555

581

582

     What was thaas? Fog was whaas? Too mult sleepth. Let

sleepth.

    But really now whenabouts? Expatiate then how much times

we live in. Yes?

    So, nat by night by naught by naket, in those good old lousy

days gone by, the days, shall we say? of Whom shall we say?

while kinderwardens minded their twinsbed, therenow they-

stood, the sycomores, all four of them, in their quartan agues, the

majorchy, the minorchy, the everso and the fermentarian with

their ballyhooric blowreaper, titranicht by tetranoxst, at their

pussycorners, and that old time pallyollogass, playing copers fear-

some, with Gus Walker, the cuddy, and his poor old dying

boosy cough, esker, newcsle, saggard, crumlin, dell me, donk,

the way to wumblin. Follow me beeline and you're bumblin,

esker, newcsle, saggard, crumlin. And listening. So gladdied up

when nicechild Kevin Mary (who was going to be comman-

deering chief of the choirboys' brigade the moment he grew up

under all the auspices) irishsmiled in his milky way of cream

dwibble and onage tustard and dessed tabbage, frighted out when

badbrat Jerry Godolphing (who was hurrying to be cardinal

scullion in a night refuge as bald as he was cured enough

unerr all the hospitals) furrinfrowned down his wrinkly waste

of methylated spirits, ick, and lemoncholy lees, ick, and pulverised

rhubarbarorum, icky;

 

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556

 

night by silentsailing night while infantina Isobel (who will be
blushing all day to be, when she growed up one Sunday,

Saint Holy and Saint Ivory, when she took the veil, the

beautiful presentation nun, so barely twenty, in her pure coif,

sister Isobel, and next Sunday, Mistlemas, when she looked

a peach, the beautiful Samaritan, still as beautiful and still

in her teens, nurse Saintette Isabelle, with stiffstarched cuffs but

on Holiday, Christmas, Easter mornings when she wore a wreath,

the wonderful widow of eighteen springs, Madame Isa Veuve La

Belle, so sad but lucksome in her boyblue's long black with

orange blossoming weeper's veil) for she was the only girl they

loved, as she is the queenly pearl you prize, because of the way

the night that first we met she is bound to be, methinks, and not

in vain, the darling of my heart, sleeping in her april cot, within

her singachamer, with her greengageflavoured candywhistle

duetted to the crazyquilt, Isobel, she is so pretty, truth to tell,

wildwood's eyes and primarose hair, quietly, all the woods so

wild, in mauves of moss and daphnedews, how all so still she lay,

neath of the whitethorn, child of tree, like some losthappy leaf,

like blowing flower stilled, as fain would she anon, for soon again

'twill be, win me, woo me, wed me, ah weary me! deeply, now

evencalm lay sleeping;

    nowth upon nacht, while in his tumbril Wachtman Havelook

seequeerscenes, from yonsides of the choppy, punkt by his

curserbog, went long the grassgross bumpinstrass that henders

the pubbel to pass, stowing his bottle in a hole for at whet his

whuskle to stretch ecrooksman, sequestering for lovers' lost pro-

pertied offices the leavethings from allpurgers' night, og gneiss

ogas gnasty, kikkers, brillers, knappers and bands, handsboon

and strumpers, sminkysticks and eddiketsflaskers;

    wan fine night and the next fine night and last find night while

Kothereen the Slop in her native's chambercushy, with dreamings

of simmering my veal astore, was basquing to her pillasleep how

she thawght a knogg came to the dowanstairs dour at that howr

to peirce the yare and dowandshe went, schritt be schratt, to see

was it Schweeps's mingerals or Shuhorn the posth with a tilly-

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557

cramp for Hemself and Co, Esquara, or them four hoarsemen on

their apolkaloops, Norreys, Soothbys, Yates and Welks, and,

galorybit of the sanes in hevel, there was a crick up the stirkiss

and when she ruz the cankle to see, galohery, downand she went

on her knees to blessersef that were knogging together like milk-

juggles as if it was the wrake of the hapspurus or old Kong

Gander O'Toole of the Mountains or his googoo goosth she

seein, sliving off over the sawdust lobby out of the backroom, wan

ter, that was everywans in turruns, in his honeymoon trim, holding

up his fingerhals, with the clookey in his fisstball, tocher of davy's,

tocher of ivileagh, for her to whisht, you sowbelly, and the

whites of his pious eyebulbs swering her to silence and coort;

    each and every juridical sessions night, whenas goodmen

twelve and true at fox and geese in their numbered habitations

tried old wireless over boord in their juremembers, whereas by

reverendum they found him guilty of their and those imputations

of fornicolopulation with two of his albowcrural correlations on

whom he was said to have enjoyed by anticipation when school-

ing them in amown, mid grass, she sat, when man was, amazingly

frank, for their first conjugation whose colours at standing up

from the above were of a pretty carnation but, if really 'twere

not so, of some deretane denudation with intent to excitation,

caused by his retrogradation, among firearmed forces proper to

this nation but apart from all titillation which, he said, was under

heat pressure and a good mitigation without which in any case

he insists upon being worthy of continued alimentation for him

having displayed, he says, such grand toleration, reprobate so

noted and all, as he was, with his washleather sweeds and his

smokingstump, for denying transubstantiation nevertheless in

respect of his highpowered station, whereof more especially as

probably he was meantime suffering genteel tortures from the

best medical attestation, as he oftentimes did, having only

strength enough, by way of festination, to implore (or I believe

you have might have said better) to complore, with complete

obsecration, on everybody connected with him the curse of co-

agulation for, he tells me outside Sammon's in King Street, after

 

558

two or three hours of close confabulation, by this pewterpint of

Gilbey's goatswhey which is his prime consolation, albeit in-

volving upon the same no uncertain amount of esophagous re-

gurgitation, he being personally unpreoccupied to the extent of

a flea's gizzard anent eructation, if he was still extremely offen-

sive to a score and four nostrils' dilatation, still he was likewise,

on the other side of him, for some nepmen's eyes a delectation, as

he asserts without the least alienation, so prays of his faullt you

would make obliteration but for our friend behind the bars,

though like Adam Findlater, a man of estimation, summing him

up to be done, be what will of excess his exaltation, still we think

with Sully there can be no right extinuation for contravention

of common and statute legislation for which the fit remedy

resides, for Mr Sully, in corporal amputation: so three months for

Gubbs Jeroboam, the frothwhiskered pest of the park, as per

act one, section two, schedule three, clause four of the fifth of

King Jark, this sentence to be carried out tomorrowmorn by

Nolans Volans at six o'clock shark, and may the yeastwind and

the hoppinghail malt mercy on his seven honeymeads and his

hurlyburlygrowth, Amen, says the Clarke;

    niece by nice by neat by natty, whilst amongst revery's happy

gardens nine with twenty Leixlip yearlings, darters all, had such a

ripping time with gleeful cries of what is nice toppingshaun made

of made for and weeping like fun, him to be gone, for they were

never happier, huhu, than when they were miserable, haha;

    in their bed of trial, on the bolster of hardship, by the glimmer

of memory, under coverlets of cowardice, Albatrus Nyanzer with

Victa Nyanza, his mace of might mortified, her beautifell hung

up on a nail, he, Mr of our fathers, she, our moddereen ru arue

rue, they, ay, by the hodypoker and blazier, they are, as sure as

dinny drops into the dyke . . .

    A cry off.

    Where are we at all? and whenabouts in the name of space?

    I don't understand. I fail to say. I dearsee you too.

    House of the cederbalm of mead. Garth of Fyon. Scene and

property plot. Stagemanager's prompt. Interior of dwelling on out-

 

559

 

skirts of city. Groove two. Chamber scene. Boxed. Ordinary bed-

room set. Salmonpapered walls. Back, empty Irish grate, Adam's

mantel, with wilting elopement fan, soot and tinsel, condemned.

North, wall with window practicable. Argentine in casement.

Vamp. Pelmit above. No curtains. Blind drawn. South, party wall.

Bed for two with strawberry bedspread, wickerworker clubsessel

and caneseated millikinstool. Bookshrine without, facetowel upon.

Chair for one. Woman's garments on chair. Man's trousers with

crossbelt braces, collar on bedknob. Man's corduroy surcoat with

tabrets and taces, seapan nacre buttons on nail. Woman's gown

on ditto. Over mantelpiece picture of Michael, lance, slaying

Satan, dragon with smoke. Small table near bed, front. Bed with

bedding. Spare. Flagpatch quilt. Yverdown design. Limes.

Lighted lamp without globe, scarf, gazette, tumbler, quantity

of water, julepot, ticker, side props, eventuals, man's gummy

article, pink.

    A time.

    Act: dumbshow.

    Closeup. Leads.

    Man with nightcap, in bed, fore. Woman, with curlpins, hind.

Discovered. Side point of view. First position of harmony. Say!

Eh? Ha! Check action. Matt. Male partly masking female. Man

looking round, beastly expression, fishy eyes, paralleliped

homoplatts, ghazometron pondus, exhibits rage. Business. Ruddy

blond, Armenian bole, black patch, beer wig, gross build,

episcopalian, any age. Woman, sitting, looks at ceiling, haggish

expression, peaky nose, trekant mouth, fithery wight, exhibits

fear. Welshrabbit teint, Nubian shine, nasal fossette, turfy tuft,

undersized, free kirk, no age. Closeup. Play!

    Callboy.   Cry off. Tabler. Her move.

    Footage.

