James Joyce


Book 3

chapter 3

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     Lowly, longly, a wail went forth. Pure Yawn lay low. On the
mead of the hillock lay, heartsoul dormant mid shadowed land-
shape, brief wallet to his side, and arm loose, by his staff of citron
briar, tradition stick-pass-on. His dream monologue was over,
of cause, but his drama parapolylogic had yet to be, affact. Most
distressfully (but, my dear, how successfully!) to wail he did,
his locks of a lucan tinge, quickrich, ripely rippling, unfilleted,
those lashbetasselled lids on the verge of closing time, whiles
ouze of his sidewiseopen mouth the breath of him, evenso
languishing as the princeliest treble treacle or lichee chewchow
purse could buy. Yawn in a semiswoon lay awailing and (hooh!)
what helpings of honeyful swoothead (phew!), which ear-
piercing dulcitude! As were you suppose to go and push with
your bluntblank pin in hand upinto his fleshasplush cushionettes
of some chubby boybold love of an angel. Hwoah!
    When, as the buzzer brings the light brigade, keeping the
home fires burning, so on the churring call themselves came at
him, from the westborders of the eastmidlands, three kings of
three suits and a crowner, from all their cardinal parts, along
the amber way where Brosna's furzy. To lift them they did,
senators four, by the first quaint skreek of the gloaming and
they hopped it up the mountainy molehill, traversing climes
of old times gone by of the days not worth remembering;
inventing some excusethems, any sort, having a sevenply


sweat of night blues moist upon them. Feefee! phopho!!
foorchtha!!! aggala!!!! jeeshee!!!!! paloola!!!!!! ooridiminy!!!!!!!
Afeared themselves were to wonder at the class of a crossroads
puzzler he would likely be, length by breadth nonplussing his
thickness, ells upon ells of him, making so many square yards of
him, one half of him in Conn's half but the whole of him never-
theless in Owenmore's five quarters. There would he lay till
they would him descry, spancelled down upon a blossomy bed, at
one foule stretch, amongst the daffydowndillies, the flowers of
narcosis fourfettering his footlights, a halohedge of wild spuds
hovering over him, epicures waltzing with gardenfillers, puritan
shoots advancing to Aran chiefs. Phopho!! The meteor pulp
of him, the seamless rainbowpeel. Aggala!!!! His bellyvoid of
nebulose with his neverstop navel. Paloola!!!!!! And his veins
shooting melanite phosphor, his creamtocustard cometshair and
his asteroid knuckles, ribs and members. Ooridiminy!!!!!!! His
electrolatiginous twisted entrails belt.
    Those four claymen clomb together to hold their sworn star-
chamber quiry on him. For he was ever their quarrel, the way
they would see themselves, everybug his bodiment atop of
annywom her notion, and the meet of their noght was worth two
of his morning. Up to the esker ridge it was, Mallinger parish, to a
mead that was not far, the son's rest. First klettered Shanator
Gregory, seeking spoor through the deep timefield, Shanator
Lyons, trailing the wavy line of his partition footsteps (some-
thing in his blisters was telling him all along how he had
been in that place one time), then his Recordership, Dr Shuna-
dure Tarpey, caperchasing after honourable sleep, hot on to the
aniseed and, up out of his prompt corner, old Shunny MacShunny,
MacDougal the hiker, in the rere of them on the run, to make a
quorum. Roping their ass he was, their skygrey globetrotter,
by way of an afterthought and by no means legless either for
such sprouts on him they were that much oneven it was tumbling
he was by four lengths, within the bawl of a mascot, kuss yuss,
kuss cley, patsy watsy, like the kapr in the kabisses, the big ass,
to hear with his unaided ears the harp in the air, the bugle



dianablowing, wild as wild, the mockingbird whose word is
misfortune, so 'tis said, the bulbul down the wind.
    The proto was traipsing through the tangle then, Mathew
Walker, godsons' goddestfar, deputising for gossipocracy,
and his station was a few perch to the weatherside of the
knoll Asnoch and it was from no other place unless there, how
and ever, that he proxtended aloof upon the ether Mesmer's
Manuum, the hand making silence. The buckos beyond on the lea,
then stopped wheresoever they found their standings and that way
they set ward about him, doing obedience, nod, bend, bow and
curtsey, like the watchers of Prospect, upholding their broad-
awake prober's hats on their firrum heads, the travelling court on
its findings circuiting that personer in his fallen. And a crack quat-
youare of stenoggers they made of themselves, solons and psy-
chomorers, all told, with their hurts and daimons, spites and
clops, not even to the seclusion of their beast by them that was
the odd trick of the pack, trump and no friend of carrots. And,
what do you think, who should be laying there above all other
persons forenenst them only Yawn! All of asprawl he was laying
too amengst the poppies and, I can tell you something more than
that, drear writer, profoundly as you may bedeave to it, he was
oscasleep asleep. And it was far more similar to a satrap he lay there
with unctuous beauty all surrounded, the poser, or for whatall I
know like Lord Lumen, coaching his preferred constellations in
faith and doctrine, for old Matt Gregory, 'tis he had the starmenag-
erie, Marcus Lyons and Lucas Metcalfe Tarpey and the mack
that never forgave the ass that lurked behind him, Jonny na
    More than their good share of their five senses ensorcelled
you would say themselves were, fuming censor, the way they
could not rightly tell their heels from their stools as they cooched
down a mamalujo by his cubical crib, as question time drew
nighing and the map of the souls' groupography rose in relief
within their quarterings, to play tops or kites or hoops or marbles,
curchycurchy, gawking on him, for the issuance of his pnum and
softnoising one of them to another one, the boguaqueesthers.



And it is what they began to say to him tetrahedrally then, the
masters, what way was he.
     He's giving, the wee bairn. Yun has lived.
     Yerra, why dat, my leader?
     Wisha, is he boosed or what, alannah?
     Or his wind's from the wrong cut, says Ned of the Hill.
     Why so and speak up, do you hear me, you sir?
     Or he's rehearsing somewan's funeral.
     Whisht outathat! Hubba's up!
    And as they were spreading abroad on their octopuds their
drifter nets, the chromous gleamy seiners' nets and, no lie, there was
word of assonance being softspoken among those quartermasters.
     Get busy, kid!
     Chirpy, come now!
     The present hospices is a good time.
     I'll take on that chap.
    For it was in the back of their mind's ear, temptive lissomer,
how they would be spreading in quadriliberal their azurespotted
fine attractable nets, their nansen nets, from Matt Senior to the
thurrible mystagogue after him and from thence to the neighbour
and that way to the puisny donkeyman and his crucifer's cauda.
And in their minds years backslibris, so it was, slipping beauty,
how they would be meshing that way, when he rose to it, with
the planckton at play about him, the quivers of scaly silver and
their clutches of chromes of the highly lucid spanishing gold
whilst, as hour gave way to mazing hour, with Yawn himself
keeping time with his thripthongue, to ope his blurbeous lips he
would, a let out classy, the way myrrh of the moor and molten
moonmist would be melding mellifond indo his mouth.
     Before You!
     Ecko! How sweet thee answer makes! Afterwheres? In the
land of lions' odor?
     Friends! First if yu don't mind. Name yur historical grouns.
     This same prehistoric barrow 'tis, the orangery.




     I see. Very good now. It is in your orangery, I take it, you
have your letters. Can you hear here me, you sir?
     Throsends. For my darling. Typette!
     So long aforetime? Can you hear better?
     Millions. For godsends. For my darling dearling one.
     Now, to come nearer zone; I would like to raise my
deuterous point audibly touching this. There is this maggers.
I am told by our interpreter, Hanner Esellus, that there are fully
six hundred and six ragwords in your malherbal Magis lande-
guage in which wald wand rimes alpman and there is resin in all
roots for monarch but yav hace not one pronouncable teerm that
blows in all the vallums of tartallaght to signify majestate, even
provisionally, nor no rheda rhoda or torpentine path or halluci-
nian via nor aurellian gape nor sunkin rut nor grossgrown trek
nor crimeslaved cruxway and no moorhens cry or mooner's
plankgang there to lead us to hopenhaven. Is such the unde deri-
vatur casematter messio! Frankly. Magis megis enerretur mynus
hoc intelligow.
     How? C'est mal prononsable, tartagliano, perfrances. Vous
n'avez pas d'o dans votre boche provenciale, mousoo. Je m'in-
cline mais Moy jay trouvay la clee dang les champs. Hay sham nap
poddy velour, come on!
     Hep there! Commong, sa na pa de valure? Whu's teit dans
yur jambs? Whur's that inclining and talkin about the messiah
so cloover? A true's to your trefling! Whure yu!
     Trinathan partnick dieudonnay. Have you seen her?
Typette, my tactile O!
     Are you in your fatherick, lonely one?
     The same. Three persons. Have you seen my darling only
one? I am sohohold!
     What are yu shevering about, ultramontane, like a houn?
Is there cold on ye, doraphobian? Or do yu want yur primafairy
     The woods of fogloot! O mis padredges!
     Whisht awhile, greyleg! The duck is rising and you'll wake
that stand of plover. I know that place better than anyone. Sure,




