Finnegans Wake by James Joyce


Lowly, longly, a wail went forth. Pure Yawn lay low. On the
mead of the hillock lay, heartsoul dormant mid shadowed land-
shape, brief wallet to his side, and arm loose, by his staff of citron
briar, tradition stick-pass-on. His dream monologue was over,
of cause, but his drama parapolylogic had yet to be, affact. Most
distressfully (but, my dear, how successfully!) to wail he did,
his locks of a lucan tinge, quickrich, ripely rippling, unfilleted,
those lashbetasselled lids on the verge of closing time, whiles
ouze of his sidewiseopen mouth the breath of him, evenso
languishing as the princeliest treble treacle or lichee chewchow
purse could buy. Yawn in a semiswoon lay awailing and (hooh!)
what helpings of honeyful swoothead (phew!), which ear-
piercing dulcitude! As were you suppose to go and push with
your bluntblank pin in hand upinto his fleshasplush cushionettes
of some chubby boybold love of an angel. Hwoah!
When, as the buzzer brings the light brigade, keeping the
home fires burning, so on the churring call themselves came at
him, from the westborders of the eastmidlands, three kings of
three suits and a crowner, from all their cardinal parts, along
the amber way where Brosna's furzy. To lift them they did,
senators four, by the first quaint skreek of the gloaming and
they hopped it up the mountainy molehill, traversing climes
of old times gone by of the days not worth remembering;
inventing some excusethems, any sort, having a sevenply
sweat of night blues moist upon them. Feefee! phopho!!
foorchtha!!! aggala!!!! jeeshee!!!!! paloola!!!!!! ooridiminy!!!!!!!
Afeared themselves were to wonder at the class of a crossroads
puzzler he would likely be, length by breadth nonplussing his
thickness, ells upon ells of him, making so many square yards of
him, one half of him in Conn's half but the whole of him never-
theless in Owenmore's five quarters. There would he lay till
they would him descry, spancelled down upon a blossomy bed, at
one foule stretch, amongst the daffydowndillies, the flowers of
narcosis fourfettering his footlights, a halohedge of wild spuds
hovering over him, epicures waltzing with gardenfillers, puritan
shoots advancing to Aran chiefs. Phopho!! The meteor pulp
of him, the seamless rainbowpeel. Aggala!!!! His bellyvoid of
nebulose with his neverstop navel. Paloola!!!!!! And his veins
shooting melanite phosphor, his creamtocustard cometshair and
his asteroid knuckles, ribs and members. Ooridiminy!!!!!!! His
electrolatiginous twisted entrails belt.
Those four claymen clomb together to hold their sworn star-
chamber quiry on him. For he was ever their quarrel, the way
they would see themselves, everybug his bodiment atop of
annywom her notion, and the meet of their noght was worth two
of his morning. Up to the esker ridge it was, Mallinger parish, to a
mead that was not far, the son's rest. First klettered Shanator
Gregory, seeking spoor through the deep timefield, Shanator
Lyons, trailing the wavy line of his partition footsteps (some-
thing in his blisters was telling him all along how he had
been in that place one time), then his Recordership, Dr Shuna-
dure Tarpey, caperchasing after honourable sleep, hot on to the
aniseed and, up out of his prompt corner, old Shunny MacShunny,
MacDougal the hiker, in the rere of them on the run, to make a
quorum. Roping their ass he was, their skygrey globetrotter,
by way of an afterthought and by no means legless either for
such sprouts on him they were that much oneven it was tumbling
he was by four lengths, within the bawl of a mascot, kuss yuss,
kuss cley, patsy watsy, like the kapr in the kabisses, the big ass,
to hear with his unaided ears the harp in the air, the bugle
dianablowing, wild as wild, the mockingbird whose word is
misfortune, so 'tis said, the bulbul down the wind.
The proto was traipsing through the tangle then, Mathew
Walker, godsons' goddestfar, deputising for gossipocracy,
and his station was a few perch to the weatherside of the
knoll Asnoch and it was from no other place unless there, how
and ever, that he proxtended aloof upon the ether Mesmer's
Manuum, the hand making silence. The buckos beyond on the lea,
then stopped wheresoever they found their standings and that way
they set ward about him, doing obedience, nod, bend, bow and
curtsey, like the watchers of Prospect, upholding their broad-
awake prober's hats on their firrum heads, the travelling court on
its findings circuiting that personer in his fallen. And a crack quat-
youare of stenoggers they made of themselves, solons and psy-
chomorers, all told, with their hurts and daimons, spites and
clops, not even to the seclusion of their beast by them that was
the odd trick of the pack, trump and no friend of carrots. And,
what do you think, who should be laying there above all other
persons forenenst them only Yawn! All of asprawl he was laying
too amengst the poppies and, I can tell you something more than
that, drear writer, profoundly as you may bedeave to it, he was
oscasleep asleep. And it was far more similar to a satrap he lay there
with unctuous beauty all surrounded, the poser, or for whatall I
know like Lord Lumen, coaching his preferred constellations in
faith and doctrine, for old Matt Gregory, 'tis he had the starmenag-
erie, Marcus Lyons and Lucas Metcalfe Tarpey and the mack
that never forgave the ass that lurked behind him, Jonny na
Hossaleen.
More than their good share of their five senses ensorcelled
you would say themselves were, fuming censor, the way they
could not rightly tell their heels from their stools as they cooched
down a mamalujo by his cubical crib, as question time drew
nighing and the map of the souls' groupography rose in relief
within their quarterings, to play tops or kites or hoops or marbles,
curchycurchy, gawking on him, for the issuance of his pnum and
softnoising one of them to another one, the boguaqueesthers.