    By the sinewy forequarters of the mare Pocahontas and by the

white shoulders of Finnuala you should have seen how that

smart sallowlass just hopped a nanny's gambit out of bunk like

old mother Mesopotomac and in eight and eight sixtyfour she

was off, door, knightlamp with her, billy's largelimbs prodgering

 

560

 

after to queen's lead. Promiscuous Omebound to Fiammelle la

Diva. Huff! His move. Blackout.

    Circus. Corridor.

    Shifting scene. Wall flats: sink and fly. Spotlight working wall

cloths. Spill playing rake and bridges. Room to sink: stairs to

sink behind room. Two pieces. Haying after queue. Replay.

    The old humburgh looks a thing incomplete so. It is so. On its

dead. But it will pawn up a fine head of porter when it is finished.

In the quicktime. The castle arkwright put in a chequered staircase

certainly. It has only one square step, to be steady, yet notwith-

stumbling are they stalemating backgammoner supstairs by skips

and trestles tiltop double corner. Whist while and game.

    What scenic artist! It is ideal residence for realtar. By hims

ingang tilt tinkt a tunning bell that Limen Mr, that Boggey

Godde, be airwaked. Lingling, lingling. Be their maggies in all.

Chump, do your ephort. Shop! Please shop! Shop ado please!

O ado please shop! How hominous his house, haunt it? Yesses

indead it be! Nogen, of imperial measure, is begraved beneadher.

Here are his naggins poured, his alladim lamps. Around the

bloombiered, booty with the bedst. For them whom he have

fordone make we newly thankful !

    Tell me something. The Porters, so to speak, after their

shadowstealers in the newsbaggers, are very nice people, are they

not? Very, all fourlike tellt. And on this wise, Mr Porter (Bar-

tholomew, heavy man, astern, mackerel shirt, hayamatt peruke)

is an excellent forefather and Mrs Porter (leading lady, a

poopahead, gaffneysaffron nightdress, iszoppy chepelure) is a

most kindhearted messmother. A so united family pateramater

is not more existing on papel or off of it. As keymaster fits the

lock it weds so this bally builder to his streamline secret. They

care for nothing except everything that is allporterous. Porto

da Brozzo! Isn't that terribly nice of them? You can ken that they

come of a rarely old family by their costumance and one must

togive that one supped of it in all tonearts from awe to zest. I

think I begin to divine so much. Only snakkest me truesome! I

stone us I'm hable.

 

 

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561

To reachy a skeer do! Still hoyhra, till venstra! Here are two

rooms on the upstairs, at forkflank and at knifekanter. Whom in

the wood are they for? Why, for little Porter babes, to be saved!

The coeds, boytom thwackers and timbuy teaser. Here is one-

thing you owed two noe. This one once upon awhile was the

other but this is the other one nighadays. Ah so? The Corsicos?

They are numerable. Guest them. Major bed, minor bickhive.

Halosobuth, sov us! Who sleeps in now number one, for ex-

ample? A pussy, purr esimple. Cunina, Statulina and Edulia,

but how sweet of her! Has your pussy a pessname? Yes, indeed,

you will hear it passim in all the noveletta and she is named

Buttercup. Her bare name will tellt it, a monitress. How very

sweet of her and what an excessively lovecharming missyname

to forsake, now that I come to drink of it filtred, a gracecup

fulled of bitterness. She is dadad's lottiest daughterpearl and

brooder's cissiest auntybride. Her shellback thimblecasket mirror

only can show her dearest friendeen. To speak well her grace

it would ask of Grecian language, of her goodness, that legend

golden. Biryina Saindua! Loreas with lillias flocaflake arrosas!

Here's newyearspray, the posquiflor, a windaborne and helio-

trope; there miriamsweet and amaranth and marygold to crown.

Add lightest knot unto tiptition. O Charis! O Charissima!

A more intriguant bambolina could one not colour up out

of Boccuccia's Enameron. Would one but to do apart a lilybit her

virginelles and, so, to breath, so, therebetween, behold, she had

instantt with her handmade as to graps the myth inmid the air.

Mother of moth! I will to show herword in flesh. Approach not for

ghost sake! It is dormition! She may think, what though little doth

she realise, as morning fresheth, it hath happened her, you know

what, as they too what two dare not utter. Silvoo plush, if scolded

she draws a face. Petticoat's asleep but in the gentlenest of her

thoughts apoo is a nursepin. To be presented, Babs for Bim-

bushi? Of courts and with enticers. Up, girls, and at him! Alone?

Alone what? I mean, our strifestirrer, does she do fleurty winkies

with herself. Pussy is never alone, as records her chambrette, for

she can always look at Biddles and talk petnames with her little

 

 

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562

 

playfilly when she is sitting downy on the ploshmat. O, she

talks, does she? Marry, how? Rosepetalletted sounds. Ah Biddles

es ma plikplak. Ah plikplak wed ma Biddles. A nice jezebel bary-

tinette she will gift but I much prefer her missnomer in maidenly

golden lasslike gladsome wenchful flowery girlish beautycapes.

So do I, much. Dulce delicatissima! Doth Dolly weeps she is

hastings. Will Dally bumpsetty it is tubtime. Allaliefest, she who

pities very pebbles, dare we not wish on her our thrice onsk?

A lovely fear! That she seventip toe her chrysming, that she spin

blue to scarlad till her temple's veil, that the Mount of Whoam it

open it her to shelterer! She will blow ever so much more pro-

misefuller, blee me, than all the other common marygales that

romp round brigidschool, charming Carry Whambers or saucy

Susy Maucepan of Merry Anna Patchbox or silly Polly Flinders.

Platsch! A plikaplak.

    And since we are talking amnessly of brukasloop crazedledaze,

who doez in sleeproom number twobis? The twobirds. Holy

policeman, O, I see! Of what age are your birdies? They are to

come of twinning age so soon as they may be born to be elder-

ing like those olders while they are living under chairs. They are

and they seem to be so tightly tattached as two maggots to touch

other, I think I notice, do I not? You do. Our bright bull babe

Frank Kevin is on heartsleeveside. Do not you waken him ! Our

farheard bode. He is happily to sleep, limb of the Lord, with his

lifted in blessing, his buchel Iosa, like the blissed angel he looks so

like and his mou is semiope as though he were blowdelling on a

bugigle. Whene'er I see those smiles in eyes 'tis Father Quinn

again. Very shortly he will smell sweetly when he will hear a weird

to wean. By gorgeous, that boy will blare some knight when he will

take his dane's pledges and quit our ingletears, spite of undesirable

parents, to wend him to Amorica to quest a cashy job. That keen

dean with his veen nonsolance! O, I adore the profeen music!

Dollarmighty! He is too audorable really, eunique! I guess to

have seen somekid like him in the story book, guess I met some-

where somelam to whom he will be becoming liker. But hush!

How unpardonable of me! I beg for your venials, sincerely I do.

 

 

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563

 

    Hush! The other, twined on codliverside, has been crying in

his sleep, making sharpshape his inscissors on some first choice

sweets fished out of the muck. A stake in our mead. What a

teething wretch! How his book of craven images! Here are post-

humious tears on his intimelle. And he has pipettishly bespilled

himself from his foundingpen as illspent from inkinghorn. He is

jem job joy pip poo pat (jot um for a sobrat!) Jerry Jehu. You will

know him by name in the capers but you cannot see whose heel he

sheepfolds in his wrought hand because I have not told it to you.

O, foetal sleep! Ah, fatal slip! the one loved, the other left, the

bride of pride leased to the stranger! He will be quite within the pale

when with lordbeeron brow he vows him so tosset to be of the sir

Blake tribes bleak while through life's unblest he rodes backs of

bannars. Are you not somewhat bulgar with your bowels?

Whatever do you mean with bleak? With pale blake I write tint-

ingface. O, you do? And with steelwhite and blackmail I ha'scint

for my sweet an anemone's letter with a gold of my bridest hair

betied. Donatus his mark, address as follows. So you did? From

the Cat and Cage. O, I see and see! In the ink of his sweat

he will find it yet. What Gipsy Devereux vowed to Lylian and

why the elm and how the stone. You never may know in the

preterite all perhaps that you would not believe that you ever

even saw to be about to. Perhaps. But they are two very blizky

little portereens after their bredscrums, Jerkoff and Eatsup, as

for my part opinion indeed. They would be born so, costarred,

puck and prig, the maryboy at Donnybrook Fair, the godolphing-

lad in the Hoy's Court. How frilled one shall be as at taledold of

Formio and Cigalette ! What folly innocents ! Theirs whet pep of

puppyhood! Both barmhearts shall become yeastcake by their

brackfest. I will to leave a my copperwise blessing between the

pair of them, for rosengorge, for greenafang. Blech and tin soldies,

weals in a sniffbox. Som's wholed, all's parted. Weeping shouldst

not thou be when man falls but that divine scheming ever adoring

be. So you be either man or mouse and you be neither fish nor

flesh. Take. And take. Vellicate nyche! Be ones as wes for gives for

gives now the hour of passings sembles quick with quelled. Adieu,

soft adieu, for these nice presents, kerryjevin. Still tosorrow!

 

 

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564

 

    Jeminy, what is the view which now takes up a second posi-

tion of discordance, tell it please? Mark! You notice it in that

rereway because the male entail partially eclipses the femecovert.