I used to be always overthere on the fourth day at my grand-
mother's place, Tear-nan-Ogre, my little grey home in the west,
in or about Mayo when the long dog gave tongue and they
coursing the marches and they straining at the leash. Tortoise-
shell for a guineagould! Burb! Burb! Burb! Follow me up
Tucurlugh! That's the place for the claire oysters, Polldoody,
County Conway. I never knew how rich I was like another story in
the zoedone of the zephyros, strolling and strolling, carrying my
dragoman, Meads Marvel, thass withumpronouceable tail, along
the shore. Do you know my cousin, Mr Jasper Dougal that
keeps the Anchor on the Mountain, the parson's son, Jasper of
the Tuns, Pat Whateveryournameis?
     Dood and I dood. The wolves of Fochlut! By Whydoyou-
callme? Do not flingamejig to the twolves!
     Turcafiera amd that's a good wan right enough! Wooluvs
no less!
     One moment now, if I foreshorten the bloss on your
bleather. Encroachement spells erosion. Dunlin and turnstone
augur us where, how and when best as to burial of carcass, fuse-
lage of dump and committal of noisance. But, since you invocate
austers for the trailing of vixens, I would like to send a cormo-
rant around this blue lagoon. Tell me now this. You told my
larned friend rather previously, a moment since, about this mound
or barrow. Now I suggest to you that ere there was this plague-
burrow, as you seem to call it, there was a burialbattell, the boat
of millions of years. Would you bear me out in that, relatively
speaking, with her jackstaff jerking at her pennyladders, why
not, and sizing a fair sail, knowest thout the kind? The Pourquoi
Pas, bound for Weissduwasland, that fourmaster barquentine,
Webster says, our ship that ne're returned. The Frenchman, I say,
was an orangeboat. He is a boat. You see him. The both how
you see is they! Draken af Danemork! Sacked it or ate it? What!
Hennu! Spake ab laut!
     Couch, cortege, ringbarrow, dungcairn. Beseek the runes
and see the longurn! Allmaun away when you hear the gang-
horn. And meet Nautsen. Ess Ess. O ess. Warum night! Con-




ning two lay payees. Norsker. Her raven flag was out, the
slaver. I trow pon good, jordan's scaper, good's barnet and
trustyman. Crouch low, you pigeons three! Say, call that girl with
the tan tress awn! Call Wolfhound! Wolf of the sea. Folchu!
     Very good now. That folklore's straight from the ass his
mouth. I will crusade on with the parent ship, weather prophet-
ting, far away from those green hills, a station, Ireton tells me,
bonofide for keeltappers, now to come to the midnight middy
on this levantine ponenter. From Daneland sailed the oxeyed
man, now mark well what I say.
     Magnus Spadebeard, korsets krosser, welsher perfyddye.
A destroyer in our port. Signed to me with his baling scoop. Laid
bare his breastpaps to give suck, to suckle me. Ecce Hagios
     Oh, Jeyses, fluid! says the poisoned well. Futtfishy the
First. Hootchcopper's enkel at the navel manuvres!
     Hep! Hello there, Bill of old Bailey! Whu's he? Whu's
this lad, why the pups?
     Hunkalus Childared Easterheld. It's his lost chance,
Emania Ware him well.
     Hey! Did you dream you were ating your own tripe,
acushla, that you tied yourself up that wrynecky fix?
     I see now. We move in the beast circuls. Grimbarb and
pancercrucer! You took the words out of my mouth. A child's
dread for a dragon vicefather. Hillcloud encompass us! You
mean you lived as milky at their lyceum, couard, while you
learned, volp volp, to howl yourself wolfwise. Dyb! Dyb! Do
your best.
     I am dob dob dobbling like old Booth's, courteous. The
cubs are after me, it zeebs, the whole totem pack, vuk vuk and
vuk vuk to them, for Robinson's shield.
     Scents and gouspils! The animal jangs again! Find the
fingall harriers! Here howl me wiseacre's hat till I die of the
milkman's lupus!
     What? Wolfgang? Whoah! Talk very slowe!




    Hail him heathen, heal him holystone!
    Courser, Recourser, Changechild ..............?
    Eld es endall, earth .....................?
     A cataleptic mithyphallic! Was this Totem Fulcrum Est
Ancestor yu hald in Dies Eirae where no spider webbeth or
Anno Mundi ere bawds plied in Skiffstrait? Be fair, Chris!
     Dream. Ona nonday I sleep. I dreamt of a somday. Of a
wonday I shall wake. Ah! May he have now of here fearfilled
me! Sinflowed, O sinflowed! Fia! Fia! Befurcht christ!
     I have your tristich now; it recurs in three times the same
differently (there is such a fui fui story which obtains of him):
comming nown from the asphalt to the concrete, from the human
historic brute, Finnsen Faynean, occeanyclived, to this same
vulganized hillsir from yours, Mr Tupling Toun of Morning
de Heights, with his lavast flow and his rambling undergroands,
would he reoccur Ad Horam, as old Romeo Rogers, in city or
county, and your sure ob, or by, with or from an urb, of you
know the differenciabus, as brauchbarred in apabhramsa, sierrah!
We speak of Gun, the farther. And in the locative. Bap! Bap!
     Ouer Tad, Hellig Babbau, whom certayn orbits assertant
re humeplace of Chivitats Ei, Smithwick, Rhonnda, Kaledon,
Salem (Mass), Childers, Argos and Duthless. Well, I am advised
he might in a sense be both nevertheless, every at man like my-
self, suffix it to say, Abrahamsk and Brookbear! By him it was
done bapka, by me it was gone into, to whom it will beblive,
Mushame, Mushame! I am afraid you could not heave ahore one
of your own old stepstones, barnabarnabarn, over a stumble-
down wall here in Huddlestown to this classic Noctuber night
but itandthey woule binge, much as vecious, off the dosshouse
back of a racerider in his truetoflesh colours, either handicapped
on her flat or barely repeating himself. That is a tiptip tim oldy
faher now the man I go in fear of, Tommy Terracotta, and he
could be all your and my das, the brodar of the founder of the
father of the finder of the pfander of the pfunder of the furst man
in Ranelagh, fuč fuč Petries and violet ice (I am yam, as Me
and Tam Tower used to jagger pemmer it, over at the house of

Eddy's Christy, meaning Dodgfather, Dodgson and Coo) and
spiriduous sanction!
     Breeze softly. Aures are aureas. Hau's his naun?
     Me das has or oreils. Piercey, piercey, piercey, piercey!
     White eyeluscious and muddyhorsebroth! Pig Pursyriley!
But where do we get off, chiseller?
     Haltstille, Lucas and Dublinn! Vulva! Vulva! Vulva!
     Macdougal, Atlantic City, or his onagrass that is, chuam
and coughan! I would go near identifying you from your stavro-
tides, Jong of Maho, and the weslarias round your yokohahat.
And that O'mulanchonry plucher you have from the worst
curst of Ireland, Glwlwd of the Mghtwg Grwpp, is no use to
you either, Johnny my donkeyschott. Number four, fix up your
spreadeagle and pull your weight!
     Hooshin hom to our regional's hin and the gander of
Hayden. Would ye ken a young stepschuler of psychical chiro-
graphy, the name of Keven, or (let outers pray) Evan Vaughan,
of his Posthorn in the High Street, that was shooing a Guiney
gagag, Poulepinter, that found the dogumen number one, I
would suggest, an illegible downfumbed by an unelgible?
     If I do know sinted sageness? Sometimes he would keep
silent for a few minutes as if in prayer and clasp his forehead and
during the time he would be thinking to himself and he would
not mind anybody who would be talking to him or crying
stinking fish. But I no way need you, stroke oar nor your quick
handles. Your too farfar a cock of the north there, Matty Armagh,
and your due south so.
     South I see. You're up-in-Leal-Ulster and I'm-free-Down-
in-Easia, this is much better. He is cured by faith who is sick of
fate. The prouts who will invent a writing there ultimately is the
poeta, still more learned, who discovered the raiding there origin-
ally. That's the point of eschatology our book of kills reaches
for now in soandso many counterpoint words. What can't be
coded can be decorded if an ear aye sieze what no eye ere grieved
for. Now, the doctrine obtains, we have occasioning cause caus-




ing effects and affects occasionally recausing altereffects. Or I
will let me take it upon myself to suggest to twist the penman's
tale posterwise. The gist is the gist of Shaum but the hand is
the hand of Sameas. Shan - Shim - Schung. There is a strong
suspicion on counterfeit Kevin and we all remember ye in child-
hood's reverye. 'Tis the bells of scandal that gave tune to
grumble over him and someone between me and thee. He would
preach to the two turkies and dipdip all the dindians, this master
the abbey, and give gold tidings to all that are in the bonze age
of anteproresurrectionism to entrust their easter neappearance
to Borsaiolini's house of hatcraft. He is our sent on the firm.
Now, have you reasonable hesitancy in your mind about him
after fourpriest redmass or are you in your post? Tell me andat
sans dismay. Leap, pard!
     Fierappel putting years on me! Nwo, nwo! This bolt in
hand be my worder! I'll see you moved farther, blarneying
Marcantonio! What cans such wretch to say to I or how have My
to doom with him? We were wombful of mischief and initium-
wise, everliking a liked, hairytop on heeltipper, alpybecca's un-
wachsibles, an ikeson am ikeson, that babe, imprincipially, my
leperd brethern, the Puer, ens innocens of but fifteen primes.
Ya all in your kalblionized so trilustriously standing the real
school, to be upright as his match, healtheous as is egg, saviour
so the salt and good wee braod, parallaling buttyr, did I alter-
mobile him to a flare insiding hogsfat. Been ike hins kinder-
gardien? I know not, O cashla, I am sure offed habitand this
undered heaven, meis enfins, contrasting the first mover, that
father I ascend fromming knows, as I think, caused whom I, a
self the sign, came remaining being dwelling ayr, plage and
watford as to I was eltered impostulance possessing my future
state falling towards thrice myself resting the childhide when
I received the habit following Mezienius connecting Mezosius
including was verted embracing a palegrim, circumcised my
hairs, Oh laud, and removed my clothes from patristic motives,
meas minimas culpads! Permitting this ick (ickle coon icoocoon)
crouched low entering humble down, dead thrue mean scato-




logical past, making so smell partaking myself to confess abiding
clean tumbluponing yous octopods, mouthspeech allno finger-
force, owning my mansuetude before him attaching Audeon's
prostratingwards mine sore accompanying my thrain tropps
offering meye eyesalt, what I (the person whomin I now am) did
not do, how he to say essied anding how he was making errand
andanding how he all locutey sunt, why did you, my sexth best
friend, blabber always you would be so delated to back me, then
ersed irredent, toppling Humphrey hugging Nephew, old begge-
laut, designing such post sitting his night office? Annexing then,
producing Saint Momuluius, you snub around enclosing your
moving motion touching the other catachumens continuing say
providing append of signature quoniam you will celebrand my
dirthdags quoniam, concealed a concealer, I am twosides uppish,
a mockbelief insulant, ending none meer hyber irish. Well, chunk
your dimned chink, before avtokinatown, forasmuch as many
have tooken in hand to, I may as well humbly correct that ves-
pian now in case of temporalities. I've my pockets full comeplay
of you laycreated cardonals, ap rince, ap rowler, ap rancer, ap
rowdey! Improperial! I saved you fore of the Hekkites and you
loosed me hind bland Harry to the burghmote of Aud Dub. I
teachet you in fair time, my elders, the W.X.Y.Z. and P.Q.R.S. of
legatine powers and you, Ailbey and Ciardeclan, I learn, episcop-
ing me altogether, circumdeditioned me. I brought you from the
loups of Lazary and you have remembered my lapsus langways.
Washywatchywataywatashy! Oirasesheorebukujibun! Wata-
cooshy lot! Mind of poison is. That time thing think! Honorific
remembrance to spit humble makes. My ruridecanal caste is a cut
above you peregrines. Aye vouchu to rumanescu. See the leabhour
of my generations! Has not my master, Theophrastius Spheropneu-
maticus, written that the spirit is from the upper circle? I'm of the
ochlocracy with Prestopher Palumbus and Porvus Parrio. Soa
koa Kelly Terry per Chelly Derry lepossette. Ho look at my
jailbrand Exquovis and sequencias High marked on me fake-
similar in the foreign by Pappagallus and Pumpusmugnus:
ahem! Anglicey: Eggs squawfish lean yoe nun feed marecurious.