And it is what they began to say to him tetrahedrally then, the
masters, what way was he.
— He's giving, the wee bairn. Yun has lived.
— Yerra, why dat, my leader?
— Wisha, is he boosed or what, alannah?
— Or his wind's from the wrong cut, says Ned of the Hill.
— Lesten!
— Why so and speak up, do you hear me, you sir?
— Or he's rehearsing somewan's funeral.
— Whisht outathat! Hubba's up!
And as they were spreading abroad on their octopuds their
drifter nets, the chromous gleamy seiners' nets and, no lie, there was
word of assonance being softspoken among those quartermasters.
— Get busy, kid!
— Chirpy, come now!
— The present hospices is a good time.
— I'll take on that chap.
For it was in the back of their mind's ear, temptive lissomer,
how they would be spreading in quadriliberal their azurespotted
fine attractable nets, their nansen nets, from Matt Senior to the
thurrible mystagogue after him and from thence to the neighbour
and that way to the puisny donkeyman and his crucifer's cauda.
And in their minds years backslibris, so it was, slipping beauty,
how they would be meshing that way, when he rose to it, with
the planckton at play about him, the quivers of scaly silver and
their clutches of chromes of the highly lucid spanishing gold
whilst, as hour gave way to mazing hour, with Yawn himself
keeping time with his thripthongue, to ope his blurbeous lips he
would, a let out classy, the way myrrh of the moor and molten
moonmist would be melding mellifond indo his mouth.
— Y?
— Before You!
— Ecko! How sweet thee answer makes! Afterwheres? In the
land of lions' odor?
— Friends! First if yu don't mind. Name yur historical grouns.
— This same prehistoric barrow 'tis, the orangery.
— I see. Very good now. It is in your orangery, I take it, you
have your letters. Can you hear here me, you sir?
— Throsends. For my darling. Typette!
— So long aforetime? Can you hear better?
— Millions. For godsends. For my darling dearling one.
— Now, to come nearer zone; I would like to raise my
deuterous point audibly touching this. There is this maggers.
I am told by our interpreter, Hanner Esellus, that there are fully
six hundred and six ragwords in your malherbal Magis lande-
guage in which wald wand rimes alpman and there is resin in all
roots for monarch but yav hace not one pronouncable teerm that
blows in all the vallums of tartallaght to signify majestate, even
provisionally, nor no rheda rhoda or torpentine path or halluci-
nian via nor aurellian gape nor sunkin rut nor grossgrown trek
nor crimeslaved cruxway and no moorhens cry or mooner's
plankgang there to lead us to hopenhaven. Is such the unde deri-
vatur casematter messio! Frankly. Magis megis enerretur mynus
hoc intelligow.
— How? C'est mal prononsable, tartagliano, perfrances. Vous
n'avez pas d'o dans votre boche provenciale, mousoo. Je m'in-
cline mais Moy jay trouvay la clee dang les champs. Hay sham nap
poddy velour, come on!
— Hep there! Commong, sa na pa de valure? Whu's teit dans
yur jambs? Whur's that inclining and talkin about the messiah
so cloover? A true's to your trefling! Whure yu!
— Trinathan partnick dieudonnay. Have you seen her?
Typette, my tactile O!
— Are you in your fatherick, lonely one?
— The same. Three persons. Have you seen my darling only
one? I am sohohold!
— What are yu shevering about, ultramontane, like a houn?
Is there cold on ye, doraphobian? Or do yu want yur primafairy
schoolmam?
— The woods of fogloot! O mis padredges!
— Whisht awhile, greyleg! The duck is rising and you'll wake
that stand of plover. I know that place better than anyone. Sure,
I used to be always overthere on the fourth day at my grand-
mother's place, Tear-nan-Ogre, my little grey home in the west,
in or about Mayo when the long dog gave tongue and they
coursing the marches and they straining at the leash. Tortoise-
shell for a guineagould! Burb! Burb! Burb! Follow me up
Tucurlugh! That's the place for the claire oysters, Polldoody,
County Conway. I never knew how rich I was like another story in
the zoedone of the zephyros, strolling and strolling, carrying my
dragoman, Meads Marvel, thass withumpronouceable tail, along
the shore. Do you know my cousin, Mr Jasper Dougal that
keeps the Anchor on the Mountain, the parson's son, Jasper of
the Tuns, Pat Whateveryournameis?
— Dood and I dood. The wolves of Fochlut! By Whydoyou-
callme? Do not flingamejig to the twolves!
— Turcafiera amd that's a good wan right enough! Wooluvs
no less!
— One moment now, if I foreshorten the bloss on your
bleather. Encroachement spells erosion. Dunlin and turnstone
augur us where, how and when best as to burial of carcass, fuse-
lage of dump and committal of noisance. But, since you invocate
austers for the trailing of vixens, I would like to send a cormo-
rant around this blue lagoon. Tell me now this. You told my
larned friend rather previously, a moment since, about this mound
or barrow. Now I suggest to you that ere there was this plague-
burrow, as you seem to call it, there was a burialbattell, the boat
of millions of years. Would you bear me out in that, relatively
speaking, with her jackstaff jerking at her pennyladders, why
not, and sizing a fair sail, knowest thout the kind? The Pourquoi
Pas, bound for Weissduwasland, that fourmaster barquentine,
Webster says, our ship that ne're returned. The Frenchman, I say,
was an orangeboat. He is a boat. You see him. The both how
you see is they! Draken af Danemork! Sacked it or ate it? What!