It is so called for its discord the meseedo. Do you ever heard the

story about Helius Croesus, that white and gold elephant in our

zoopark? You astonish me by it. Is it not that we are command-

ing from fullback, woman permitting, a profusely fine birdseye

view from beauhind this park? Finn his park has been much the

admiration of all the stranger ones, grekish and romanos, who

arrive to here. The straight road down the centre (see relief map)

bisexes the park which is said to be the largest of his kind in the

world. On the right prominence confronts you the handsome

vinesregent's lodge while, turning to the other supreme piece of

cheeks, exactly opposite, you are confounded by the equally hand-

some chief sacristary's residence. Around is a little amiably tufted

and man is cheered when he bewonders through the boskage

how the nature in all frisko is enlivened by gentlemen's seats.

Here are heavysuppers —  'tis for daddies housings for hun-

dredaires of our super thin thousand. By gum, but you have

resin! Of these tallworts are yielded out juices for jointoils and

pappasses for paynims. Listeneth! 'Tis a tree story. How olave,

that firile, was aplantad in her liveside. How tannoboom held

tonobloom. How rood in norlandes. The black and blue marks

athwart the weald, which now barely is so stripped, indicate the

presence of sylvious beltings. Therewithal shady rides lend

themselves out to rustic cavalries. In yonder valley, too,

stays mountain sprite. Any pretty dears are to be caught inside

but it is a bad pities of the plain. A scarlet pimparnell now

mules the mound where anciently first murders were wanted

to take root. By feud fionghalian. Talkingtree and sinningstone

stay on either hand. Hystorical leavesdroppings may also be gar-

nered up with sir Shamus Swiftpatrick, Archfieldchaplain of Saint

Lucan's. How familiar it is to see all these interesting advenements

with one snaked's eyes! Is all? Yet not. Hear one's. At the bodom

fundus of this royal park, which, with tvigate shyasian gardeenen,

is open to the public till night at late, so well the sissastrides so will

 

 

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565

 

the pederestians, do not fail to point to yourself a depression

called Holl Hollow. It is often quite guttergloomering in our

duol and gives wankyrious thoughts to the head but the banders

of the pentapolitan poleetsfurcers bassoons into it on windy

woodensdays their wellbooming wolvertones. Ulvos! Ulvos!

    Whervolk dorst ttou begin to tremble by our moving pictures

at this moment when I am to place my hand of our true friend-

shapes upon thee knee to mark well what I say? Throu shayest

who? In Amsterdam there lived a . . . But how? You are trem-

blotting, you retchad, like a verry jerry! Niet? Will you a gui-

neeser? Gaij beutel of staub? To feel, you? Yes, how it trembles,

the timid! Vortigern, ah Gortigern! Overlord of Mercia! Or

doth brainskin flinchgreef? Stemming! What boyazhness! Sole

shadow shows. Tis jest jibberweek's joke. It must have stole. O,

keve silence, both! Putshameyu! I have heard her voice some-

where else's before me in these ears still that now are for mine.

    Let op. Slew musies. Thunner in the eire.

    You were dreamend, dear. The pawdrag? The fawthrig?

Shoe! Hear are no phanthares in the room at all, avikkeen. No

bad bold faathern, dear one. Opop opop capallo, muy malinchily

malchick! Gothgorod father godown followay tomollow the

lucky load to Lublin for make his thoroughbass grossman's big-

ness. Take that two piece big slap slap bold honty bottomsside

pap pap pappa.

    —  Li ne dormis?

    —  S! Malbone dormas.

    —  Kia li krias nikte?

    —  Parolas infanetes. S!

    Sonly all in your imagination, dim. Poor little brittle magic

nation, dim of mind! Shoe to me now, dear! Shoom of me! While

elvery stream winds seling on for to keep this barrel of bounty

rolling and the nightmail afarfrom morning nears.

    When you're coaching through Lucalised, on the sulphur spa

to visit, it's safer to hit than miss it, stop at his inn! The hammers

are telling the cobbles, the pickts are hacking the saxums, it's

snugger to burrow abed than ballet on broadway. Tuck in your

 

 

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566

 

blank! For it's race pound race the hosties rear all roads to ruin

and layers by lifetimes laid down riches from poormen. Cried

unions to chip, saltpetre to strew, gallpitch to drink, stonebread

to break but it's bully to gulp good blueberry pudding. Doze

in your warmth ! While the elves in the moonbeams, feeling why,

will keep my lilygem gently gleaming.

    In the sleepingchambers. The court to go into half morning.

The four seneschals with their palfrey to be there now, all

balaaming in their sellaboutes and sharping up their penisills. The

boufeither Soakersoon at holdup tent sticker. The swabsister

Katya to have duntalking and to keep shakenin dowan her drogh-

edars. Those twelve chief barons to stand by duedesmally with

their folded arums and put down all excursions and false alarums

and after that to go back now to their runameat farums and re-

compile their magnum chartarums with the width of the road

between them and all harrums. The maidbrides all, in favours

gay, to strew sleety cinders on their falling hair and for wouldbe

joybells to ring sadly ringless hands. The dame dowager to stay

kneeled how she is, as first mutherer with cord in coil. The two

princes of the tower royal, daulphin and deevlin, to lie how they

are without to see. The dame dowager's duffgerent to present

wappon, blade drawn to the full and about wheel without to be

seen of them. The infant Isabella from her coign to do obeisance

toward the duffgerent, as first futherer with drawn brand. Then

the court to come in to full morning. Herein see ye fail not!

    —  Vidu, porkego! Ili vi rigardas. Returnu, porkego. Maldeli-

kato!

    Gauze off heaven! Vision. Then. O, pluxty suddly, the sight

entrancing! Hummels! That crag! Those hullocks! O Sire! So be

accident occur is not going to commence! What have you there-

fore? Fear you the donkers? Of roovers? I fear lest we have lost

ours (non grant it!) respecting these wildy parts. How is hit finis-

ter! How shagsome all and beastful! What do you show on? I

show because I must see before my misfortune so a stark pointing

pole. Lord of ladders, what for lungitube! Can you read the verst

legend hereon? I am hather of the missed. Areed! To the dun-

 

 

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567

 

leary obelisk via the rock vhat myles knox furlongs; to the

general's postoffice howsands of patience; to the Wellington

memorial half a league wrongwards; to Sara's bridge good hun-

ter and nine to meet her: to the point, one yeoman's yard. He, he,

he! At that do you leer, a setting up? With a such unfettered belly?

Two cascades? I leer (O my big, O my bog, O my bigbagbone!)

because I must see a buntingcap of so a pinky on the point. It is

for a true glover's greetings and many burgesses by us, greats

and grosses, uses to pink it in this way at tet-at-tet. For long has

it been effigy of standard royal when broken on roofstaff which

to the gunnings shall cast welcome from Courtmilits' Fortress,

umptydum dumptydum. Bemark you these hangovers, those

streamer fields, his influx. Do you not have heard that, the queen

lying abroad from fury of the gales, (meekname mocktitles her

Nan Nan Nanetta) her liege of lateenth dignisties shall come on

their bay tomorrow, Michalsmas, mellems the third and fourth of

the clock, there to all the king's aussies and all their king's men,

knechts tramplers and cavalcaders, led of herald graycloak, Ulaf

Goldarskield? Dog! Dog! Her lofts will be loosed for her and

their tumblers broodcast. A progress shall be made in walk, ney? I

trow it well, and uge by uge. He shall come, sidesmen accostant, by

aryan jubilarian and on brigadier-general Nolan or and buccaneer-

admiral Browne, with —  who can doubt it? —  his golden beagles

and his white elkox terriers for a hunting on our littlego illcome

faxes. In blue and buff of Beaufort the hunt shall make. It is

poblesse noblige. Ommes will grin through collars when each

riders other's ass. Me Eccls! What cats' killings overall! What

popping out of guillotened widows! Quick time! Beware of

waiting! Squintina plies favours on us from her rushfrail and

Zosimus, the crowder, in his surcoat, sues us with souftwister.

Apart we! Here are gantlets. I believe, by Plentifolks Mixymost!

Yet if I durst to express the hope how I might be able to be pre-

sent. All these peeplers entrammed and detrained on bikeygels

and troykakyls and those puny farting little solitires! Tollacre,

tollacre! Polo north will beseem Sibernian and Plein Pelouta will

behowl ne yerking at lawncastrum ne ghimbelling on guelflinks.

 

 

---

 

568

 

Mauser Misma shall cease to stretch her and come abroad for what

the blinkins is to be seen. A ruber, a rancher, a fullvide, a veri-

dust and as crerdulous behind as he was before behind a damson

of a sloe cooch. Mbv! The annamation of evabusies, the livlia-

ness of her laughings, such as a plurity of bells! Have peacience,

pray you! Place to dames! Even the Lady Victoria Landauner

will leave to loll and parasol, all giddied into gushgasps with her

dickey standing. Britus and Gothius shall no more joustle for

that sonneplace but mark one autonement when, with si so silent,

Cloudia Aiduolcis, good and dewed up, shall let fall, yes, no, yet,

now, a rain. Muchsias grapcias! It is how sweet from her, the

wispful, and they are soon seen swopsib so a sautril as a meise.

Its ist not the tear on this movent sped. Tix sixponce! Poum!

Hool poll the bull? Fool pay the bill. Becups a can full. Peal, pull

the bell ! Still sayeme of ceremonies, much much more! So please-

your! It stands in Instopressible how Meynhir Mayour, our

boorgomaister, thon staunch Thorsman, (our Nancy's fancy, our

own Nanny's Big Billy), his hod hoisted, in best bib and tucker,

with Woolington bottes over buckram babbishkis and his clouded

cane and necknoose aureal, surrounded of his full cooperation

with fixed baronets and meng our pueblos, restrained by chain of

hands from pinchgut, hoghill, darklane, gibbetmeade and beaux

and laddes and bumbellye, shall receive Dom King at broadstone

barrow meet a keys of goodmorrow on to his pompey cushion.