Sagart can self laud nilobstant to Lowman Catlick's patrician
morning coat of arms with my High tripenniferry cresta and
caudal mottams: Itch dean: which Gaspey, Otto and Sauer, he
renders: echo stay so! Addressing eat or not eat body Yours
am. And, Mind, praisegad, is the first praisonal Egoname Yod
heard boissboissy in Moy Bog's domesday. Hastan the vista! Or
in alleman: Suck at!
     Suck it yourself, sugarstick! Misha, Yid think whose was
asking to luckat your sore toe or to taste your gaspy, hot and
sour! Ichthyan! Hegvat tosser! Gags be plebsed! Between his
voyous and her consinnantes! Thugg, Dirke and Hacker with
Rose Lankester and Blanche Yorke! Are we speachin d'anglas
landadge or are you sprakin sea Djoytsch? Oy soy, Bleseyblasey,
where to go is knowing remain? Become quantity that discourse
bothersome when what do? Knowing remain? Come back, baddy
wrily, to Bullydamestough! Cum him, buddy rowly, with me!
What about your thruppenny croucher of an old fellow, me boy,
through the ages, tell us, eh? What about Brian's the Vauntand-
onlieme, Master Monk, eh, eh, Spira in Me Domino, spear me
Doyne! Fat prize the bonafide peachumpidgeonlover, eh, eh,
eh, esquire earwugs, escusado, of Jenkins' Area, with his I've Ivy
under his tangue and the hohallo to his dullaphone, before there
was a sound in the world? How big was his boost friend and be
shanghaied to him? The swaaber! The twicer, trifoaled in Wan-
stable! Loud's curse to him! If you hored him outerly as we
harum lubberintly, from morning rice till nightmale, with his
drums and bones and hums in drones your innereer'd heerdly
heer he. Ho ha hi he hung! Tsing tsing!
     Me no angly mo, me speakee Yellman's lingas. Nicey Doc
Mistel Lu, please! Me no pigey ludiments all same numpa one
Topside Tellmastoly fella. Me pigey savvy a singasong anothel
time. Pleasie, Mista Lukie Walkie! Josadam cowbelly maam
belongame shepullamealahmalong, begolla, Jackinaboss belonga-
she; plentymuch boohoomeo.
     Hell's Confucium and the Elements! Tootoo moohootch!
Thot's never the postal cleric, checking chinchin chat with nip-




ponnippers! Halt there sob story to your lambdad's tale! Are
you roman cawthrick 432?
    Quadrigue my yoke.
    Triple my tryst.
    Tandem my sire.
     History as her is harped. Too the toone your owldfrow lied
of. Tantris, hattrick, tryst and parting, by vowelglide! I feel
your thrilljoy mouths overtspeaking, O dragoman, hands under-
studium. Plunger words what paddle verbed. Mere man's mime:
God has jest. The old order changeth and lasts like the first.
Every third man has a chink in his conscience and every other
woman has a jape in her mind. Now, fix on the little fellow in my
eye, Minucius Mandrake, and follow my little psychosinology,
poor armer in slingslang. Now I, the lord of Tuttu, am placing
that inital T square of burial jade upright to your temple a
moment. Do you see anything, templar?
     I see a blackfrinch pliestrycook . . . who is carrying on
his brainpan . . . a cathedral of lovejelly for his . . . Tiens, how
he is like somebodies!
     Pious, a pious person. What sound of tistress isoles my
ear? I horizont the same, this serpe with ramshead, and lay it
lightly to your lip a little. What do you feel, liplove?
     I feel a fine lady . . . floating on a stillstream of
isisglass . . . with gold hair to the bed . . . and white arms to the
twinklers . . . O la la!
     Purely, in a pure manner. O, sey but swift and still a vain
essaying! Trothed today, trenned tomorrow. I invert the initial
of your tripartite and sign it sternly, and adze to girdle on your
breast. What do you hear, breastplate?
     I ahear of a hopper behidin the door slappin his feet in a
pool of bran.
     Bellax, acting like a bellax. And so the triptych vision
passes. Out of a hillside into a hillside. Fairshee fading. Again
am I deliciated by the picaresqueness of your irmages. Now,
the oneir urge iterimpellant, I feel called upon to ask did it
ever occur to you, qua you, prior to this, by a stretch of




your iberborealic imagination, when it's quicker than this quack-
ing that you might, bar accidens, be very largely substituted in
potential secession from your next life by a complementary char-
acter, voices apart? Upjack! I shudder for your thought! Think!
Put from your mind that and take on trust this. The next word
depends on your answer.
     I'm thinking to, thogged be thenked! I was just trying to
think when I thought I felt a flea. I might have. I cannot say for
it is of no significance at all. Once or twice when I was in odin-
burgh with my addlefoes, Jake Jones, the handscabby, when I
thinkled I wore trying on my garden substisuit, boy's apert, at
my nexword nighboor's, and maybe more largely nor you
quosh yet you, messmate, realise. A few times, so to shape, I chanced
to be stretching, in the shadow as I thought, the liferight out
of myself in my ericulous imaginating. I felt feeling a half Scotch
and pottage like roung my middle ageing like Bewley in the
baste so that I indicate out to myself and I swear my gots how
that I'm not meself at all, no jolly fear, when I realise bimiselves
how becomingly I to be going to become.
     O, is that the way with you, you craythur? In the becom-
ing was the weared, wontnat! Hood maketh not frere. The voice
is the voice of jokeup, I fear. Are you imitation Roma now or
Amor now. You have all our empathies, eh, Mr Trickpat, if you
don't mind, that is, aside from sings and mush, answering to my
straight question?
     God save the monk! I won't mind this is, answering to
your strict crossqueets, whereas it would be as unethical for me
now to answer as it would have been nonsensical for you then
not to have asked. Same no can, home no will, gangin I am.
Gangang is Mine and I will return. Out of my name you call me,
Leelander. But in my shelter you'll miss me. When Lapac walks
backwords he's darkest horse in Capalisoot. You knew me once
but you won't know me twice. I am simpliciter arduus, ars of
the schoo, Freeday's child in loving and thieving.
     My child, know this! Some portion of that answer appears
to have been token by you from the writings of Saint Synodius,




that first liar. Let us hear, therefore, as you honour and obey the
queen, whither the indwellingness of that which shamefieth be
entwined of one or atoned of two. Let us hear, Art simplicissime!
     Dearly beloved brethren: Bruno and Nola, leymon bogholders
and stationary lifepartners off orangey Saint Nessau Street, were
explaining it avicendas all round each other ere yesterweek out
of Ibn Sen and Ipanzussch. When himupon Nola Bruno mono-
polises his egobruno most unwillingly seses by the mortal powers
alionola equal and opposite brunoipso, id est, eternally provoking
alio opposite equally as provoked as Bruno at being eternally
opposed by Nola. Poor omniboose, singalow singelearum: so
is he!
     One might hear in their beyond that lionroar in the air
again, the zoohoohoom of Felin make Call. Bruin goes to Noble,
aver who is? If is itsen? Or you mean Nolans but Volans, an
alibi, do you Mutemalice, suffering unegoistically from the singular
but positively enjoying on the plural? Dustify of that sole, you
breather! Ruemember, blither, thou must lie!
     Oyessoyess! I never dramped of prebeing a postman but
I mean in ostralian someplace, mults deeply belubdead; my
allaboy brother, Negoist Cabler, of this city, whom 'tis better
ne'er to name, my said brother, the skipgod, expulled for
looking at churches from behind, who is sender of the Hullo
Eve Cenograph in prose and worse every Allso's night. High
Brazil Brandan's Deferred, midden Erse clare language, Nought-
noughtnought nein. Assass. Dublire, per Neuropaths. Punk.
Starving today plays punk opening tomorrow two plays punk
wire splosh how two plays punk Cabler. Have you forgotten
poor Alby Sobrinos, Geoff, you blighter, identifiable by the
necessary white patch on his rear? How he went to his swilters-
land after his lungs, my sad late brother, before his coglionial
expancian? Won't you join me in a small halemerry, a bottle of
the best, for wellmet Capeler, united Irishmen, what though pre-
ferring the stranger, the coughs and the itches and the minnies
and the ratties the opulose and bilgenses, for of his was the
patriots mistaken. The heart that wast our Graw McGree!