Hennu! Spake ab laut!
— Couch, cortege, ringbarrow, dungcairn. Beseek the runes
and see the longurn! Allmaun away when you hear the gang-
horn. And meet Nautsen. Ess Ess. O ess. Warum night! Con-
ning two lay payees. Norsker. Her raven flag was out, the
slaver. I trow pon good, jordan's scaper, good's barnet and
trustyman. Crouch low, you pigeons three! Say, call that girl with
the tan tress awn! Call Wolfhound! Wolf of the sea. Folchu!
Folchu!
— Very good now. That folklore's straight from the ass his
mouth. I will crusade on with the parent ship, weather prophet-
ting, far away from those green hills, a station, Ireton tells me,
bonofide for keeltappers, now to come to the midnight middy
on this levantine ponenter. From Daneland sailed the oxeyed
man, now mark well what I say.
— Magnus Spadebeard, korsets krosser, welsher perfyddye.
A destroyer in our port. Signed to me with his baling scoop. Laid
bare his breastpaps to give suck, to suckle me. Ecce Hagios
Chrisman!
— Oh, Jeyses, fluid! says the poisoned well. Futtfishy the
First. Hootchcopper's enkel at the navel manuvres!
— Hep! Hello there, Bill of old Bailey! Whu's he? Whu's
this lad, why the pups?
— Hunkalus Childared Easterheld. It's his lost chance,
Emania. Ware him well.
— Hey! Did you dream you were ating your own tripe,
acushla, that you tied yourself up that wrynecky fix?
— I see now. We move in the beast circuls. Grimbarb and
pancercrucer! You took the words out of my mouth. A child's
dread for a dragon vicefather. Hillcloud encompass us! You
mean you lived as milky at their lyceum, couard, while you
learned, volp volp, to howl yourself wolfwise. Dyb! Dyb! Do
your best.
— I am dob dob dobbling like old Booth's, courteous. The
cubs are after me, it zeebs, the whole totem pack, vuk vuk and
vuk vuk to them, for Robinson's shield.
— Scents and gouspils! The animal jangs again! Find the
fingall harriers! Here howl me wiseacre's hat till I die of the
milkman's lupus!
— What? Wolfgang? Whoah! Talk very slowe!
— Hail him heathen, heal him holystone!
Courser, Recourser, Changechild ..............?
Eld es endall, earth .....................?
— A cataleptic mithyphallic! Was this Totem Fulcrum Est
Ancestor yu hald in Dies Eirae where no spider webbeth or
Anno Mundi ere bawds plied in Skiffstrait? Be fair, Chris!
— Dream. Ona nonday I sleep. I dreamt of a somday. Of a
wonday I shall wake. Ah! May he have now of here fearfilled
me! Sinflowed, O sinflowed! Fia! Fia! Befurcht christ!
— I have your tristich now; it recurs in three times the same
differently (there is such a fui fui story which obtains of him):
comming nown from the asphalt to the concrete, from the human
historic brute, Finnsen Faynean, occeanyclived, to this same
vulganized hillsir from yours, Mr Tupling Toun of Morning
de Heights, with his lavast flow and his rambling undergroands,
would he reoccur Ad Horam, as old Romeo Rogers, in city or
county, and your sure ob, or by, with or from an urb, of you
know the differenciabus, as brauchbarred in apabhramsa, sierrah!
We speak of Gun, the farther. And in the locative. Bap! Bap!
— Ouer Tad, Hellig Babbau, whom certayn orbits assertant
re humeplace of Chivitats Ei, Smithwick, Rhonnda, Kaledon,
Salem (Mass), Childers, Argos and Duthless. Well, I am advised
he might in a sense be both nevertheless, every at man like my-
self, suffix it to say, Abrahamsk and Brookbear! By him it was
done bapka, by me it was gone into, to whom it will beblive,
Mushame, Mushame! I am afraid you could not heave ahore one
of your own old stepstones, barnabarnabarn, over a stumble-
down wall here in Huddlestown to this classic Noctuber night
but itandthey woule binge, much as vecious, off the dosshouse
back of a racerider in his truetoflesh colours, either handicapped
on her flat or barely repeating himself. That is a tiptip tim oldy
faher now the man I go in fear of, Tommy Terracotta, and he
could be all your and my das, the brodar of the founder of the
father of the finder of the pfander of the pfunder of the furst man
in Ranelagh, fuè fuè Petries and violet ice (I am yam, as Me
and Tam Tower used to jagger pemmer it, over at the house of
Eddy's Christy, meaning Dodgfather, Dodgson and Coo) and
spiriduous sanction!
— Breeze softly. Aures are aureas. Hau's his naun?
— Me das has or oreils. Piercey, piercey, piercey, piercey!
— White eyeluscious and muddyhorsebroth! Pig Pursyriley!
But where do we get off, chiseller?
— Haltstille, Lucas and Dublinn! Vulva! Vulva! Vulva!
Vulva!
— Macdougal, Atlantic City, or his onagrass that is, chuam
and coughan! I would go near identifying you from your stavro-
tides, Jong of Maho, and the weslarias round your yokohahat.
And that O'mulanchonry plucher you have from the worst
curst of Ireland, Glwlwd of the Mghtwg Grwpp, is no use to
you either, Johnny my donkeyschott. Number four, fix up your
spreadeagle and pull your weight!