Me amble dooty to your grace's majers! Arise, sir Pompkey

Dompkey! Ear! Ear! Weakear! An allness eversides! We but

miss that horse elder yet cherchant of the wise graveleek in

cabbuchin garden. That his be foison, old Caubeenhauben!

'Twill be tropic of all days. By the splendour of Sole! Perfect

weatherest prevailing. Thisafter, swift's mightmace deposing, he

shall aidress to His Serenemost by a speechreading from his

miniated vellum, alfi byrni gamman dealter etcera zezera eacla

treacla youghta kaptor lomdom noo, who meaningwhile that

illuminatured one, Papyroy of Pepinregn, my Sire, great, big King,

(his scaffold is there set up, as to edify, by Rex Ingram, pageant-

master) will be poking out with his canule into the arras of

 

 

---

 

569

 

what brilliant bridgecloths and joking up with his tonguespitz

to the crimosing balkonladies, here's a help undo their modest

stays with a fullbelow may the funnyfeelbelong. Oddsbones,

that may it! Carilloners will ring their gluckspeels. Rng rng!

Rng rng! S. Presbutt-in-the-North, S. Mark Underloop,

S. Lorenz-by-the-Toolechest, S. Nicholas Myre. You shall

hark to anune S. Gardener, S. George-le-Greek, S. Barclay

Moitered, S. Phibb, Iona-in-the-Fields with Paull-the-Aposteln.

And audialterand: S. Jude-at-Gate, Bruno Friars, S. Weslen-

on-the-Row, S. Molyneux Without, S. Mary Stillamaries with

Bride-and-Audeons-behind-Wardborg. How chimant in effect!

Alla tingaling pealabells! So a many of churches one cannot

pray own's prayers. 'Tis holyyear's day! Juin jully we may!

Agithetta and Tranquilla shall demure umclaused but Marl-

borough-the-Less, Greatchrist and Holy Protector shall have

open virgilances. Beata Basilica! But will be not pontifi-

cation? Dock, dock, agame! Primatially. At wateredge. Can-

taberra and Neweryork may supprecate when, by vepers, for

towned and travalled, his goldwhite swaystick aloft ylifted,

umbrilla-parasoul, Monsigneur of Deublan shall impart to all.

Benedictus benedicat! To board! And mealsight! Unjoint him

this bittern, frust me this chicken, display yon crane, thigh her

her pigeon, unlace allay rabbit and pheasant! Sing: Old Finncoole,

he's a mellow old saoul when he swills with his fuddlers free!

Poppop array! For we're all jollygame fellhellows which no-

bottle can deny! Here be trouts culponed for ye and salmons

chined and sturgeons tranched, sanced capons, lobsters barbed.

Call halton eatwords! Mumm me moe mummers! What, no

Ithalians? How, not one Moll Pamelas? Accordingly! Play actors

by us ever have crash to their gate. Mr Messop and Mr Borry will

produce of themselves, as they're two genitalmen of Veruno,

Senior Nowno and Senior Brolano (finaly! finaly!), all for love of

a fair penitent that, a she be broughton, rhoda's a rosy she. Their

two big skins! How they strave to gat her! Such a boyplay! Their

bouchicaulture! What tyronte power! Buy our fays! My name is

novel and on the Granby in hills. Bravose! Thou traitor slave!

 

 

---

 

570

 

Mine name's Apnorval and o'er the Grandbeyond Mountains.

Bravossimost! The royal nusick their show shall shut with song-

slide to nature's solemn silence. Deep Dalchi Dolando! Might

gentle harp addurge! It will give piketurns on the tummlipplads

and forain dances and crosshurdles and dollmanovers and viceuv-

ious pyrolyphics, a snow of dawnflakes, at darkfall for Grace's

Mamnesty and our fancy ladies, all assombred. Some wholetime in

hot town tonight! You do not have heard? It stays in book

of that which is. I have heard anyone tell it jesterday (master

currier with brassard was't) how one should come on morrow

here but it is never here that one today. Well but remind to think,

you where yestoday Ys Morganas war and that it is always to-

morrow in toth's tother's place. Amen.

    True! True! Vouchsafe me more soundpicture! It gives furi-

ously to think. Is rich Mr Pornter, a squire, not always in his such

strong health? I thank you for the best, he is in taken deal ex-

ceedingly herculeneous. One sees how he is lot stoutlier than of

formerly. One would say him to hold whole a litteringture of

kidlings under his aproham. Has handsome Sir Pournter always

been so long married? O yes, Lord Pournterfamilias has been

marryingman ever since so long time in Hurtleforth, where he

appeers as our oily the active, and, yes indeed, he has his mic son

and his two fine mac sons and a superfine mick want they mack

metween them. She, she, she! But on what do you again leer? I am

not leering, I pink you pardons. I am highly sheshe sherious.

    Do you not must want to go somewhere on the present?

Yes, O pity! At earliest moment! That prickly heat feeling! For-

think not me spill it's at always so guey. Here we shall do a

far walk (O pity) anygo khaibits till the number one of sairey's

place. Is, is. I want you to admire her sceneries illustrationing

our national first rout, one ought ought one. We shall too

downlook on that ford where Sylvanus Sanctus washed but

hurdley those tips of his anointeds. Do not show ever retrorsehim,

crockodeyled, till that you become quite crimstone in the face!

Beware! guardafew! It is Stealer of the Heart! I am anxious in

regard you should everthrown your sillarsalt. I will dui sui, tef-

 

 

---

 

571

 

nute! These brilling waveleaplights! Please say me how sing you

them. Seekhem seckhem! They arise from a clear springwell in

the near of our park which makes the daft to hear all blend. This

place of endearment! How it is clear! And how they cast their

spells upon, the fronds that thereup float, the bookstaff branch-

ings! The druggeted stems, the leaves incut on trees! Do you

can their tantrist spellings? I can lese, skillmistress aiding. Elm,

bay, this way, cull dare, take a message, tawny runes ilex sallow,

meet me at the pine. Yes, they shall have brought us to the water

trysting, by hedjes of maiden ferm, then here in another place is

their chapelofeases, sold for song, of which you have thought

my praise too much my price. O ma ma! Yes, sad one of Ziod?

Sell me, my soul dear! Ah, my sorrowful, his cloister dreeping

of his monkshood, how it is triste to death, all his dark ivytod!

Where cold in dearth. Yet see, my blanching kissabelle, in the

under close she is allso gay, her kirtles green, her curtsies white,

her peony pears, her nistlingsloes! I, pipette, I must also quick-

lingly to tryst myself softly into this littleeasechapel. I would

rather than Ireland! But I pray, make! Do your easiness! O,

peace, this is heaven! O, Mr Prince of Pouringtoher, whatever

shall I pppease to do? Why do you so lifesighs, my precious, as

I hear from you, with limmenings lemantitions, after that swollen

one? I am not sighing, I assure, but only I am soso sorry about

all in my saarasplace. Listen, listen! I am doing it. Hear more to

those voices! Always I am hearing them. Horsehem coughs

enough. Annshee lispes privily.

    —  He is quieter now.

    —  Legalentitled. Accesstopartnuzz. Notwildebeestsch. By-

rightofoaptz. Twainbeonerflsh. Haveandholdpp.

    —  S! Let us go. Make a noise. Slee . . .

    —  Qui . . . The gir . . .

    —  Huesofrichunfoldingmorn. Wakenupriseandprove. Pro-

videforsacrifice.

    —  Wait! Hist! Let us list!

    For our netherworld's bosomfoes are working tooth and nail

overtime: in earthveins, toadcavites, chessganglions, saltkles-

 

 

---

 

572

 

ters, underfed: nagging firenibblers knockling aterman up out of

his hinterclutch. Tomb be their tools! When the youngdammers

will be soon heartpocking on their betters' doornoggers: and the

youngfries will be backfrisking diamondcuts over their lyingin

underlayers, spick and spat trowelling a gravetrench for their

fourinhand forebears. Vote for your club!

    —  Wait!

    —  What!

    —  Her door!

    —  Ope?

    —  See!

    —  What?

    —  Careful.

    —  Who?

    Live well! Iniivdluaritzas! Tone!

    Cant ear! Her dorters ofe? Whofe? Her eskmeno daughters

hope? Whope? Ellme, elmme, elskmestoon! Soon!

    Let us consider.

    The procurator Interrogarius Mealterum presends us this pro-

poser.