Yet be there some who mourn him, concluding him dead,
and more there be that wait astand. His fuchs up the staires
and the ladgers in his haires, he ought to win that V.V.C.
Fullgrapce for an endupper, half muxy on his whole! Would
he were even among the lost! From ours bereft beyond be-
longs. Oremus poor fraternibus that he may yet escape the
gallews and still remain ours faithfully departed. I wronged you.
I never want to see more of bad men but I want to learn from
any on the airse, like Tass with much thanks, here's ditto, if
he lives sameplace in the antipathies of austrasia or anywhere
with my fawngest on his hooshmoney, safe and damned, or
has hopped it or who can throw any lime on the sopjack,
my fond fosther, E. Obiit Nolan, The Workings, N.S.W.,
his condition off the Venerable Jerrybuilt, not belonging to
these parts, who, I remember ham to me, when we were like
bro and sis over our castor and porridge, with his roamin I
suppose, expecting for his clarenx negus, a teetotum abstainer.
He feels he ought to be as asamed of me as me to be ashunned of
him. We were in one class of age like to two clots of egg. I am
most beholding to him, my namesick, as we sayed it in our Am-
harican, through the Doubly Telewisher. Outpassed hearts wag
short pertimes. Worndown shoes upon his feet, to whose re-
dress no tongue can tell! In his hands a boot! Spare me, do, a
copper or two and happy I'll hope you'll be! It will pleased
me behind with thanks from before and love to self and all I
remain here your truly friend. I am no scholar but I loved that
man who has africot lupps with the moonshane in his profile,
my shemblable! My freer! I call you my halfbrother because
you in your soberer otiumic moments remind me deeply of my
natural saywhen brothel in feed, hop and jollity, S. H. Devitt,
that benighted irismaimed, who is tearly belaboured by Sydney
and Alibany.
     As you sing it it's a study. That letter selfpenned to one's
other, that neverperfect everplanned?
     This nonday diary, this allnights newseryreel.
     My dear sir! In this wireless age any owl rooster can peck




up bostoons. But whoewaxed he so anquished? Was he vector
victored of victim vexed?
     Mighty sure! Way way for his wehicul! A parambolator
ram into his bagsmall when he was reading alawd, with two eco-
lites and he's been failing of that kink in his arts over sense.
     Madonagh and Chiel, idealist leading a double life! But who,
for the brilliance of brothers, is the Nolan as appearant nominally?
     Mr Nolan is pronuminally Mr Gottgab.
     I get it. By hearing his thing about a person one begins to
place him for a certain in true. You reeker, he stands pat for
you before a direct object in the feminine. I see. By maiden
sname. Now, I am earnestly asking you, and putting it as
between this yohou and that houmonymh, will just you search
through your gabgut memoirs for all of two minutes for this
impersonating pronolan, fairhead on foulshoulders. Would it be
in twofold truth an untaken mispatriate, too fullfully true and
rereally a doblinganger much about your own medium with a
sandy whiskers? Poke me nabs in the ribs and pick the erstwort
out of his mouth.
     Treble Stauter of Holy Baggot Street, formerly Sword-
meat, who I surpassed him lately for four and six bringing home
the Christmas, as heavy as music, hand to eyes on the peer for
Noel's Arch, in blessed foster's place is doing the dirty on me
with his tantrums and all these godforgiven kilowatts I'd be
better off without. She's write to him she's levt by me, Jenny
Rediviva! Toot! Detter for you, Mr Nobru. Toot toot! Better for
you, Mr Anol! This is the way we. Of a redtettetterday morning.
     When your contraman from Tuwarceathay is looking for
righting that is not a good sign? Not?
     I speak truly, it's a shower sign that it's not.
     What though it be for the sow of his heart? If even she
were a good pool Pegeen?
     If she ate your windowsill you wouldn't say sow.
     Would you be surprised after that my asking have you a
bull, a bosbully, with a whistle in his tail to scare other birds?
     I would.




     Were you with Sindy and Sandy attending Goliath, a bull?
     You'd make me sag what you like to. I was intending a
funeral. Simply and samply.
     They are too wise of solbing their silbings?
     And both croon to the same theme.
     Tugbag is Baggut's, when a crispin sokolist besoops juts
kamps or clapperclaws an irvingite offthedocks. A luckchange, I
see. Thinking young through the muddleage spread, the moral
fat his mental leans on. We can cop that with our straat that is
called corkscrewed. It would be the finest boulevard billy for a
mile in every direction, from Lismore to Cape Brendan, Patrick's,
if they took the bint out of the mittle of it. You told of a tryst
too, two a tutu. I wonder now, without releasing seeklets of the
alcove, turturs or raabraabs, have I heard mention of whose name
anywhere? Mallowlane or Demaasch? Strike us up either end
Have You Erred off Van Homper or Ebell Teresa Kane.
    Marak! Marak! Marak!
    He drapped has draraks an Mansianhase parak
    And he had ta barraw tha watarcrass shartclaths aff the ark-
bashap af Yarak!
     Braudribnob's on the bummel?
     And lillypets on the lea.
     A being again in becomings again. From the sallies to
the allies through their central power?
     Pirce! Perce! Quick! Queck!
     O Tara's thrush, the sharepusher! And he said he was only
taking the average grass temperature for green Thurdsday, the
blutchy scaliger! Who you know the musselman, his muscle
mum and mistlemam? Maomi, Mamie, My Mo Mum! He loves
a drary lane. Feel Phylliscitations to daff Mr Hairwigger who
has just hadded twinned little curls! He was resting between
horrockses' sheets, wailing for white warfare, prooboor welsht-
breton, and unbiassed by the embarrassment of disposal but, the
first woking day, by Thunder, he stepped into the breach and put
on his recriution trousers and riding apron in Baltic Bygrad, the
old soggy, was when the bold bhuoys of Iran wouldn't join up.




     How voice you that, nice Sandy man? Not large goodman
is he, Sandy nice. Ask him this one minute upthrow inner lotus
of his burly ear womit he dropped his Bass's to P flat. And for
that he was allaughed? And then baited? The whole gammat?
     Loonacied! Marterdyed!! Madwakemiherculossed!!! Ju-
dascessed!!!! Pairaskivvymenassed!!!!! Luredogged!!!!!! And,
needatellye, faulscrescendied!!!!!!!
     Dias domnas! Dolled to dolthood? And Annie Delittle,
his daintree diva, in deltic dwilights, singing him henpecked rusish
through the bars? My Wolossay's wild as the Crasnian Sea!
Grabashag, groogy, scoop and I'll cure ye! Mother of emeralds,
ara poog neighbours!
     Capilla, Rubrilla and Melcamomilla! Dauby, dauby, with-
out dulay! Well, I beg to traverse same above statement by saxy
luters in their back haul of Coalcutter what reflects upon my
administrants of slow poisoning as my dodear devere revered
mainhirr was confined to guardroom, I hindustand, by my pint
of his Filthered pilsens bottle due to Zenaphiah Holwell, H and
J. C. S, Which I was bringing up my quee parapotacarry's orders
in my sedown chair with my mudfacepacket from my cash
chemist and family drugger, Surager Dowling, V.S. to our aural
surgeon, Afamado Hairductor Achmed Borumborad, M.A.C.A,
Sahib, of a 1001 Ombrilla Street, Syringa padham, Alleypulley, to
see what was my watergood, my mesical wasserguss, for repairs
done by bollworm in the rere of pilch knickers, seven yerds to
his galandhar pole on perch, together with his for me unfillable
slopper, property of my deeply forfear revebereared, who is costing
us mostfortunes which I am writing in mepetition to Kavanagh
Djanaral, when he was sitting him humpbacked in dryfilthy-
heat to his trinidads pinslers at their orpentings, entailing a
laxative tendency to mary, especially with him being forbidden
fruit and certified by his sexular clergy to have as badazmy
emotional volvular, with a basketful of priesters crossing the
singorgeous to aroint him with tummy moor's maladies, and
thereinafter liable to succumb when served with letters potent
below the belch, if my rupee repure riputed husbandship H.R.R.




took a brief one in his shirtsails out of the alleged given mineral,
telling me see his in Foraignghistan sambat papers Sunday feac-
tures of a welcomed aperrytiff with vallad of Erill Pearcey O
he never battered one eagle's before paying me his duty on my
annaversary to the parroteyes list in my nil ensemble, in his lazy-
chair but he hidded up my hemifaces in all my mayarannies and
he locked plum into my mirrymouth like Ysamasy morning in
the end of time, with the so light's hope on his ruddycheeks and
rawjaws and, my charmer, whom I dipped my hand in, he simply
showed me his propendiculous loadpoker, Seaserpents hisses
sissastones, which was as then is produced in his mansway by
this wisest of the Vikramadityationists, with the remere remind
remure remark, in his gulughurutty: Yran for parasites with rum
for the turkeycockeys so Lithia, M.D., as this is for Snooker,
     Which was said by whem to whom?
     It wham. But whim I can't whumember.
     Fantasy! funtasy on fantasy, amnaes fintasies! And there is
nihil nuder under the clothing moon. When Ota, weewahrwificle
of Torquells, bumpsed her dumpsydiddle down in her woolsark
she mode our heuteyleutey girlery of peerlesses to set up in all
their bombossities of feudal fiertey, fanned, flounced and frangi-
panned, while the massstab whereby Ephialtes has exceeded is the
measure, simplex mendaciis, by which our Outis cuts his thruth.
Arkaway now!
     Yerds and nudes say ayes and noes! Vide! Vide!
     Let Eivin bemember for Gates of Gold for their fadeless
suns berayed her. Irise, Osirises! Be thy mouth given unto thee!
For why do you lack a link of luck to poise a pont of perfect,
peace? On the vignetto is a ragingoos. The overseer of the house
of the oversire of the seas, Nu-Men, triumphant, sayeth: Fly as
the hawk, cry as the corncrake, Ani Latch of the postern is thy
name; shout!
     My heart, my mother! My heart, my coming forth of
darkness! They know not my heart, O coolun dearast! Mon
gloomerie! Mon glamourie! What a surpraise, dear Mr Preacher,