— Hooshin hom to our regional's hin and the gander of
Hayden. Would ye ken a young stepschuler of psychical chiro-
graphy, the name of Keven, or (let outers pray) Evan Vaughan,
of his Posthorn in the High Street, that was shooing a Guiney
gagag, Poulepinter, that found the dogumen number one, I
would suggest, an illegible downfumbed by an unelgible?
— If I do know sinted sageness? Sometimes he would keep
silent for a few minutes as if in prayer and clasp his forehead and
during the time he would be thinking to himself and he would
not mind anybody who would be talking to him or crying
stinking fish. But I no way need you, stroke oar nor your quick
handles. Your too farfar a cock of the north there, Matty Armagh,
and your due south so.
— South I see. You're up-in-Leal-Ulster and I'm-free-Down-
in-Easia, this is much better. He is cured by faith who is sick of
fate. The prouts who will invent a writing there ultimately is the
poeta, still more learned, who discovered the raiding there origin-
ally. That's the point of eschatology our book of kills reaches
for now in soandso many counterpoint words. What can't be
coded can be decorded if an ear aye sieze what no eye ere grieved
for. Now, the doctrine obtains, we have occasioning cause caus-
ing effects and affects occasionally recausing altereffects. Or I
will let me take it upon myself to suggest to twist the penman's
tale posterwise. The gist is the gist of Shaum but the hand is
the hand of Sameas. Shan - Shim - Schung. There is a strong
suspicion on counterfeit Kevin and we all remember ye in child-
hood's reverye. 'Tis the bells of scandal that gave tune to
grumble over him and someone between me and thee. He would
preach to the two turkies and dipdip all the dindians, this master
the abbey, and give gold tidings to all that are in the bonze age
of anteproresurrectionism to entrust their easter neappearance
to Borsaiolini's house of hatcraft. He is our sent on the firm.
Now, have you reasonable hesitancy in your mind about him
after fourpriest redmass or are you in your post? Tell me andat
sans dismay. Leap, pard!
— Fierappel putting years on me! Nwo, nwo! This bolt in
hand be my worder! I'll see you moved farther, blarneying
Marcantonio! What cans such wretch to say to I or how have My
to doom with him? We were wombful of mischief and initium-
wise, everliking a liked, hairytop on heeltipper, alpybecca's un-
wachsibles, an ikeson am ikeson, that babe, imprincipially, my
leperd brethern, the Puer, ens innocens of but fifteen primes.
Ya all in your kalblionized so trilustriously standing the real
school, to be upright as his match, healtheous as is egg, saviour
so the salt and good wee braod, parallaling buttyr, did I alter-
mobile him to a flare insiding hogsfat. Been ike hins kinder-
gardien? I know not, O cashla, I am sure offed habitand this
undered heaven, meis enfins, contrasting the first mover, that
father I ascend fromming knows, as I think, caused whom I, a
self the sign, came remaining being dwelling ayr, plage and
watford as to I was eltered impostulance possessing my future
state falling towards thrice myself resting the childhide when
I received the habit following Mezienius connecting Mezosius
including was verted embracing a palegrim, circumcised my
hairs, Oh laud, and removed my clothes from patristic motives,
meas minimas culpads! Permitting this ick (ickle coon icoocoon)
crouched low entering humble down, dead thrue mean scato-
logical past, making so smell partaking myself to confess abiding
clean tumbluponing yous octopods, mouthspeech allno finger-
force, owning my mansuetude before him attaching Audeon's
prostratingwards mine sore accompanying my thrain tropps
offering meye eyesalt, what I (the person whomin I now am) did
not do, how he to say essied anding how he was making errand
andanding how he all locutey sunt, why did you, my sexth best
friend, blabber always you would be so delated to back me, then
ersed irredent, toppling Humphrey hugging Nephew, old begge-
laut, designing such post sitting his night office? Annexing then,
producing Saint Momuluius, you snub around enclosing your
moving motion touching the other catachumens continuing say
providing append of signature quoniam you will celebrand my
dirthdags quoniam, concealed a concealer, I am twosides uppish,
a mockbelief insulant, ending none meer hyber irish. Well, chunk
your dimned chink, before avtokinatown, forasmuch as many
have tooken in hand to, I may as well humbly correct that ves-
pian now in case of temporalities. I've my pockets full comeplay
of you laycreated cardonals, ap rince, ap rowler, ap rancer, ap
rowdey! Improperial! I saved you fore of the Hekkites and you
loosed me hind bland Harry to the burghmote of Aud Dub. I
teachet you in fair time, my elders, the W.X.Y.Z. and P.Q.R.S. of
legatine powers and you, Ailbey and Ciardeclan, I learn, episcop-
ing me altogether, circumdeditioned me. I brought you from the
loups of Lazary and you have remembered my lapsus langways.
Washywatchywataywatashy! Oirasesheorebukujibun! Wata-
cooshy lot! Mind of poison is. That time thing think! Honorific
remembrance to spit humble makes. My ruridecanal caste is a cut
above you peregrines. Aye vouchu to rumanescu. See the leabhour
of my generations! Has not my master, Theophrastius Spheropneu-
maticus, written that the spirit is from the upper circle? I'm of the
ochlocracy with Prestopher Palumbus and Porvus Parrio. Soa
koa Kelly Terry per Chelly Derry lepossette. Ho look at my
jailbrand Exquovis and sequencias High marked on me fake-
similar in the foreign by Pappagallus and Pumpusmugnus:
ahem! Anglicey: Eggs squawfish lean yoe nun feed marecurious.