    Honuphrius is a concupiscent exservicemajor who makes dis-

honest propositions to all. He is considered to have committed,

invoking droit d'oreiller, simple infidelities with Felicia, a virgin,

and to be practising for unnatural coits with Eugenius and Jere-

mias, two or three philadelphians. Honophrius, Felicia, Eugenius

and Jeremias are consanguineous to the lowest degree. Anita

the wife of Honophrius, has been told by her tirewoman, For-

tissa, that Honuphrius has blasphemously confessed under volun-

tary chastisement that he has instructed his slave, Mauritius, to

urge Magravius, a commercial, emulous of Honuphrius, to solicit

the chastity of Anita. Anita is informed by some illegitimate

children of Fortissa with Mauritius (the supposition is Ware's)

that Gillia, the schismatical wife of Magravius, is visited clandes-

tinely by Barnabas, the advocate of Honuphrius, an immoral

person who has been corrupted by Jeremias. Gillia, (a cooler

blend, D'Alton insists) ex equo with Poppea, Arancita, Clara,

 

 

---

 

573

 

Marinuzza, Indra and Iodina, has been tenderly debauched

(in Halliday's view), by Honuphrius, and Magravius knows

from spies that Anita has formerly committed double sacrilege

with Michael, vulgo Cerularius, a perpetual curate, who wishes

to seduce Eugenius. Magravius threatens to have Anita molested

by Sulla, an orthodox savage (and leader of a band of twelve

mercenaries, the Sullivani), who desires to procure Felicia for

Gregorius, Leo, Vitellius and Macdugalius, four excavators, if

she will not yield to him and also deceive Honuphrius by ren-

dering conjugal duty when demanded. Anita who claims to have

discovered incestuous temptations from Jeremias and Eugenius

would yield to the lewdness of Honuphrius to appease the

savagery of Sulla and the mercernariness of the twelve Sullivani,

and (as Gilbert at first suggested), to save the virginity of

Felicia for Magravius when converted by Michael after the

death of Gillia, but she fears that, by allowing his marital rights

she may cause reprehensible conduct between Eugenius and

Jeremias. Michael, who has formerly debauched Anita, dispen-

ses her from yielding to Honuphrius who pretends publicly to

possess his conjunct in thirtynine several manners (turpiter!

affirm ex cathedris Gerontes Cambronses) for carnal hygiene

whenever he has rendered himself impotent to consummate by

subdolence. Anita is disturbed but Michael comminates that

he will reserve her case tomorrow for the ordinary Guglielmus

even if she should practise a pious fraud during affrication

which, from experience, she knows (according to Wadding),

to be leading to nullity. Fortissa, however, is encouraged by

Gregorius, Leo, Viteilius, and Magdugalius, reunitedly, to warn

Anita by describing the strong chastisements of Honuphrius

and the depravities (turpissimas!) of Canicula, the deceased wife

of Mauritius, with Sulla, the simoniac, who is abnegand and

repents. Has he hegemony and shall she submit?

    Translate a lax, you breed a bradaun. In the goods of Cape and

Chattertone, deceased.

    This, lay readers and gentilemen, is perhaps the commonest

of all cases arising out of umbrella history in connection with

 

 

---

 

574

 

the wood industries in our courts of litigation. D'Oyly Owens

holds (though Finn Magnusson of himself holds also) that so

long as there is a joint deposit account in the two names a

mutual obligation is posited. Owens cites Brerfuchs and Warren,

a foreign firm, since disseized, registered as Tangos, Limited,

for the sale of certain proprietary articles. The action which was

at the instance of the trustee of the heathen church emergency

fund, suing by its trustee, a resigned civil servant, for the pay-

ment of tithes due was heard by Judge Doyle and also by a com-

mon jury. No question arose as to the debt for which vouchers

spoke volumes. The defence alleged that payment had been made

effective. The fund trustee, one Jucundus Fecundus Xero Pecun-

dus Coppercheap, counterclaimed that payment was invalid

having been tendered to creditor under cover of a crossed cheque,

signed in the ordinary course, in the name of Wieldhelm, Hurls

Cross, voucher copy provided, and drawn by the senior partner

only by whom the lodgment of the species had been effected but

in their joint names. The bank particularised, the national misery

(now almost entirely in the hands of the four chief bondholders

for value in Tangos), declined to pay the draft, though there

were ample reserves to meet the liability, whereupon the trusty

Coppercheap negociated it for and on behalf of the fund of the

thing to a client of his, a notary, from whom, on consideration, he

received in exchange legal relief as between trusthee and bethrust,

with thanks. Since then the cheque, a good washable pink, em-

bossed D you D No 11 hundred and thirty 2, good for the figure

and face, had been circulating in the country for over thirtynine

years among holders of Pango stock, a rival concern, though not

one demonetised farthing had ever spun or fluctuated across the

counter in the semblance of hard coin or liquid cash. The jury (a

sour dozen of stout fellows all of whom were curiously named

after doyles) naturally disagreed jointly and severally, and the

belligerent judge, disagreeing with the allied jurors' disagree-

ment, went outside his jurisfiction altogether and ordered a gar-

nishee attachment to the neutral firm. No mandamus could lo-

cate the depleted whilom Breyfawkes as he had entered into an

 

 

---

 

575

 

ancient moratorium, dating back to the times of the early barters,

and only the junior partner Barren could be found, who entered an

appearance and turned up, upon a notice of motion and after service

of the motion by interlocutory injunction, among the male jurors

to be an absolete turfwoman, originally from the proletarian class,

with still a good title to her sexname of Ann Doyle, 2 Coppinger's

Cottages, the Doyle's country. Doyle (Ann), add woman in,

having regretfully left the juryboxers, protested cheerfully on the

stand in a long jurymiad in re corset checks, delivered in doy-

lish, that she had often, in supply to brusk demands rising almost

to bollion point, discounted Mr Brakeforth's first of all in ex-

change at nine months from date without issue and, to be strictly

literal, unbottled in corrubberation a current account of how

she had been made at sight for services rendered the payee-

drawee of unwashable blank assignations, sometimes pinkwilliams

(laughter) but more often of the crème-de-citron, vair émail paon-

coque or marshmallow series, which she, as bearer, used to en-

dorse, adhesively, to her various payers-drawers who in most cases

were identified by the timber papers as wellknown tetigists of the

city and suburban. The witness, at her own request, asked if she

might and wrought something between the sheets of music paper

which she had accompanied herself with for the occasion and

this having been handed up for the bench to look at in camera,

Coppinger's doll, as she was called, (annias, Mack Erse's Dar,

the adopted child) then proposed to jerrykin and jureens and every

jim, jock and jarry in that little green courtinghousie for her satis-

faction and as a whole act of settlement to reamalgamate herself,

tomorrow perforce, in pardonership with the permanent suing fond

trustee, Monsignore Pepigi, under the new style of Will Break-

fast and Sparrem, as, when all his cognisances had been estreated,

he seemed to proffer the steadiest interest towards her, but this

prepoposal was ruled out on appeal by Judge Jeremy Doyler, who,

reserving judgment in a matter of courts and reversing the find-

ings of the lower correctional, found, beyond doubt of treuson,

fending the dissassents of the pickpackpanel, twelve as upright

judaces as ever let down their thoms, and, occupante extremum

 

 

---

 

576

 

scabie handed down to the jury of the Liffey that, as a matter of

tact, the woman they gave as free was born into contractual in-

capacity (the Calif of Man v the Eaudelusk Company) when, how

and where mamy's mancipium act did not apply and therefore held

supremely that, as no property in law can exist in a corpse,

(Hal Kilbride v Una Bellina) Pepigi's pact was pure piffle (loud

laughter) and Wharrem would whistle for the rhino. Will you,

won't you, pango with Pepigi? Not for Nancy, how dare you do!

And whew whewwhew whew.

    —  He sighed in sleep.

    —  Let us go back.

    —  Lest he forewaken.

    —  Hide ourselves.

    While hovering dreamwings, folding around, will hide from

fears my wee mee mannikin, keep my big wig long strong mano-

men, guard my bairn, mon beau.

    —  To bed.

    Prospector projector and boomooster giant builder of all

causeways woesoever, hopping offpoint and true terminus of

straxstraightcuts and corkscrewn perambulaups, zeal whence to

goal whither, wonderlust, in sequence to which every muckle

must make its mickle, as different as York from Leeds, being the

only wise in a muck's world to look on itself from beforehand;

mirrorminded curiositease and would-to-the-large which bring

hills to molehunter, home through first husband, perils behind

swine and horsepower down to hungerford, prick this man and

tittup this woman, our forced payrents, Bogy Bobow with his

cunnyngnest couchmare, Big Maester Finnykin with Phenicia

Parkes, lame of his ear and gape of her leg, most correctingly,

we beseach of you, down their laddercase of nightwatch service

and bring them at suntime flush with the nethermost gangrung

of their stepchildren, guide them through the labyrinth of their

samilikes and the alteregoases of their pseudoselves, hedge them

bothways from all roamers whose names are ligious, from loss

of bearings deliver them; so they keep to their rights and be

ware of duty frees, neoliffic smith and magdalenian jinnyjones,

 

 

---

 

577

 

mandragon mor and weak wiffeyducky, Morionmale and Thry-

dacianmad, basilisk glorious with his weeniequeenie, tigernack

and swansgrace, he as hale as his ardouries, she as verve as her

veines; this prime white arsenic with bissemate alloyed, martial

sin with peccadilly, free to lease hold with first mortgage, dow-

ser dour and dipper douce, stop-that-war and feel-this-feather,

norsebloodheartened and landsmoolwashable, great gas with

fun-in-the-corner, grand slam with fall-of-the-trick, solomn one

and shebby, cod and coney, cash and carry, in all we dreamed

the part we dreaded, corsair coupled with his dame, royal biber

but constant lymph, boniface and bonnyfeatures, nazil hose and

river mouth, bang-the-change and batter-the-bolster, big smoke

and lickley roesthy, humanity's fahrman by society leader, voguener

and trulley, humpered and elf, Urloughmoor with Miryburrow,

leaks and awfully, basal curse yet grace abunda, Regies Producer

with screendoll Vedette, peg of his claim and pride of her heart,

cliffscaur grisly but rockdove cooing, hodinstag on fryggabet,

baron and feme: that he may dishcover her that she may uncouple

him, that one may come and crumple them, that they may soon

recoup themselves: now and then, time on time again, as per

periodicity; from Neaves to Willses, from Bushmills to Enos; to

Goerz from Harleem, to Hearths of Oak from Skittish Widdas;

via mala, hyber pass, heckhisway per alptrack: through lands-

vague and vain, after many mandelays: in their first case, to the

next place, till their cozenkerries: the high and the by, both pent

and plain: cross cowslips yillow, yellow, yallow, past pumpkins

pinguind, purplesome: be they whacked to the wide other tied

to hustings, long sizzleroads neath arthruseat, him to the derby,

her to toun, til sengentide do coddlam: in the grounds or unter-

linnen: rue to lose and ca canny: at shipside, by convent garden:

monk and sempstress, in sackcloth silkily: curious dreamers,

curious dramas, curious deman, plagiast dayman, playajest

dearest, plaguiest dourest: for the strangfort planters are pro-

desting, and the karkery felons dryflooring it and the leperties'

laddos railing the way, blump for slogo slee!