I to hear from your strawnummical modesty! Yes, there was
that skew arch of chrome sweet home, floodlit up above the
flabberghosted farmament and bump where the camel got the
needle. Talk about iridecencies! Ruby and beryl and chrysolite,
jade, sapphire, jasper and lazul.
     Orca Bellona! Heavencry at earthcall, etnat athos? Extinct
your vulcanology for the lava of Moltens!
     It's you not me's in erupting, hecklar!
     Ophiuchus being visible above thorizon, muliercula oc-
cluded by Satarn's serpent ring system, the pisciolinnies Nova
Ardonis and Prisca Parthenopea, are a bonnies feature in the
northern sky. Ers, Mores and Merkery are surgents below the rim
of the Zenith Part while Arctura, Anatolia, Hesper and Mesembria
weep in their mansions over Noth, Haste, Soot and Waste.
     Apep and Uachet! Holy snakes, chase me charley, Eva's
got barley under her fluencies! The Ural Mount he's on the
move and he'll quivvy her with his strombolo! Waddlewurst,
the bag of tow, as broad above as he is below! Creeping
through the liongrass and bullsrusshius, the obesendean, before
the Emfang de Maurya's class, in Bill Shasser's Shotshrift writing
academy, camouflaged as a blancmange and maple syrop! Obei-
sance so their sitinins is the follicity of this Orp! Her sheik to
Slave, his dick to Dave and the fat of the land to Guygas. The
treadmill pebbledropper haha halfahead overground and she'd
only chitschats in her spanking bee bonetry, Allapolloosa! Up the
slanger! Three cheers and a heva heva for the name Dan Magraw!
     The giant sun is in his emanence but which is chief of those
white dwarfees of which he ever is surabanded? And do you think
I might have being his seventh! He will kitssle me on melbaw.
What about his age? says you. What about it? says I. I will
confess to his sins and blush me further. I would misdemean to
rebuke to the libels of snots from the fleshambles, the canalles.
Synamite is too good for them. Two overthirties in shore shor-
ties. She's askapot at Nile Lodge and she's citchincarry at the
left Mrs Hamazum's. Will you warn your old habasund, barking
at baggermen, his chokefull chewing his chain? Responsif you




plais. The said Sully, a barracker associated with tinkers, the
blackhand, Shovellyvans, wreuter of annoyimgmost letters and
skirriless ballets in Parsee Franch who is Magrath's thug and
smells cheaply of Power's spirits, like a deepsea dibbler, and he is
not fit enough to throw guts down to a bear. Sylphling me
when is a maid nought a maid he would go to anyposs length
for her! So long, Sulleyman! If they cut his nose on the stitcher
they had their siven good reasons. Here's to the leglift of my
snuff and trout stockangt henkerchoff, orange fin with a mosaic
of dispensations and a froren black patata, from my church milli-
ner. When Lynch Brother, Withworkers, Friends and Company
with T. C. King and the Warden of Galway is prepared to
stretch him sacred by the powers to the starlight, L.B.W. Hemp,
hemp, hurray! says the captain in the moonlight. I could put
him under my pallyass and slepp on him all nights as I would
roll myself for holy poly over his borrowing places. How we will
make laugh over him together, me and my Riley in the Vickar's
bed! Quink! says I. He cawls to me Granny-stream-Auborne
when I am hiding under my hair from him and I cool him my
Finnyking he's so joyant a bounder. Plunk! said he. Inasmuch
as I am delightful to be able to state, with the joy of lifing in my
forty winkers, that a handsome sovereign was freely pledged
in their pennis in the sluts maschine, alonging wath a cherry-
wickerkishabrack of maryfruit under Shadow La Rose, to both
the legintimate lady performers of display unquestionable, Elsebett
and Marryetta Gunning, H2O, by that noblesse of leechers at
his Saxontannery with motto in Wwalshe's ffrenchllatin: O'Neill
saw Queen Molly's pants: and much admired engraving, meaning
complet manly parts during alleged recent act of our chief
mergey margey magistrades, five itches above the kneecap, as
required by statues. V.I.C.5.6. If you won't release me stop to
please me up the leg of me. Now you see! Respect. S.V.P.
Your wife. Amn. Anm. Amm. Ann.
     You wish to take us, Frui Mria, by degrees, as artis litterarum-
que patrona but I am afraid, my poor woman of that same
name, what with your silvanes and your salvines, you are misled.




     Alas for livings' pledjures!
     Lordy Daw and Lady Don! Uncle Foozle and Aunty
Jack! Sure, that old humbugger was boycotted and girlcutted
in debt and doom, on hill and haven, even by the show-the-flag
flotilla, as I'm given now to understand, illscribed in all the
gratuitouses and conspued in the takeyourhandaways. Bumbty,
tumbty, Sot on a Wall, Mute art for the Million. There wasn't an
Archimandrite of Dane's Island and the townlands nor a minx
from the Isle of Woman nor a one of the four cantins nor any on
the whole wheel of his ecunemical conciliabulum nor nogent
ingen meid on allad the hold scurface of the jorth would come
next or nigh him, Mr Eelwhipper, seed and nursery man, or
his allgas bumgalowre, Auxilium Meum Solo A Domino (Amsad),
for rime or ration, from piles or faces, after that.
     All ears did wag, old Eire wake as Piers Aurell was flapper-
     I have it here to my fingall's ends. This liggy piggy wanted
to go to the jampot. And this leggy peggy spelt pea. And theese
lucky puckers played at pooping tooletom. Ma's da. Da's ma.
Madas. Sadam.
    — Pater patruum cum filiabus familiarum. Or, but, now, and,
ariring out of her mirgery margery watersheads and, to change
that subjunct from the traumaturgid for once in a while and dart-
ing back to stuff, if so be you may identify yourself with the him
in you, that fluctuous neck merchamtur, bloodfadder and milk-
mudder, since then our too many of her, Abha na Lifé, and getting
on to dadaddy again, as them we're ne'er free of, was he in tea
e'er he went on the bier or didn't he ontime do something seemly
heavy in sugar? He sent out Christy Columb and he came back
with a jailbird's unbespokables in his beak and then he sent out
Le Caron Crow and the peacies are still looking for him. The
seeker from the swayed, the beesabouties from the parent swarm.
Speak to the right! Rotacist ca canny! He caun ne'er be bothered
but maun e'er be waked. If there is a future in every past that is
present Quis est qui non novit quinnigan and Qui quae quot at




Quinnigan's Quake! Stump! His producers are they not his con-
sumers? Your exagmination round his factification for incam-
ination of a warping process. Declaim!
     Arra irrara hirrara man, weren't they arriving in clansdes-
tinies for the Imbandiment of Ad Regias Agni Dapes, fogabawlers
and panhibernskers, after the crack and the lean years, scalpjaggers
and houthhunters, like the messicals of the great god, a scarlet
trainful, the Twoedged Petrard, totalling, leggats and prelaps, in
their aggregate ages two and thirty plus undecimmed centries
of them with insiders, extraomnes and tuttifrutties allcunct, from
Rathgar, Rathanga, Rountown and Rush, from America Avenue
and Asia Place and the Affrian Way and Europa Parade and be-
sogar the wallies of Noo Soch Wilds and from Vico, Mespil
Rock and Sorrento, for the lure of his weal and the fear of his
oppidumic, to his salon de espera in the keel of his kraal, like
lodes of ores flocking fast to Mount Maximagnetic, afeerd he was
a gunner but affaird to stay away, Merrionites, Dumstdumb-
drummers, Luccanicans, Ashtoumers, Batterysby Parkes and
Krumlin Boyards, Phillipsburgs, Cabraists and Finglossies,
Ballymunites, Raheniacs and the bettlers of Clontarf, for to con-
template in manifest and pay their firstrate duties before the both
of him, twelve stone a side, with their Thieve le Rouč! and their
Shvr yr Thrst! and their Uisgye ad Inferos! and their Usque ad
Ebbraios! at and in the licensed boosiness primises of his del-
hightful bazar and reunited magazine hall, by the magazine wall,
Hosty's and Co, Exports, for his five hundredth and sixtysixth
borthday, the grand old Magennis Mor, Persee and Rahli, taker
of the tributes, their Rinseky Poppakork and Piowtor the Grape,
holding Dunker's durbar, boot kings and indiarubber umpires
and shawhs from paisley and muftis in muslim and sultana
reiseines and jordan almonders and a row of jam sahibs and a
odd principeza in her pettedcoat and the queen of knight's clubs
and the claddagh ringleaders and the two salaames and the Halfa
Ham and the Hanzas Khan with two fat Maharashers and the
German selver geyser and he polished up, protemptible, tintanam-
bulating to himsilf so silfrich, and there was J. B. Dunlop, the




best tyrent of ourish times, and a swanks of French wine stuarts
and Tudor keepsakes and the Cesarevitch for the current coun-
ter Leodegarius Sant Legerleger riding lapsaddlelonglegs up the
oakses staircase on muleback like Amaxodias Isteroprotos, hind-
quarters to the fore and kick to the lift, and he handygrabbed on
to his trulley natural anthem: Horsibus, keep your tailyup, and
as much as the halle of the vacant fhroneroom, Oldloafs
Buttery, could safely accomodate of the houses of Orange and
Betters M.P, permeated by Druids D.P, Brehons B.P, and
Flawhoolags F.P, and Agiapommenites A.P, and Antepum-
melites P.P, and Ulster Kong and Munster's Herald with
Athclee Ensigning and Athlone Poursuivant and his Imperial
Catchering, his fain awan, and his gemmynosed sanctsons
in epheud and ordilawn and his diamondskulled granddaucher,
Adamantaya Liubokovskva, all murdering Irish, amok and
amak, out of their boom companions in paunchjab and dogril
and pammel and gougerotty, after plenty of his fresh stout and
his good balls of malt, not to forget his oels a'mona nor his beers
o'ryely, sopped down by his pani's annagolorum, (at Kennedy's
kiln she kned her dough, back of her bake for me, buns!) social-
izing and communicanting in the deification of his members, for
to nobble or salvage their herobit of him, the poohpooher old
bolssloose, with his arthurious clayroses, Dodderick Ogonoch
Wrack, busted to the wurld at large, on the table round, with the
floodlight switched back, as true as the Vernons have Brian's
sword, and a dozen and one by one tilly tallows round in ring-
campf, circumassembled by his daughters in the foregiftness of
his sons, lying high as he lay in all dimensions, in court dress and
ludmers chain, with a hogo, fluorescent of his swathings, round
him, like the cummulium of scents in an italian warehouse, erica's
clustered on his hayir, the spectrem of his prisent mocking the
candiedights of his dadtid, bagpuddingpodded to the deafspot,
bewept of his chilidrin and serafim, poors and personalities, ven-
turous, drones and dominators, ancients and auldancients, with
his buttend up, expositoed for sale after referee's inspection,
bulgy and blowrious, bunged to ignorious, healed cured and