Sagart can self laud nilobstant to Lowman Catlick's patrician
morning coat of arms with my High tripenniferry cresta and
caudal mottams: Itch dean: which Gaspey, Otto and Sauer, he
renders: echo stay so! Addressing eat or not eat body Yours
am. And, Mind, praisegad, is the first praisonal Egoname Yod
heard boissboissy in Moy Bog's domesday. Hastan the vista! Or
in alleman: Suck at!
— Suck it yourself, sugarstick! Misha, Yid think whose was
asking to luckat your sore toe or to taste your gaspy, hot and
sour! Ichthyan! Hegvat tosser! Gags be plebsed! Between his
voyous and her consinnantes! Thugg, Dirke and Hacker with
Rose Lankester and Blanche Yorke! Are we speachin d'anglas
landadge or are you sprakin sea Djoytsch? Oy soy, Bleseyblasey,
where to go is knowing remain? Become quantity that discourse
bothersome when what do? Knowing remain? Come back, baddy
wrily, to Bullydamestough! Cum him, buddy rowly, with me!
What about your thruppenny croucher of an old fellow, me boy,
through the ages, tell us, eh? What about Brian's the Vauntand-
onlieme, Master Monk, eh, eh, Spira in Me Domino, spear me
Doyne! Fat prize the bonafide peachumpidgeonlover, eh, eh,
eh, esquire earwugs, escusado, of Jenkins' Area, with his I've Ivy
under his tangue and the hohallo to his dullaphone, before there
was a sound in the world? How big was his boost friend and be
shanghaied to him? The swaaber! The twicer, trifoaled in Wan-
stable! Loud's curse to him! If you hored him outerly as we
harum lubberintly, from morning rice till nightmale, with his
drums and bones and hums in drones your innereer'd heerdly
heer he. Ho ha hi he hung! Tsing tsing!
— Me no angly mo, me speakee Yellman's lingas. Nicey Doc
Mistel Lu, please! Me no pigey ludiments all same numpa one
Topside Tellmastoly fella. Me pigey savvy a singasong anothel
time. Pleasie, Mista Lukie Walkie! Josadam cowbelly maam
belongame shepullamealahmalong, begolla, Jackinaboss belonga-
she; plentymuch boohoomeo.
— Hell's Confucium and the Elements! Tootoo moohootch!
Thot's never the postal cleric, checking chinchin chat with nip-
ponnippers! Halt there sob story to your lambdad's tale! Are
you roman cawthrick 432?
— Quadrigue my yoke.
Triple my tryst.
Tandem my sire.
— History as her is harped. Too the toone your owldfrow lied
of. Tantris, hattrick, tryst and parting, by vowelglide! I feel
your thrilljoy mouths overtspeaking, O dragoman, hands under-
studium. Plunger words what paddle verbed. Mere man's mime:
God has jest. The old order changeth and lasts like the first.
Every third man has a chink in his conscience and every other
woman has a jape in her mind. Now, fix on the little fellow in my
eye, Minucius Mandrake, and follow my little psychosinology,
poor armer in slingslang. Now I, the lord of Tuttu, am placing
that inital T square of burial jade upright to your temple a
moment. Do you see anything, templar?
— I see a blackfrinch pliestrycook . . . who is carrying on
his brainpan . . . a cathedral of lovejelly for his . . . Tiens, how
he is like somebodies!
— Pious, a pious person. What sound of tistress isoles my
ear? I horizont the same, this serpe with ramshead, and lay it
lightly to your lip a little. What do you feel, liplove?
— I feel a fine lady . . . floating on a stillstream of
isisglass . . . with gold hair to the bed . . . and white arms to the
twinklers . . . O la la!
— Purely, in a pure manner. O, sey but swift and still a vain
essaying! Trothed today, trenned tomorrow. I invert the initial
of your tripartite and sign it sternly, and adze to girdle on your
breast. What do you hear, breastplate?
— I ahear of a hopper behidin the door slappin his feet in a
pool of bran.
— Bellax, acting like a bellax. And so the triptych vision
passes. Out of a hillside into a hillside. Fairshee fading. Again
am I deliciated by the picaresqueness of your irmages. Now,
the oneir urge iterimpellant, I feel called upon to ask did it
ever occur to you, qua you, prior to this, by a stretch of
your iberborealic imagination, when it's quicker than this quack-
ing that you might, bar accidens, be very largely substituted in
potential secession from your next life by a complementary char-
acter, voices apart? Upjack! I shudder for your thought! Think!
Put from your mind that and take on trust this. The next word
depends on your answer.
— I'm thinking to, thogged be thenked! I was just trying to
think when I thought I felt a flea. I might have. I cannot say for
it is of no significance at all. Once or twice when I was in odin-
burgh with my addlefoes, Jake Jones, the handscabby, when I
thinkled I wore trying on my garden substisuit, boy's apert, at
my nexword nighboor's, and maybe more largely nor you
quosh yet you, messmate, realise. A few times, so to shape, I chanced
to be stretching, in the shadow as I thought, the liferight out
of myself in my ericulous imaginating. I felt feeling a half Scotch
and pottage like roung my middle ageing like Bewley in the
baste so that I indicate out to myself and I swear my gots how
that I'm not meself at all, no jolly fear, when I realise bimiselves
how becomingly I to be going to become.
— O, is that the way with you, you craythur? In the becom-
ing was the weared, wontnat! Hood maketh not frere. The voice
is the voice of jokeup, I fear. Are you imitation Roma now or
Amor now. You have all our empathies, eh, Mr Trickpat, if you
don't mind, that is, aside from sings and mush, answering to my
straight question?