    Stop! Did a stir? No, is fast. On to bed! So he is. It's only the

 

 

---

 

578

 

wind on the road outside for to wake all shivering shanks from

snorring.

    But. Oom Godd his villen, who will he be, this mitryman, some

king of the yeast, in his chrismy greyed brunzewig, with the snow

in his mouth and the caspian asthma, so bulk of build? Relics of

pharrer and livite! Dik Gill, Tum Lung or Macfinnan's cool

Harryng? He has only his hedcosycasket on and his wollsey

shirtplisse with peascod doublet, also his feet wear doubled width

socks for he always must to insure warm sleep between a pair of

fullyfleeced bankers like a finnoc in a cauwl. Can thus be Misthra

Norkmann that keeps our hotel? Begor, Mr O'Sorgmann, you're

looking right well! Hecklar's champion ethnicist. How deft as a

fuchser schouws daft as a fish! He's the dibble's own doges for

doublin existents! But a jolly fine daysent form of one word.

He's rounding up on his family.

    And who is the bodikin by him, sir? So voulzievalsshie? With

ybbs and zabs? Her trixiestrail is tripping her, vop! Luck at the

way for the lucre of smoke she's looping the lamp! Why, that's

old missness wipethemdry! Well, well, wellsowells! Donau-

watter! Ardechious me! With her halfbend as proud as a peahen,

allabalmy, and her troutbeck quiverlipe, ninyananya. And her

steptojazyma's culunder buzztle. Happy tea area, naughtygay

frew! Selling sunlit sopes to washtout winches and rhaincold

draughts to the props of his pubs. She tired lipping the swells at

Pont Delisle till she jumped the boom at Brounemouth. Now

she's borrid his head under Hatesbury's Hatch and loamed his

fate to old Love Lane. And she's just the same old haporth of

dripping. She's even brennt her hair.

    Which route are they going? Why? Angell sitter or Amen

Corner, Norwood's Southwalk or Euston Waste? The solvent

man in his upper gambeson withnot a breth against him and the

wee wiping womanahoussy. They're coming terug their dia-

mond wedding tour, giant's inchly elfkin's ell, vesting their char-

acters vixendevolment, andens aller, athors err, our first day man

and your dresser and mine, that Luxuumburgher evec cettehis

Alzette, konyglik shire with his queensh countess, Stepney's

 

 

---

 

579

 

shipchild with the waif of his bosun, Dunmow's flitcher with

duck-on-the-rock, down the scales, the way they went up,

under talls and threading tormentors, shunning the startraps and

slipping in sliders, risking a runway, ruing reveals, from Elder

Arbor to La Puirée, eskipping the clockback, crystal in carbon,

sweetheartedly. Hot and cold and electrickery with attendance

and lounge and promenade free. In spite of all that science could

boot or art could eke. Bolt the grinden. Cave and can em.

Single wrecks for the weak, double axe for the mail, and quick

queck quack for the radiose. Renove that bible. You will never

have post in your pocket unless you have brasse on your plate.

Beggards outdoor. Goat to the Endth, thou slowguard! Mind

the Monks and their Grasps. Scrape your souls. Commit no

miracles. Postpone no bills. Respect the uniform. Hold the raa-

bers for the kunning his plethoron. Let leash the dooves to the

cooin her coynth. Hatenot havenots. Share the wealth and spoil

the weal. Peg the pound to tom the devil. My time is on draught.

Bottle your own. Love my label like myself. Earn before eating.

Drudge after drink. Credit tomorrow. Follow my dealing. Fetch

my price. Buy not from dives. Sell not to freund. Herenow chuck

english and learn to pray plain. Lean on your lunch. No cods

before Me. Practise preaching. Think in your stomach. Import

through the nose. By faith alone. Season's weather. Gomorrha.

Salong. Lots feed from my tidetable. Oil's wells in our lands. Let

earwigger's wivable teach you the dance!

    Now their laws assist them and ease their fall!

    For they met and mated and bedded and buckled and got and

gave and reared and raised and brought Thawland within Har

danger, and turned them, tarrying to the sea and planted and

plundered and pawned our souls and pillaged the pounds of the

extramurals and fought and feigned with strained relations and

bequeathed us their ills and recrutched cripples gait and under-

mined lungachers, manplanting seven sisters while wan warm-

wooed woman scrubbs, and turned out coats and removed their

origins and never learned the first day's lesson and tried to

mingle and managed to save and feathered foes' nests and fouled

 

 

---

 

580

 

their own and wayleft the arenotts and ponted vodavalls for the

zollgebordened and escaped from liquidation by the heirs of their

death and were responsible for congested districts and rolled

olled logs into Peter's sawyery and werfed new woodcuts on

Paoli's wharf and ewesed Rachel's lea and rammed Dominic's

gap and looked haggards after lazatables and rode fourscore odd-

winters and struck rock oil and forced a policeman and col-

laughsed at their phizes in Toobiassed and Zachary and left off

leaving off and kept on keeping on and roused up drink and

poured balm down and were cuffed by their customers and bit

the dust at the foot of the poll when in her deergarth he gave up

his goat after the battle of Multaferry. Pharoah with fairy, two

lie, let them! Yet they wend it back, qual his leif, himmertality,

bullseaboob and rivishy divil, light in hand, helm on high, to

peekaboo durk the thicket of slumbwhere, till their hour with

their scene be struck for ever and the book of the dates he close,

he clasp and she and she seegn her tour d'adieu, Pervinca calling,

Soloscar hears. (O Sheem! O Shaam!), and gentle Isad Ysut gag,

flispering in the nightleaves flattery, dinsiduously, to Finnegan,

to sin again and to make grim grandma grunt and grin again

while the first grey streaks steal silvering by for to mock their

quarrels in dollymount tumbling.

    They near the base of the chill stair, that large incorporate

licensed vintner, such as he is, from former times, nine hosts in

himself, in his hydrocomic establishment and his ambling limfy

peepingpartner, the slave of the ring that worries the hand that

sways the lamp that shadows the walk that bends to his bane the

busynext man that came on the cop with the fenian's bark that

pickled his widow that primed the pope that passed it round on

the volunteers' plate till it croppied the ears of Purses Relle that

kneed O'Connell up out of his doss that shouldered Burke that

butted O'Hara that woke the busker that grattaned his crowd

that bucked the jiggers to rhyme the rann that flooded the routes

in Eryan's isles from Malin to Clear and Carnsore Point to Slyna-

gollow and cleaned the pockets and ransomed the ribs of all the

listeners, leud and lay, that bought the ballad that Hosty made.

 

 

---

 

581

 

    Anyhow (the matter is a troublous and a peniloose) have they

not called him at many's their mock indignation meeting, veh-

men's vengeance vective volleying, inwader and uitlander, the

notables, crashing libels in their sullivan's mounted beards about

him, their right renownsable patriarch? Heinz cans everywhere

and the swanee her ainsell and Eyrewaker's family sock that they

smuggled to life betune them, roaring (Big Reilly was the worst):

free boose for the man from the nark, sure, he never was worth

a cornerwall fark, and his banishee's bedpan she's a quareold bite

of a tark: as they wendelled their zingaway wivewards from his

find me cool's moist opulent vinery, highjacking through the

nagginneck pass, as they hauled home with their hogsheads,

axpoxtelating, and claiming cowled consollation, sursumcordial,

from the bluefunkfires of the dipper and the martian's frost?

    Use they not, our noesmall termtraders, to abhors offrom

him, the yet unregendered thunderslog, whose sbrogue cunneth

none lordmade undersiding, how betwixt wifely rule and mens

conscia recti, then hemale man all unbracing to omniwomen, but

now shedropping his hitches like any maidavale oppersite orse-

riders in an idinhole? Ah, dearo! Dearo, dear! And her illian!

And his willyum! When they were all there now, matinmarked

for lookin on. At the carryfour with awlus plawshus, their happy-

ass cloudious! And then and too the trivials! And their bivouac!

And his monomyth! Ah ho! Say no more about it! I'm sorry!

I saw. I'm sorry! I'm sorry to say I saw!

    Gives there not too amongst us after all events (or so grunts

a leading hebdromadary) some togethergush of stillandbutall-

youknow that, insofarforth as, all up and down the whole con-

creation say, efficient first gets there finally every time, as a com-

plex matter of pure form, for those excess and that pasphault

hardhearingness from their eldfar, in grippes and rumblions,

through fresh taint and old treason, another like that alter but

not quite such anander and stillandbut one not all the selfsame

and butstillone just the maim and encore emmerhim may always,

with a little difference, till the latest up to date so early in the

morning, have evertheless been allmade amenable?