embalsemate, pending a rouseruction of his bogey, most highly
astounded, as it turned up, after his life overlasting, at thus being
reduced to nothing.
     Bappy-go-gully and gaff for us all! And all his morties
calisenic, tripping a trepas, neniatwantyng: Mulo Mulelo! Homo
Humilo! Dauncy a deady O! Dood dood dood! O Bawse! O
Boese! O Muerther! O Mord! Mahmato! Moutmaro! O Smir-
tsch! O Smertz! Woh Hillill! Woe Hallall! Thou Thuoni! Thou
Thaunaton! Umartir! Udamnor! Tschitt! Mergue! Eulumu!
Huam Khuam! Malawinga! Malawunga! Ser Oh Ser! See ah
See! Hamovs! Hemoves! Mamor! Rockquiem eternuel give donal
aye in dolmeny! Bat luck's perpepperpot loosen his eyis! (Psich!).
     But there's leps of flam in Funnycoon's Wick. The keyn
has passed. Lung lift the keying!
     God save you king! Muster of the Hidden Life!
     God serf yous kingly, adipose rex! I had four in the morn-
ing and a couple of the lunch and three later on, but your saouls
to the dhaoul, do ye. Finnk. Fime. Fudd?
     Impassable tissue of improbable liyers! D'yu mean to sett
there where y'are now, coddlin your supernumerary leg, wi'that
bizar tongue in yur tolkshap, and your hindies and shindies, like a
muck in a market, Sorley boy, repeating yurself, and tell me that?
     I mean to sit here on this altknoll where you are now,
Surly guy, replete in myself, as long as I live, in my homespins,
like a sleepingtop, with all that's buried ofsins insince insensed
insidesofme. If I can't upset this pound of pressed ollaves I can
sit up zounds of sounds upon him.
     Oliver! He may be an earthpresence. Was that a groan or
did I hear the Dingle bagpipes Wasting war and? Watch!
    — Tris tris a ni ma mea! Prisoner of Love! Bleating Hart!
Lowlaid Herd! Aubain Hand! Wonted Foot! Usque! Usque!
Usque! Lignum in . . .
     Rawth of Gar and Donnerbruck Fire? Is the strays world
moving mound or what static babel is this, tell us?
     Whoishe whoishe whoishe whoishe linking in? Whoishe
whoishe whoishe?




     The snare drum! Lay yer lug till the groun. The dead giant
manalive! They're playing thimbles and bodkins. Clan of the
Gael! Hop! Whu's within?
     Dovegall and finshark, they are ring to the rescune!
     Zinzin. Zinzin.
     Crum abu! Cromwell to victory!
     We'll gore them and gash them and gun them and gloat on
     O, widows and orphans, it's the yeomen! Redshanks for
ever! Up Lancs!
     The cry of the roedeer it is! The white hind. Their slots,
linklink, the hound hunthorning! Send us and peace! Title! Title!
     Christ in our irish times! Christ on the airs independence!
Christ hold the freedman's chareman! Christ light the dully
     Slog slagt and sluaghter! Rape the daughter! Choke the
     Aure! Cloudy father! Unsure! Nongood!
    Sold! I am sold! Brinabride! My ersther! My sidster!
Brinabride, goodbye! Brinabride! I sold!
     Pipette dear! Us! Us! Me! Me!
     Fort! Fort! Bayroyt! March!
     Me! I'm true. True! Isolde. Pipette. My precious!
     Brinabride, bet my price! Brinabride!
     My price, my precious?
     Brinabride, my price! When you sell get my price!
     Pipette! Pipette, my priceless one!
     O! Mother of my tears! Believe for me! Fold thy son!
     Zinzin. Zinzin.
     Now we're gettin it. Tune in and pick up the forain
counties! Hello!




     Hello! Tittit! Tell your title?
     Hellohello! Ballymacarett! Am I thru' Iss? Miss? True?
     Tit! What is the ti . . ?

    Act drop. Stand by! Blinders! Curtain up. Juice, please! Foots!
     Hello! Are you Cigar shank and Wheat?
     I gotye. Gobble Ann's Carrot Cans.
     Parfey. Now, after that justajiff siesta, just permit me a
moment. Challenger's Deep is childsplay to this but, by our
soundings in the swish channels, land is due. A truce to demobbed
swarwords. Clear the line, priority call! Sybil! Better that or
this? Sybil Head this end! Better that way? Follow the baby spot.
Yes. Very good now. We are again in the magnetic field. Do
you remember on a particular lukesummer night, following a
crying fair day? Moisten your lips for a lightning strike and begin
again. Mind the flickers and dimmers! Better?
     Well. The isles is Thymes. The ales is Penzance. Vehement
Genral. Delhi expulsed.
     Still calling of somewhave from its specific? Not more?
Lesscontinuous. There were fires on every bald hill in holy
Ireland that night. Better so?
     You may say they were, son of a cove!
     Were they bonfires? That clear?
     No other name would at all befit them unless that. Bona-
fieries! With their blue beards streaming to the heavens.
     Was it a high white night now?
     Whitest night mortal ever saw.
     Was our lord of the heights nigh our lady of the valley?
     He was hosting himself up and flosting himself around and
ghosting himself to merry her murmur like an andeanupper
     Lewd's carol! Was there rain by any chance, mistandew?




     Plenty. If you wend farranoch.
     There fell some fall of littlewinter snow, holy-as-ivory,
I gather, jesse?
     By snaachtha clocka. The nicest at all. In hilly-and-even
     Did it not blow some gales, westnass or ostscent, rather
strongly to less, allin humours out of turn, jusse as they rose and
     Out of all jokes it did. Pipep! Icecold. Brr na brr, ny prr!
Lieto galumphantes!
   Stll cllng! Nmr! Peace, Pacific! Do you happen to recollect
whether Muna, that highlucky nackt, was shining at all?
     Sure she was, my midday darling! And not one but a pair
of pritty geallachers.
     Quando? Quonda? Go datey!
     Latearly! Latearly! Latearly! Latearly!
     That was latterlig certainly. And was there frostwork
about and thick weather and hice, soon calid, soon frozen, cold on
warm but moistly dry, and a boatshaped blanket of bruma air-
sighs and hellstohns and flammballs and vodashouts and every-
thing to please everybody?
     Hail many fell of greats! Horey morey smother of fog!
There was, so plays your ahrtides. Absolutely boiled.
Obsoletely cowled. Julie and Lulie at their parkiest.
     The amenities, the amenities of the amenities with all their
amenities. And the firmness of the formous of the famous of the
fumous of the first fog in Maidanvale?
     Catchecatche and couchamed!
     From Miss Somer's nice dream back to Winthrop's
delugium stramens. One expects that kind of rimey feeling in the
sire season?
     One certainly does. Desire, for hire, would tire a shire,
phone, phunkel, or wire. And mares.
     Of whitecaps any?
     Foamflakes flockfuyant from Foxrock to Finglas.
     A lambskip for the marines! Paronama! The entire hori-




zon cloth! All effects in their joints caused ways. Raindrum,
windmachine, snowbox. But thundersheet?
     No here. Under the blunkets.
     This common or garden is now in stilller realithy the
starey sphere of an oleotorium for broken pottery and ancient
     Simply awful the dirt. An evernasty ashtray.
     I see. Now do you know the wellknown kikkinmidden
where the illassorted first couple first met with each other? The
place where Ealdermann Fanagan? The time when Junkermenn
     Deed then I do, W.K.
     In Fingal too they met at Littlepeace aneath the bidetree,
Yellowhouse of Snugsborough, Westreeve-Astagob and Sluts-
end with Stockins of Winning's Folly Merryfalls, all of a two,
skidoo and skephumble?
     Godamedy, you're a delville of a tolkar!
     Is it a place fairly exspoused to the four last winds?
     Well, I faithly sincerely believe so indeed if all what I hope
to charity is half true.
     This stow on the wolds, is it Woful Dane Bottom?
     It is woful in need whatever about anything or allselse
under the grianblachk sun of gan greyne Eireann.
     A tricolour ribbon that spells a caution. The old flag, the cold
     The flagstone. By tombs, deep and heavy. To the unaveiling
memory of. Peacer the grave.
     And what sigeth Woodin Warneung thereof?
     Trickspissers vill be pairsecluded.
     There used to be a tree stuck up? An overlisting eshtree?
     There used, sure enough. Beside the Annar. At the ford
of Slivenamond. Oakley Ashe's elm. With a snoodrift from one
beerchen bough. And the grawndest crowndest consecrated may-
pole in all the reignladen history of Wilds. Browne's Thesaurus
Plantarum from Nolan's, The Prittlewell Press, has nothing alike
it. For we are fed of its forest, clad in its wood, burqued by its




bark and our lecture is its leave. The cran, the cran, the king of all
crans. Squiremade and damesman of plantagenets, high and holy.
     Now, no hiding your wren under a bushle! What was it
doing there, for instance?
     Standing foreninst us.
     In Summerian sunshine?
     And in Cimmerian shudders.
     You saw it visibly from your hidingplace?
     No. From my invisibly lyingplace.
     And you then took down in stereo what took place being
tunc committed?
     I then tuk my takenplace lying down, I thunk I told you.
Solve it!
     Remounting aliftle towards the ouragan of spaces. Just
how grand in cardinal rounders is this preeminent giant, sir
Arber? Your bard's highview, avis on valley! I would like to hear
you burble to us in strict conclave, purpurando, and without
too much italiote interfairance, what you know in petto about our
sovereign beingstalk, Tonans Tomazeus. O dite!
     Corcor Andy, Udi, Udite! Your Ominence, Your Immi-
nence and delicted fraternitrees! There's tuodore queensmaids
and Idahore shopgirls and they woody babies growing upon her
and bird flamingans sweenyswinging fuglewards on the tipmast
and Orania epples playing hopptociel bommptaterre and Ty-
burn fenians snoring in his quickenbole and crossbones strewing
its holy floor and culprines of Erasmus Smith's burstall boys
with their underhand leadpencils climbing to her crotch for the
origin of spices and charlotte darlings with silk blue askmes
chattering in dissent to them, gibbonses and gobbenses, guelfing
and ghiberring proferring praydews to their anatolies and blight-
ing findblasts on their catastripes and the killmaimthem pen-
sioners chucking overthrown milestones up to her to fall her
cranberries and her pommes annettes for their unnatural refection
and handpainted hoydens plucking husbands of him and cock
robins muchmore hatching most out of his missado eggdrazzles
for him, the sun and moon pegging honeysuckle and white