— God save the monk! I won't mind this is, answering to
your strict crossqueets, whereas it would be as unethical for me
now to answer as it would have been nonsensical for you then
not to have asked. Same no can, home no will, gangin I am.
Gangang is Mine and I will return. Out of my name you call me,
Leelander. But in my shelter you'll miss me. When Lapac walks
backwords he's darkest horse in Capalisoot. You knew me once
but you won't know me twice. I am simpliciter arduus, ars of
the schoo, Freeday's child in loving and thieving.
— My child, know this! Some portion of that answer appears
to have been token by you from the writings of Saint Synodius,
that first liar. Let us hear, therefore, as you honour and obey the
queen, whither the indwellingness of that which shamefieth be
entwined of one or atoned of two. Let us hear, Art simplicissime!
— Dearly beloved brethren: Bruno and Nola, leymon bogholders
and stationary lifepartners off orangey Saint Nessau Street, were
explaining it avicendas all round each other ere yesterweek out
of Ibn Sen and Ipanzussch. When himupon Nola Bruno mono-
polises his egobruno most unwillingly seses by the mortal powers
alionola equal and opposite brunoipso, id est, eternally provoking
alio opposite equally as provoked as Bruno at being eternally
opposed by Nola. Poor omniboose, singalow singelearum: so
is he!
— One might hear in their beyond that lionroar in the air
again, the zoohoohoom of Felin make Call. Bruin goes to Noble,
aver who is? If is itsen? Or you mean Nolans but Volans, an
alibi, do you Mutemalice, suffering unegoistically from the singular
but positively enjoying on the plural? Dustify of that sole, you
breather! Ruemember, blither, thou must lie!
— Oyessoyess! I never dramped of prebeing a postman but
I mean in ostralian someplace, mults deeply belubdead; my
allaboy brother, Negoist Cabler, of this city, whom 'tis better
ne'er to name, my said brother, the skipgod, expulled for
looking at churches from behind, who is sender of the Hullo
Eve Cenograph in prose and worse every Allso's night. High
Brazil Brandan's Deferred, midden Erse clare language, Nought-
noughtnought nein. Assass. Dublire, per Neuropaths. Punk.
Starving today plays punk opening tomorrow two plays punk
wire splosh how two plays punk Cabler. Have you forgotten
poor Alby Sobrinos, Geoff, you blighter, identifiable by the
necessary white patch on his rear? How he went to his swilters-
land after his lungs, my sad late brother, before his coglionial
expancian? Won't you join me in a small halemerry, a bottle of
the best, for wellmet Capeler, united Irishmen, what though pre-
ferring the stranger, the coughs and the itches and the minnies
and the ratties the opulose and bilgenses, for of his was the
patriots mistaken. The heart that wast our Graw McGree!
Yet be there some who mourn him, concluding him dead,
and more there be that wait astand. His fuchs up the staires
and the ladgers in his haires, he ought to win that V.V.C.
Fullgrapce for an endupper, half muxy on his whole! Would
he were even among the lost! From ours bereft beyond be-
longs. Oremus poor fraternibus that he may yet escape the
gallews and still remain ours faithfully departed. I wronged you.
I never want to see more of bad men but I want to learn from
any on the airse, like Tass with much thanks, here's ditto, if
he lives sameplace in the antipathies of austrasia or anywhere
with my fawngest on his hooshmoney, safe and damned, or
has hopped it or who can throw any lime on the sopjack,
my fond fosther, E. Obiit Nolan, The Workings, N.S.W.,
his condition off the Venerable Jerrybuilt, not belonging to
these parts, who, I remember ham to me, when we were like
bro and sis over our castor and porridge, with his roamin I
suppose, expecting for his clarenx negus, a teetotum abstainer.
He feels he ought to be as asamed of me as me to be ashunned of
him. We were in one class of age like to two clots of egg. I am
most beholding to him, my namesick, as we sayed it in our Am-
harican, through the Doubly Telewisher. Outpassed hearts wag
short pertimes. Worndown shoes upon his feet, to whose re-
dress no tongue can tell! In his hands a boot! Spare me, do, a
copper or two and happy I'll hope you'll be! It will pleased
me behind with thanks from before and love to self and all I
remain here your truly friend. I am no scholar but I loved that
man who has africot lupps with the moonshane in his profile,
my shemblable! My freer! I call you my halfbrother because
you in your soberer otiumic moments remind me deeply of my
natural saywhen brothel in feed, hop and jollity, S. H. Devitt,
that benighted irismaimed, who is tearly belaboured by Sydney
and Alibany.
— As you sing it it's a study. That letter selfpenned to one's
other, that neverperfect everplanned?
— This nonday diary, this allnights newseryreel.
— My dear sir! In this wireless age any owl rooster can peck
up bostoons. But whoewaxed he so anquished? Was he vector
victored of victim vexed?
— Mighty sure! Way way for his wehicul! A parambolator
ram into his bagsmall when he was reading alawd, with two eco-
lites and he's been failing of that kink in his arts over sense.
— Madonagh and Chiel, idealist leading a double life! But who,
for the brilliance of brothers, is the Nolan as appearant nominally?
— Mr Nolan is pronuminally Mr Gottgab.