 

 

---

 

582

 

    Yet he begottom.

    Let us wherefore, tearing ages, presently preposterose a

snatchvote of thanksalot to the huskiest coaxing experimenter

that ever gave his best hand into chancerisk, wishing him with

his famblings no end of slow poison and a mighty broad venue

for themselves between the devil's punchbowl and the deep

angleseaboard, that they may gratefully turn a deaf ear clooshed

upon the desperanto of willynully, their shareholders from Taaffe

to Auliffe, that will curse them below par and mar with their

descendants, shame, humbug and profit, to greenmould upon

mildew over jaundice as long as ever there's wagtail surtaxed to

a testcase on enver a man.

    We have to had them whether we'll like it or not. They'll have

to have us now then we're here on theirspot. Scant hope theirs

or ours to escape life's high carnage of semperidentity by sub-

sisting peasemeal upon variables. Bloody certainly have we got

to see to it ere smellful demise surprends us on this concrete that

down the gullies of the eras we may catch ourselves looking

forward to what will in no time be staring you larrikins on the

postface in that multimirror megaron of returningties, whirled

without end to end. So there was a raughty . . . who in Dyfflins-

borg did . . . With his soddering iron, spadeaway, hammerlegs

and . . . Where there was a fair young . . . Who was playing her

game of . . . And said she you rockaby . . . Will you peddle in

my bog . . . And he sod her in Iarland, paved her way from

Maizenhead to Youghal. And that's how Humpfrey, champion

emir, holds his own. Shysweet, she rests.

    Or show pon him now, will you! Derg rudd face should take

patrick's purge. Hokoway, in his hiphigh bearserk! Third posi-

tion of concord! Excellent view from front. Sidome. Female

imperfectly masking male. Redspot his browbrand. Woman's

the prey! Thon's the dullakeykongsbyogblagroggerswagginline

(private judgers, change here for Lootherstown! Onlyromans,

keep your seats!) that drew all ladies please to our great mettroll-

ops. Leary, leary, twentytun nearly, he's plotting kings down

for his villa's extension! Gaze at him now in momentum! As his

 

 

---

 

583

 

bridges are blown to babbyrags, by the lee of his hulk upright

on her orbits, and the heave of his juniper arx in action, he's

naval I see. Poor little tartanelle, her dinties are chattering, the

strait's she's in, the bulloge she bears! Her smirk is smeeching

behind for her hills. By the queer quick twist of her mobcap and

the lift of her shift at random and the rate of her gate of going

the pace, two thinks at a time, her country I'm proud of. The

field is down, the race is their own. The galleonman jovial on his

bucky brown nightmare. Bigrob dignagging his lylyputtana.

One to one bore one! The datter, io, io, sleeps in peace, in peace.

And the twillingsons, ganymede, garrymore, turn in trot and

trot. But old pairamere goes it a gallop, a gallop. Bossford and

phospherine. One to one on!

    O, O, her fairy setalite! Casting such shadows to Persia's

blind! The man in the street can see the coming event. Photo-

flashing it far too wide. It will be known through all Urania soon.

Like jealousjoy titaning fear; like rumour rhean round the planets;

like china's dragon snapping japets; like rhodagrey up the east.

Satyrdaysboost besets Phoebe's nearest. Here's the flood and the

flaxen flood that's to come over helpless Irryland. Is there no-one

to malahide Liv and her bettyship? Or who'll buy her rosebuds,

jettyblack rosebuds, ninsloes of nivia, nonpaps of nan? From the

fall of the fig to doom's last post every ephemeral anniversary while

the park's police peels peering by for to weight down morrals from

county bubblin. That trainer's trundling! Quick, pay up!

    Kickakick. She had to kick a laugh. At her old stick-in-the-

block. The way he was slogging his paunch about, elbiduubled,

meet oft mate on, like hale King Willow, the robberer. Cain-

maker's mace and waxened capapee. But the tarrant's brand on

his hottoweyt brow. At half past quick in the morning. And her

lamp was all askew and a trumbly wick-in-her, ringeysingey.

She had to spofforth, she had to kicker, too thick of the wick

of her pixy's loomph, wide lickering jessup the smooky shiminey.

And her duffed coverpoint of a wickedy batter, whenever she

druv behind her stumps for a tyddlesly wink through his tunnil-

clefft bagslops after the rising bounder's yorkers, as he studd and

 

 

---

 

584

 

stoddard and trutted and trumpered, to see had lordherry's

blackham's red bobby abbels, it tickled her innings to consort

pitch at kicksolock in the morm. Tipatonguing him on in her

pigeony linguish, with a flick at the bails for lubrication, to scorch

her faster, faster. Ye hek, ye hok, ye hucky hiremonger! Magrath

he's my pegger, he is, for bricking up all my old kent road.

He'll win your toss, flog your old tom's bowling and I darr ye,

barrackybuller, to break his duck! He's posh. I lob him. We're

parring all Oogster till the empsyseas run googlie. Declare to

ashes and teste his metch! Three for two will do for me and he

for thee and she for you. Goeasyosey, for the grace of the fields,

or hooley pooley, cuppy, we'll both be bye and by caught in the

slips for fear he'd tyre and burst his dunlops and waken her

bornybarnies making his boobybabies. The game old merri-

mynn, square to leg, with his lolleywide towelhat and his hobbsy

socks and his wisden's bosse and his norsery pinafore and his

gentleman's grip and his playaboy's plunge and his flannelly

feelyfooling, treading her hump and hambledown like a maiden

wellheld, ovalled over, with her crease where the pads of her

punishments ought to be by womanish rights when, keek, the hen

in the doran's shantyqueer began in a kikkery key to laugh it

off, yeigh, yeigh, neigh, neigh, the way she was wuck to doodle-

doo by her gallows bird (how's that? Noball, he carries his bat!)

nine hundred and dirty too not out, at all times long past con-

quering cock of the morgans.

    How blame us?

    Cocorico!

    Armigerend everfasting horde. Rico! So the bill to the bowe.

As the belle to the beau. We herewith pleased returned auditors'

thanks for those and their favours since safely enjoined. Coco-

ree! Tellaman tillamie. Tubbernacul in tipherairy, sons, travel-

lers in company and their carriageable tochters, tanks tight anne

thynne for her contractations tugowards his personeel. Echo,

choree chorecho! O I you O you me! Well, we all unite thought-

fully in rendering gratias, well, between loves repassed, begging

your honour's pardon for, well, exclusive pigtorial rights of here-

 

 

---

 

585

 

hear fond tiplady his weekreations, appearing in next eon's issue

of the Neptune's Centinel and Tritonville Lightowler with well

the widest circulation round the whole universe. Echolo choree

choroh choree chorico! How me O my youhou my I youtou to

I O? Thanks furthermore to modest Miss Glimglow and neat

Master Mettresson who so kindly profiteered their serwishes as

demysell of honour and, well, as strainbearer respectively.

And a cordiallest brief nod of chinchin dankyshin to, well, patient

ringasend as prevenient (by your leave), to all such occasions,

detachably replaceable (thanks too! twos intact!). As well as

his auricular of Malthus, the promethean paratonnerwetter which

first (Pray go! pray go!) taught love's lightning the way (pity

shown) to, well, conduct itself (mercy, good shot! only please

don't mention it!). Come all ye goatfathers and groanmothers,

come all ye markmakers and piledrivers, come all ye labour-

saving devisers and chargeleyden dividends, firefinders, water-

workers, deeply condeal with him! All that is still life with death

inyeborn, all verbumsaps yet bound to be, to do and to suffer,

every creature, everywhere, if you please, kindly feel for her!

While the dapplegray dawn drags nearing nigh for to wake all

droners that drowse in Dublin.

    Humperfeldt and Anunska, wedded now evermore in annas-

tomoses by a ground plan of the placehunter, whiskered beau

and donahbella. Totumvir and esquimeena, who so shall sepa-

rate fetters to new desire, repeals an act of union to unite in

bonds of schismacy. O yes! O yes! Withdraw your member!

Closure. This chamber stands abjourned. Such precedent is

largely a cause to lack of collective continencies among Don-

nelly's orchard as lifelong the shadyside to Fairbrother's field.

Humbo, lock your kekkle up! Anny, blow your wickle out!

Tuck away the tablesheet! You never wet the tea! And you

may go rightoway back to your Aunty Dilluvia, Humprey,

after that!

    Retire to rest without first misturbing your nighboor, man-

kind of baffling descriptions. Others are as tired of themselves

as you are. Let each one learn to bore himself. It is strictly re-

 

 

---

 

586

 

quested that no cobsmoking, spitting, pubchat, wrastle rounds,

coarse courting, smut, etc, will take place amongst those hours

so devoted to repose. Look before behind before you strip you.

Disrobe clothed in the strictest secrecy which privacy can afford.

Water non to be discharged coram grate or ex window. Never

divorce in the bedding the glove that will give you away. Maid

Maud ninnies nay but blabs to Omama (for your life, would you!)

she to her bosom friend who does all chores (and what do you

think my Madeleine saw?): this ignorant mostly sweeps it out

along with all the rather old corporators (have you heard of one

humbledown jungleman how he bet byrn-and-bushe playing

peg and pom?): the maudlin river then gets its dues (adding a

din a ding or do): thence those laundresses (O, muddle me more

about the maggies! I mean bawnee Madge Ellis and brownie

Mag Dillon). Attention at all! Every ditcher's dastard in Dupling

will let us know about it if you have paid the mulctman by

whether your rent is open to be foreclosed or aback in your

arrears. This is seriously meant. Here is a homelet not a hothel.