heather down and timtits tapping resin there and tomahawks
watching tar elsewhere, creatures of the wold approaching him,
hollow mid ivy, for to claw and rub, hermits of the desert
barking their infernal shins over her triliteral roots and his acorns
and pinecorns shooting wide all sides out of him, plantitude
outsends of plenty to thousands, after the truants of the utmost-
fear and her downslyder in that snakedst-tu-naughsy whimmering
woman't seeleib such a fashionaping sathinous dress out of that
exquisitive creation and her leaves, my darling dearest, sinsin-
sinning since the night of time and each and all of their branches
meeting and shaking twisty hands all over again in their new
world through the germination of its gemination from Ond's
outset till Odd's end. And encircle him circuly. Evovae!
     Is it so exaltated, eximious, extraoldandairy and excels-
     Amengst menlike trees walking or trees like angels weep-
ing nobirdy aviar soar anywing to eagle it! But rocked of agues,
cliffed for aye!
     Telleth that eke the treeth?
     Mushe, mushe of a mixness.
     A shrub of libertine, indeed! But that steyne of law indead
what stiles its neming?
     Tod, tod, too hard parted!
     I've got that now, Dr Melamanessy. Finight mens mid-
infinite true. The form masculine. The gender feminine. I see.
Now, are you derevatov of it yourself in any way? The true
tree I mean? Let's hear what science has to say, pundit-the-
next-best-king. Splanck!
     It reminds of the weeping of the daughters?
     And remounts to the sense arrest.
     The wittold, the frausch and the dibble! How this loose-
affair brimsts of fussforus! And was this treemanangel on his
soredbohmend because Knockout, the knickknaver, knacked
him in the knechtschaft?
     Well, he was ever himself for the presention of crudities to




animals for he had put his own nickelname on every toad, duck
and herring before the climber clomb aloft, doing the midhill of
the park, flattering his bitter hoolft with her conconundrums.
He would let us have the three barrels. Such was a bitte too thikke
for the Muster of the hoose so as he called down on the Grand
Precurser who coiled him a crawler of the dupest dye and
thundered at him to flatch down off that erection and be aslimed
of himself for the bellance of hissch leif.
     Oh Finlay's coldpalled!
     Ahday's begatem!
     Were you there, eh Hehr? Were you there when they
lagged um through the coombe?
     Wo wo! Who who! Psalmtimes it grauws on me to ramble,
ramble, ramble.
     Woe! Woe! So that was how he became the foerst of our
     Yesche and, in the absence of any soberiquiet, the fanest
of our truefalluses. Bapsbaps Bomslinger!
     How near do you feel to this capocapo promontory, sir?
     There do be days of dry coldness between us when he does
be like a lidging house far far astray and there do be nights of wet
windwhistling when he does be making me onions woup all kinds
of ways.
     Now you are mehrer the murk, Lansdowne Road. She's
threwed her pippin's thereabouts and they've cropped up tooth
oneydge with hates to leaven this socried isle. Now, thornyborn,
follow the spotlight, please! Concerning a boy. Are you acquainted
with a pagany, vicariously known as Toucher 'Thom' who is. I
suggest Finoglam as his habitat. Consider yourself on the stand
now and watch your words, take my advice. Let your motto be:
Inter nubila numbum.
     Never you mind about my mother or her hopitout. I con-
sider if I did, I would feel frightfully ashamed of admired vice.
     He is a man of around fifty, struck on Anna Lynsha's
Pekoe with milk and whisky, who does messuages and has more
dirt on him than an old dog has fleas, kicking stones and knocking




snow off walls. Have you ever heard of this old boy "Thom" or
"Thim" of the fishy stare who belongs to Kimmage, a crofting dis-
trict, and is not all there, and is all the more himself since he is
not so, being most of his time down at the Green Man where he
steals, pawns, belches and is a curse, drinking gaily two hours after
closing time, with the coat on him skinside out against rappari-
tions, with his socks outsewed his springsides, clapping his hands
in a feeble sort of way and systematically mixing with the public
going for groceries, slapping greats and littlegets soundly with
his cattegut belts, flapping baresides and waltzywembling about
in his accountrements always in font of the tubbernuckles, like
a longarmed lugh, when he would be finished with his tea?
     Is it that fellow? As mad as the brambles he is. Touch him.
With the lawyers sticking to his trewsershins and the swatme-
notting on the basque of his beret. He has kissed me more than
once, I am sorry to say and if I did commit gladrolleries may the
loone forgive it! O wait till I tell you!
     We are not going yet.
     And look here! Here's, my dear, what he done, as snooks
as I am saying so!
     Get out, you dirt! A strangely striking part of speech for
the hottest worked word of ur sprogue. You're not! Unhindered
and odd times? Mere thumbshow? Lately?
     How do I know? Such my billet. Buy a barrack pass. Ask
the horneys. Tell the robbers.
     You are alluding to the picking pockets in Lower O'Connell
     I am illuding to the Pekin packet but I am eluding from
Laura Connor's treat.
     Now, just wash and brush up your memoirias a little bit.
So I find, referring to the pater of the present man, an erely de-
mented brick thrower, I am wondering to myself in my mind,
qua our arc of the covenant, was Toucher, a methodist, whose
name, as others say, is not really 'Thom', was this salt son of a
century from Boaterstown, Shivering William, the sealiest old for-
ker ever hawked crannock, who is always with him at the Big Elm




and the Arch after his teeth were shaken out of their suckets by the
wrang dog, for having 5 pints 73 of none Eryen blood in him abaft
the seam level, the scatterling, wearing his cowbeamer and false
clothes of a brewer's grains pattern with back buckons with his
motto on, Yule Remember, ostensibly for that occasion only of the
twelfth day Pax and Quantum wedding, I'm wondering.
     I bet you are. Well, he was wandering, you bet, whatever
was his matter, in his mind too, give him his due, for I am sorry
to have to tell you, hullo and evoe, they were coming down from
off him.
     How culious an epiphany!
    — Hodie casus esobhrakonton?
     It looked very like it.
     Needer knows necess and neither garments. Man is minded
of the Meagher, wat? Wooly? Walty?
     Ay, another good button gone wrong.
     Blondman's blaff! Like a skib leaked lintel the arbour
leidend with . . .?
     Pamelas, peggylees, pollywollies, questuants, quaint-
aquilties, quickamerries.
     Concaving now convexly to the semidemihemispheres and,
from the female angle, music minnestirring, were the subligate
sisters, P. and Q., Clopatrick's cherierapest, mutatis mutandis,
in pretty much the same pickle, the peach of all piedom, the
quest of all quicks?
     Peequeen ourselves, the prettiest pickles of unmatchemable
mute antes I ever bopeeped at, seesaw shallshee, since the town go
went gonning on Pranksome Quaine.
     Silks apeel and sulks alusty?
     Boy and giddle, gape and bore.
     I hear these two goddesses are liable to sue him?
     Well, I hope the two Collinses don't leg a bail to shoot him.
     Both were white in black arpists at cloever spilling, knickt?
     Gels bach, I, languised, liszted. Etoudies for the right hand.
     Were they now? And were they watching you as watcher
as well?




     Where do you get that wash? This representation does not
accord with my experience. They were watching the watched
watching. Vechers all.
     Good. Hold that watching brief and keep this witching
longuer. Now, retouching friend Tomsky, the enemy, did you
gather much from what he let drop? We are sitting here for that.
     I was rooshian mad, no lie. About his shapeless hat.
     I suspect you must have been.
     You are making your thunderous mistake. But I was dung
sorry for him too.
     O Schaum! Not really? Were you sorry you were mad
with him then?
     When I tell you I was rooshiamarodnimad with myself
altogether, so I was, for being sorry for him.
     Would you blame him at all stages?
     I believe in many an old stager. But what seemed sooth to
a Greek summed nooth to a giantle. Who kills the cat in Cairo
coaxes cocks in Gaul.
     I put it to you that this was solely in his sunflower state
and that his haliodraping het was why maids all sighed for him,
ventured and vied for him. Hm?
     After Putawayo, Kansas, Liburnum and New Aimstir-
dames, it wouldn't surprise me in the very least.
     That tare and this mole, your tear and our smile. 'Tis life
that lies if woman's eyes have been our old undoing. Lid efter lid.
Reform in mine size his deformation. Tiffpuff up my nostril,
would you puff the earthworm outer my ear.
     He could claud boose his eyes to the birth of his garce, he
could lump all his lot through the half of her play, but he jest
couldn't laugh through the whole of her farce becorpse he warn't
billed that way. So he outandouts his volimetangere and has a
lightning consultation and he downadowns his pantoloogions
and made a piece of first perpersonal puetry that staystale re-
mains to be. Cleaned.




     Booms of bombs and heavy rethudders?
     This aim to you!
     The tail, so mastrodantic, as you tell it nearly takes your
own mummouth's breath away. Your troppers are so unrelieved
because his troopers were in difficulties. Still let stultitiam done
in veino condone ineptias made of veritues. How many were
married on that top of all strapping mornings, after the midnight
turkay drive, my good watcher?
     Puppaps. That'd be telling. With a hoh frohim and heh
fraher. But, as regards to Tammy Thornycraft, Idefyne the lawn
mare and the laney moweress and all the prentisses of wildes to
massage him.
     Now from Gunner Shotland to Guinness Scenography.
Come to the ballay at the Tailors' Hall. We mean to be mellay on
the Mailers' Mall. And leap, rink and make follay till the Gaelers'
Gall. Awake! Come, a wake! Every old skin in the leather world,
infect the whole stock company of the old house of the Leaking
Barrel, was thomistically drunk, two by two, lairking o' tootlers
with tombours a'beggars, the blog and turfs and the brandywine
bankrompers, trou Normend fashion, I have been told down to
the bank lean clorks? Some nasty blunt clubs were being operated
after the tradition of a wellesleyan bottle riot act and a few plates
were being shied about and tumblers bearing traces of fresh
porter rolling around, independent of that, for the ehren of Fyn's
Insul, and then followed that wapping breakfast at the Heaven
and Covenant, with Rodey O'echolowing how his breadcost on
the voters would be a comeback for e'er a one, like the depre-
dations of Scandalknivery, in and on usedtowobble sloops off
cloasts, eh? Would that be a talltale too? This was the grandsire
Orther. This was his innwhite horse. Sip?
     Well, naturally he was, louties also genderymen. Being
Kerssfesstiydt. They came from all lands beyond the wave for
songs of Inishfeel. Whiskway and mortem! No puseyporcious
either, invitem kappines all round. But the right reverend priest,
Mr Hopsinbond, and the reverent bride eleft, Frizzy Fraufrau,
were sober enough. I think they were sober.