— I get it. By hearing his thing about a person one begins to
place him for a certain in true. You reeker, he stands pat for
you before a direct object in the feminine. I see. By maiden
sname. Now, I am earnestly asking you, and putting it as
between this yohou and that houmonymh, will just you search
through your gabgut memoirs for all of two minutes for this
impersonating pronolan, fairhead on foulshoulders. Would it be
in twofold truth an untaken mispatriate, too fullfully true and
rereally a doblinganger much about your own medium with a
sandy whiskers? Poke me nabs in the ribs and pick the erstwort
out of his mouth.
— Treble Stauter of Holy Baggot Street, formerly Sword-
meat, who I surpassed him lately for four and six bringing home
the Christmas, as heavy as music, hand to eyes on the peer for
Noel's Arch, in blessed foster's place is doing the dirty on me
with his tantrums and all these godforgiven kilowatts I'd be
better off without. She's write to him she's levt by me, Jenny
Rediviva! Toot! Detter for you, Mr Nobru. Toot toot! Better for
you, Mr Anol! This is the way we. Of a redtettetterday morning.
— When your contraman from Tuwarceathay is looking for
righting that is not a good sign? Not?
— I speak truly, it's a shower sign that it's not.
— What though it be for the sow of his heart? If even she
were a good pool Pegeen?
— If she ate your windowsill you wouldn't say sow.
— Would you be surprised after that my asking have you a
bull, a bosbully, with a whistle in his tail to scare other birds?
— I would.
— Were you with Sindy and Sandy attending Goliath, a bull?
— You'd make me sag what you like to. I was intending a
funeral. Simply and samply.
— They are too wise of solbing their silbings?
— And both croon to the same theme.
— Tugbag is Baggut's, when a crispin sokolist besoops juts
kamps or clapperclaws an irvingite offthedocks. A luckchange, I
see. Thinking young through the muddleage spread, the moral
fat his mental leans on. We can cop that with our straat that is
called corkscrewed. It would be the finest boulevard billy for a
mile in every direction, from Lismore to Cape Brendan, Patrick's,
if they took the bint out of the mittle of it. You told of a tryst
too, two a tutu. I wonder now, without releasing seeklets of the
alcove, turturs or raabraabs, have I heard mention of whose name
anywhere? Mallowlane or Demaasch? Strike us up either end
Have You Erred off Van Homper or Ebell Teresa Kane.
— Marak! Marak! Marak!
He drapped has draraks an Mansianhase parak
And he had ta barraw tha watarcrass shartclaths aff the ark-
bashap af Yarak!
— Braudribnob's on the bummel?
— And lillypets on the lea.
— A being again in becomings again. From the sallies to
the allies through their central power?
— Pirce! Perce! Quick! Queck!
— O Tara's thrush, the sharepusher! And he said he was only
taking the average grass temperature for green Thurdsday, the
blutchy scaliger! Who you know the musselman, his muscle
mum and mistlemam? Maomi, Mamie, My Mo Mum! He loves
a drary lane. Feel Phylliscitations to daff Mr Hairwigger who
has just hadded twinned little curls! He was resting between
horrockses' sheets, wailing for white warfare, prooboor welsht-
breton, and unbiassed by the embarrassment of disposal but, the
first woking day, by Thunder, he stepped into the breach and put
on his recriution trousers and riding apron in Baltic Bygrad, the
old soggy, was when the bold bhuoys of Iran wouldn't join up.
— How voice you that, nice Sandy man? Not large goodman
is he, Sandy nice. Ask him this one minute upthrow inner lotus
of his burly ear womit he dropped his Bass's to P flat. And for
that he was allaughed? And then baited? The whole gammat?
— Loonacied! Marterdyed!! Madwakemiherculossed!!! Ju-
dascessed!!!! Pairaskivvymenassed!!!!! Luredogged!!!!!! And,
needatellye, faulscrescendied!!!!!!!
— Dias domnas! Dolled to dolthood? And Annie Delittle,
his daintree diva, in deltic dwilights, singing him henpecked rusish
through the bars? My Wolossay's wild as the Crasnian Sea!
Grabashag, groogy, scoop and I'll cure ye! Mother of emeralds,
ara poog neighbours!
— Capilla, Rubrilla and Melcamomilla! Dauby, dauby, with-
out dulay! Well, I beg to traverse same above statement by saxy
luters in their back haul of Coalcutter what reflects upon my
administrants of slow poisoning as my dodear devere revered
mainhirr was confined to guardroom, I hindustand, by my pint
of his Filthered pilsens bottle due to Zenaphiah Holwell, H and
J. C. S, Which I was bringing up my quee parapotacarry's orders
in my sedown chair with my mudfacepacket from my cash
chemist and family drugger, Surager Dowling, V.S. to our aural
surgeon, Afamado Hairductor Achmed Borumborad, M.A.C.A,
Sahib, of a 1001 Ombrilla Street, Syringa padham, Alleypulley, to
see what was my watergood, my mesical wasserguss, for repairs
done by bollworm in the rere of pilch knickers, seven yerds to
his galandhar pole on perch, together with his for me unfillable
slopper, property of my deeply forfear revebereared, who is costing
us mostfortunes which I am writing in mepetition to Kavanagh
Djanaral, when he was sitting him humpbacked in dryfilthy-
heat to his trinidads pinslers at their orpentings, entailing a
laxative tendency to mary, especially with him being forbidden
fruit and certified by his sexular clergy to have as badazmy
emotional volvular, with a basketful of priesters crossing the
singorgeous to aroint him with tummy moor's maladies, and
thereinafter liable to succumb when served with letters potent
below the belch, if my rupee repure riputed husbandship H.R.R.
took a brief one in his shirtsails out of the alleged given mineral,
telling me see his in Foraignghistan sambat papers Sunday feac-
tures of a welcomed aperrytiff with vallad of Erill Pearcey O
he never battered one eagle's before paying me his duty on my
annaversary to the parroteyes list in my nil ensemble, in his lazy-
chair but he hidded up my hemifaces in all my mayarannies and
he locked plum into my mirrymouth like Ysamasy morning in
the end of time, with the so light's hope on his ruddycheeks and
rawjaws and, my charmer, whom I dipped my hand in, he simply
showed me his propendiculous loadpoker, Seaserpents hisses
sissastones, which was as then is produced in his mansway by
this wisest of the Vikramadityationists, with the remere remind
remure remark, in his gulughurutty: Yran for parasites with rum
for the turkeycockeys so Lithia, M.D., as this is for Snooker,
bort!