    That's right, old oldun!

    All in fact is soon as all of old right as anywas ever in very

old place. Were he, hwen scalded of that couverfowl, to beat the

bounds by here at such a point of time as this is for at sammel

up all wood's haypence and riviers argent (half back from three

gangs multaplussed on a twentylot add allto a fiver with the

deuce or roamer's numbers ell a fee and do little ones) with the

caboosh on him opheld for thrushes' mistiles yet singing oud his

parasangs in cornish token: mean fawthery eastend appullcelery,

old laddy he high hole: pollysigh patrolman Seekersenn, towney's

tanquam, crumlin quiet down from his hoonger, he would mac

siccar of inket goodsforetombed ereshiningem of light turkling

eitheranny of thuncle's windopes. More, unless we were neverso

wrongtaken, if he brought his boots to pause in peace, the one

beside the other one, right on the road, he would seize no sound

from cache or cave beyond the flow of wand was gypsing water,

telling him now, telling him all, all about ham and livery, stay

and toast ham in livery, and buttermore with murmurladen, to

 

 

---

 

587

 

waker oats for him on livery. Faurore! Fearhoure! At last it

past! Loab at cod then herrin or wind thin mong them treen.

    Hiss! Which we had only our hazelight to see with, cert, in

our point of view, me and my auxy, Jimmy d'Arcy, hadn't we,

Jimmy? —  Who to seen with? Kiss! No kidd, captn, which he

stood us, three jolly postboys, first a couple of Mountjoys and

nutty woodbines with his cadbully's choculars, pepped from our

Theoatre Regal's drolleries puntomine, in the snug at the Cam-

bridge Arms of Teddy Ales while we was laying, crown jewels

to a peanut, was he stepmarm, old noseheavy, or a wouldower,

which he said, lads, a taking low his Whitby hat, lopping off the

froth and whishing, with all respectfulness to the old country,

tomorow comrades, we, his long life's strength and cuirscrween

loan to our allhallowed king, the pitchur that he's turned to

weld the wall, (Lawd lengthen him!) his standpoint was,

to belt and blucher him afore the hole pleading churchal and

submarine bar yonder but he made no class at all in port

and cemented palships between our trucers, being a refugee,

didn't he, Jimmy? —  Who true to me? Sish! Honeysuckler,

that's what my young lady here, Fred Watkins, bugler Fred, all

the ways from Melmoth in Natal, she calls him, dip the colours,

pet, when he commit his certain questions vivaviz the secret

empire of the snake which it was on a point of our sutton down,

how was it, Jimmy? —  Who has sinnerettes to declare? Phiss!

Touching our Phoenix Rangers' nuisance at the meeting of the

waitresses, the daintylines, Elsies from Chelsies, the two leggle-

gels in blooms, and those pest of parkies, twitch, thistle and

charlock, were they for giving up their fogging trespasses

by order which we foregathered he must be raw in cane

sugar, the party, no, Jimmy MacCawthelock? Who trespass

against me? Briss! That's him wiv his wig on, achewing of his

maple gum, that's our grainpopaw, Mister Beardall, an accom-

pliced burgomaster, a great one among the very greatest, which

he told us privates out of his own scented mouf he used to was,

my lads, afore this wineact come, what say, our Jimmy the

chapelgoer? —  Who fears all masters! Hi, Jocko Nowlong, my

 

 

---

 

588

 

own sweet boosy love, which he puts his feeler to me behind

the beggar's bush, does Freda, don't you be an emugee! Carry-

one, he says, though we marooned through this woylde. We

must spy a half a hind on honeysuckler now his old face's

hardalone wiv his defences down during his wappin stillstand,

says my Fred, and Jamessime here which, pip it, she simply must,

she says, our pet, she'll do a retroussy from her point of view

(Way you fly! Like a frush!) to keep her flouncies off the

grass while paying the wetmenots a musichall visit and pair her

fiefighs fore him with just one curl after the cad came back which

we fought he wars a gunner and his corkiness lay up two bottles

of joy with a shandy had by Fred and a fino oloroso which he

was warming to, my right, Jimmy, my old brown freer? — 

Whose dolour, O so mine!

    Following idly up to seepoint, neath kingmount shadow the

ilk for eke of us, whose nathem's banned, whose hofd a-hooded,

welkim warsail, how di' you dew? Hollymerry, ivysad, whicher

and whoer, Mr Black Atkins and you tanapanny troopertwos,

were you there? Was truce of snow, moonmounded snow? Or

did wolken hang o'er earth in umber hue his fulmenbomb?

Number two coming! Full inside! Was glimpsed the mean

amount of cloud? Or did pitter rain fall in a sprinkling? If the

waters could speak as they flow! Timgle Tom, pall the bell!

Izzy's busy down the dell! Mizpah low, youyou, number

one, in deep humidity! Listen, misled peerless, please! You

are of course. You miss him so, to listleto! Of course, my

pledge between us, there's no-one Noel like him here to

hear. Esch so eschess, douls a doulse! Since Allan Rogue

loved Arrah Pogue it's all Killdoughall fair. Triss! Only trees

such as these such were those, waving there, the barketree, the

o'briertree, the rowantree, the o'corneltree, the behanshrub near

windy arbour, the magill o'dendron more. Trem! All the trees

in the wood they trembold, humbild, when they heard the stop-

press from domday's erewold.

    Tiss! Two pretty mistletots ribboned to a tree, up rose libe-

rator and, fancy, they were free! Four witty missywives, wink-

 

 

---

 

589

 

ing under hoods, made lasses like lads love maypoleriding and

dotted our green with tricksome couples, fiftyfifty, their chil-

tren's hundred. So childish pence took care of parents' pounds

and many made money the way in the world where rushroads

to riches crossed slums of lice and, the cause of it all, he forged

himself ahead like a blazing urbanorb, brewing treble to drown

grief, giving and taking mayom and tuam, playing milliards with

his three golden balls, making party capital out of landed self-

interest, light on a slavey but weighty on the bourse, our hugest

commercial emporialist, with his sons booing home from afar

and his daughters bridling up at his side. Finner!

    How did he bank it up, swank it up, the whaler in the punt,

a guinea by a groat, his index on the balance and such wealth

into the bargain, with the boguey which he snatched in the

baggage coach ahead? Going forth on the prowl, master jackill,

under night and creeping back, dog to hide, over morning.

Humbly to fall and cheaply to rise, exposition of failures.

Through Duffy's blunders and MacKenna's insurance for upper

ten and lower five the band played on. As one generation tells

another. Ofter the fall. First for a change of a seven days license

he wandered out of his farmer's health and so lost his early

parishlife. Then ('twas in fenland) occidentally of a sudden, six

junelooking flamefaces straggled wild out of their turns through

his parsonfired wicket, showing all shapes of striplings in sleepless

tights. Promptly whomafter in undated times, very properly a

dozen generations anterior to themselves, a main chanced to burst

and misflooded his fortunes, wrothing foulplay over his fives'

court and his fine poultryyard wherein were spared a just two of

a feather in wading room only. Next, upon due reflotation, up

started four hurrigan gales to smithereen his plateglass house-

walls and the slate for accounts his keeper was cooking. Then

came three boy buglehorners who counterbezzled and cross-

bugled him. Later on in the same evening two hussites ab-

sconded through a breach in his bylaws and left him, the infidels,

to pay himself off in kind remembrances. Till, ultimatehim, fell

the crowning barleystraw, when an explosium of his distilleries

 

 

---

 

590

 

deafadumped all his dry goods to his most favoured sinflute and

dropped him, what remains of a heptark, leareyed and letterish,

weeping worrybound on his bankrump.

    Pepep. Pay bearer, sure and sorry, at foot of ohoho honest

policist. On never again, by Phoenis, swore on him Lloyd's,

not for beaten wheat, not after Sir Joe Meade's father, thanks!

They know him, the covenanter, by rote at least, for a chameleon

at last, in his true falseheaven colours from ultraviolent to subred

tissues. That's his last tryon to march through the grand

tryomphal arch. His reignbolt's shot. Never again! How you do

that like, Mista Chimepiece? You got nice yum plemyums. Pray-

paid my promishles!

    Agreed, Wu Welsher, he was chogfulled to beacsate on earn

as in hiving, of foxold conningnesses but who, hey honey, for

all values of his latters, integer integerrimost, was the formast

of the firm? At folkmood hailed, at part farwailed, accwmwladed

concloud, Nuah-Nuah, Nebob of Nephilim! After all what fol-

lowed for apprentice sake? Since the now nighs nearing as the

yetst hies hin. Jeebies, ugh, kek, ptah, that was an ill man! Jaw-

boose, puddigood, this is for true a sweetish mand! But Jum-

bluffer, bagdad, sir, yond would be for a once over our all

honoured christmastyde easteredman. Fourth position of solu-

tion. How johnny! Finest view from horizon. Tableau final.

Two me see. Male and female unmask we hem. Begum by gunne!

Who now broothes oldbrawn. Dawn! The nape of his name-

shielder's scalp. Halp! After having drummed all he dun. Hun!

Worked out to an inch of his core. More! Ring down. While

the queenbee he staggerhorned blesses her bliss for to feel her

funnyman's functions Tag. Rumbling.

    Tiers, tiers and tiers. Rounds.