     I think you're widdershins there about the right reverence.
Magraw for the Northwhiggern cupteam was wedding beastman,
papers before us carry. You saw him hurriedly, or did you if
thatseme's not irrelevant? With Slater's hammer perhaps? Or he
was in serge?
     I horridly did. On the stroke of the dozen. I'm sure I'm
wrong but I heard the irreverend Mr Magraw, in search of a
stammer, kuckkuck kicking the bedding out of the old sexton,
red-Fox Good-man around the sacristy, till they were bullbeadle
black and bufeteer blue, while I and Flood and the other men,
jazzlike brollies and sesuos, was gickling his missus to gackles in
the hall, the divileen, (she's a lamp in her throth) with her
cygncygn leckle and her twelve pound lach.
     A loyal wifish woman cacchinic wheepingcaugh! While
she laylylaw was all their rage. But you did establish personal
contact? In epexegesis or on a point of order?
     That perkumiary pond is beyawnd my pinnigay pre-
tonsions. I am resting on a pigs of cheesus but I've a big
suggestion it was about the pint of porter.
     You are a suckersome! But this all, as airs said to oska,
was only that childbearer might blogas well sidesplit? Where
letties hereditate a dark mien swart hairy?
     Only. 'Twas womans' too woman with mans' throw man.
     Bully burley yet hardly hurley. The saloon bulkhead, did
you say, or the tweendecks?
     Between drinks, I deeply painfully repeat it.
     Was she wearing shubladey's tiroirs in humour of her
hubbishobbis, Massa's star stellar?
     Mrs Tan-Taylour? Just a floating panel, secretairslid-
ingdraws, a budge of klees on her schalter, a siderbrass sehdass
on her anulas findring and forty crocelips in her curlingthongues.
     So this was the dope that woolied the cad that kinked the
ruck that noised the rape that tried the sap that hugged the mort?
     That legged in the hoax that joke bilked.
     The jest of junk the jungular?
     Jacked up in a jock the wrapper.




     Lollgoll! You don't soye so! All upsydown her whole
creation? So there was nothing serical between you? And Dry-
salter, father of Izod, how was he now?
     To the pink, man, like an allmanox in his shirt and stickup,
brustall to the bear, the Megalomagellan of our winevatswater-
way, squeezing the life out of the liffey.
     Crestofer Carambas! Such is zodisfaction. You punk me!
He came, he kished, he conquered. Vulturuvarnar! The must of
his glancefull coaxing the beam in her eye? That musked bell of
this masked ball! Annabella, Lovabella, Pullabella, yep?
     Yup! Titentung Tollertone in S. Sabina's. Aye aye, she
was lithe and pleasable. Wilt thou the lee? Wilt thou the hee?
Wilt thou the hussif?
     The quicker the deef the safter the sapstaff, but the main
the mightier the stricker the strait. To the vast go the game! It
is the circumconversioning of antelithual paganelles by a hugger-
knut cramwell energuman, or the caecodedition of an absque-
litteris puttagonnianne to the herreraism of a cabotinesque ex-
     I believe you. Taiptope reelly, O reely!
     Nautaey, nautaey, we're nowhere without ye! In steam of
kavos now arbatos above our hearths doth hum. And Malkos
crackles logs of fun while Anglys cheers our ingles. So lent she
him ear to burrow his manhood (or so it appierce) and borrow
his namas? Suilful eyes and sallowfoul hairweed and the sickly
sigh from her gingering mouth like a Dublin bar in the moarning.
    Primus auriforasti me.
     The park is gracer than the hole, says she, but shekleton's
my fortune?
     Eversought of being artained? You've soft a say with ye,
Flatter O'Ford, that, honey, I hurdley chew you.
     Is that answers?
     It am queery!
     The house was Toot and Come-Inn by the bridge called
Tiltass, but are you solarly salemly sure, beyond the shatter of
the canicular year? Nascitur ordo seculi numfit.




     Siriusly and selenely sure behind the shutter. Securius indicat
umbris tellurem.
     Date as? Your time of immersion? We are still in drought
of. . . ?
     Amnis Dominae, Marcus of Corrig. A laughin hunter and
Purty Sue.
     And crazyheaded Jorn, the bulweh born?
     Fluteful as his orkan. Ex ugola lenonem.
     And Jambs, of Delphin's Bourne or (as olders lay) of
     Dawncing the kniejinksky choreopiscopally like an easter
sun round the colander, the vice! Taranta boontoday! You
should pree him prance the polcat, you whould sniff him wops
around, you should hear his piedigrotts schraying as his skimpies
skirp a . . .
     Crashedafar Corumbas! A Czardanser indeed! Dervilish
glad too. Ortovito semi ricordo. The pantaglionic affection
through his blood like a bad influenza in a leap at bounding
     Out of Prisky Poppagenua, the palsied old priamite, home
from Edwin Hamilton's Christmas pantaloonade, Oropos Roxy
and Pantharhea at the Gaiety, trippudiating round the aria, with
his fiftytwo heirs of age! They may reel at his likes but it's Noeh
Bonum's shin do.
     And whit what was Lillabil Issabil maideve, maid at?
     Trists and thranes and trinies and traines.
     A take back to the virgin page, darm it!
     Ay, graunt ye.
     The quobus quartet were there too, if I mistake not, as a
sideline but, pace the contempt of senate, well to the fore, in an
amenessy meeting, metandmorefussed to decide whereagainwhen
to meet themselves flopsome and jerksome, lubber and deliric,
drinking unsteadily through the Kerry quadrilles and Listowel
lancers and mastersinging always with that consecutive fifth of
theirs, eh? Like four wise elephants inandouting under a twelve-
podestalled table?




     They were simple scandalmongers, that familiar, and all!
Normand, Desmond, Osmund and Kenneth. Making mejical
history all over the show!
     In sum, some hum? And other marrage feats?
     All our stakes they were astumbling round the ranky roars
assumbling when Big Arthur flugged the field at Annie's courting.
     Suddenly some wellfired clay was cast out through the
schappsteckers of hoy's house?
     Schottenly there was a hellfire club kicked out through the
wasistas of Thereswhere.
     Like Heavystost's envil catacalamitumbling. Three days
three times into the Vulcuum?
     Or Noe et Ecclesiastes, nonne?
     Ninny, there is no hay in Eccles's hostel.
     Yet an I saw a sign of him, if you could scrape out his
acquinntence? Name or redress him and we'll call it a night!
     .i..'. .o..l .
     You are sure it was not a shuler's shakeup or a plighter's
palming or a winker's wake etcaetera etcaeterorum you were at?
     Mayhap. Hora pro Nubis, Thundersday, at A Little Bit Of
Heaven Howth, the wife of Deimetuus (D'amn), Earl Adam Fitz-
adam, of a Tartar (Birtha) or Sackville-Lawry and Morland-
West, at the Auspice for the Living, Bonnybrook, by the river
and A. Briggs Carlisle, guardian of the birdsmaids and deputil-
iser for groom. Pontifical mess. Or (soddenly) Schott, furtivfired
by the riots. No flies. Agreest?
     Mayhem. Also loans through the post. With or without
security. Everywhere. Any amount. Mofsovitz, swampstakers,
purely providential.
     Flood's. The pinkman, the squeeze, the pint with the kick.
Gaa. And then the punch to Gaelicise it. Fox. The lady with the
lamp. The boy in the barleybag. The old man on his ars. Great
Scrapp! 'Tis we and you and ye and me and hymns and hurts and
heels and shields. The eirest race, the ourest nation, the airest place




that erestationed. He was culping for penance while you were
ringing his belle. Did the kickee, goodman rued fox, say anything
important? Clam or cram, spick or spat?
     No more than Richman's periwhelker.
     Nnn ttt wrd?
     Dmn ttt thg.
     A gael galled by scheme of scorn? Nock?
     Sangnifying nothing. Mock!
    Fortitudo eius rhodammum tenuit?
     Five maim! Or something very similar.
     I should like to euphonise that. It sounds an isochronism.
Secret speech Hazelton and obviously disemvowelled. But it is
good laylaw too. We may take those wellmeant kicks for free
granted, though ultra vires, void and, in fact, unnecessarily so.
Happily you were not quite so successful in the process verbal
whereby you would sublimate your blepharospasmockical sup-
pressions, it seems?
     What was that? First I heard about it.
     Were you or were you not? Ask yourself the answer, I'm
not giving you a short question. Now, not to mix up, cast your
eyes around Capel Court. I want you, witness of this epic struggle,
as yours so mine, to reconstruct for us, as briefly as you can, in-
exactly the same as a mind's eye view, how these funeral games,
which have been poring over us through homer's kerryer pid-
geons, massacreedoed as the holiname rally round took place.
     Which? Sure I told you that afoul. I was drunk all lost life.
     Well, tell it to me befair, the whole plan of campaign, in
that bamboozelem mincethrill voice of yours. Let's have it,
christie! The Dublin own, the thrice familiar.
     Ah, sure, I eyewitless foggus. 'Tis all around me bebatters-
bid hat.
     Ah, go on now, Masta Bones, a gig for a gag, with your
impendements and your perroqtriques! Blank memory of hatless
darky in blued suit. You were ever the gentle poet, dove from
Haywarden. Pitcher cup, patcher cap, pratey man? Be nice about
it, Bones Minor! Look chairful! Come, delicacy! Go to the end,