— Which was said by whem to whom?
— It wham. But whim I can't whumember.
— Fantasy! funtasy on fantasy, amnaes fintasies! And there is
nihil nuder under the clothing moon. When Ota, weewahrwificle
of Torquells, bumpsed her dumpsydiddle down in her woolsark
she mode our heuteyleutey girlery of peerlesses to set up in all
their bombossities of feudal fiertey, fanned, flounced and frangi-
panned, while the massstab whereby Ephialtes has exceeded is the
measure, simplex mendaciis, by which our Outis cuts his thruth.
Arkaway now!
— Yerds and nudes say ayes and noes! Vide! Vide!
— Let Eivin bemember for Gates of Gold for their fadeless
suns berayed her. Irise, Osirises! Be thy mouth given unto thee!
For why do you lack a link of luck to poise a pont of perfect,
peace? On the vignetto is a ragingoos. The overseer of the house
of the oversire of the seas, Nu-Men, triumphant, sayeth: Fly as
the hawk, cry as the corncrake, Ani Latch of the postern is thy
name; shout!
— My heart, my mother! My heart, my coming forth of
darkness! They know not my heart, O coolun dearast! Mon
gloomerie! Mon glamourie! What a surpraise, dear Mr Preacher,
I to hear from your strawnummical modesty! Yes, there was
that skew arch of chrome sweet home, floodlit up above the
flabberghosted farmament and bump where the camel got the
needle. Talk about iridecencies! Ruby and beryl and chrysolite,
jade, sapphire, jasper and lazul.
— Orca Bellona! Heavencry at earthcall, etnat athos? Extinct
your vulcanology for the lava of Moltens!
— It's you not me's in erupting, hecklar!
— Ophiuchus being visible above thorizon, muliercula oc-
cluded by Satarn's serpent ring system, the pisciolinnies Nova
Ardonis and Prisca Parthenopea, are a bonnies feature in the
northern sky. Ers, Mores and Merkery are surgents below the rim
of the Zenith Part while Arctura, Anatolia, Hesper and Mesembria
weep in their mansions over Noth, Haste, Soot and Waste.
— Apep and Uachet! Holy snakes, chase me charley, Eva's
got barley under her fluencies! The Ural Mount he's on the
move and he'll quivvy her with his strombolo! Waddlewurst,
the bag of tow, as broad above as he is below! Creeping
through the liongrass and bullsrusshius, the obesendean, before
the Emfang de Maurya's class, in Bill Shasser's Shotshrift writing
academy, camouflaged as a blancmange and maple syrop! Obei-
sance so their sitinins is the follicity of this Orp! Her sheik to
Slave, his dick to Dave and the fat of the land to Guygas. The
treadmill pebbledropper haha halfahead overground and she'd
only chitschats in her spanking bee bonetry, Allapolloosa! Up the
slanger! Three cheers and a heva heva for the name Dan Magraw!
— The giant sun is in his emanence but which is chief of those
white dwarfees of which he ever is surabanded? And do you think
I might have being his seventh! He will kitssle me on melbaw.
What about his age? says you. What about it? says I. I will
confess to his sins and blush me further. I would misdemean to
rebuke to the libels of snots from the fleshambles, the canalles.
Synamite is too good for them. Two overthirties in shore shor-
ties. She's askapot at Nile Lodge and she's citchincarry at the
left Mrs Hamazum's. Will you warn your old habasund, barking
at baggermen, his chokefull chewing his chain? Responsif you
plais. The said Sully, a barracker associated with tinkers, the
blackhand, Shovellyvans, wreuter of annoyimgmost letters and
skirriless ballets in Parsee Franch who is Magrath's thug and
smells cheaply of Power's spirits, like a deepsea dibbler, and he is
not fit enough to throw guts down to a bear. Sylphling me
when is a maid nought a maid he would go to anyposs length
for her! So long, Sulleyman! If they cut his nose on the stitcher
they had their siven good reasons. Here's to the leglift of my
snuff and trout stockangt henkerchoff, orange fin with a mosaic
of dispensations and a froren black patata, from my church milli-
ner. When Lynch Brother, Withworkers, Friends and Company
with T. C. King and the Warden of Galway is prepared to
stretch him sacred by the powers to the starlight, L.B.W. Hemp,
hemp, hurray! says the captain in the moonlight. I could put
him under my pallyass and slepp on him all nights as I would
roll myself for holy poly over his borrowing places. How we will
make laugh over him together, me and my Riley in the Vickar's
bed! Quink! says I. He cawls to me Granny-stream-Auborne
when I am hiding under my hair from him and I cool him my
Finnyking he's so joyant a bounder. Plunk! said he. Inasmuch
as I am delightful to be able to state, with the joy of lifing in my
forty winkers, that a handsome sovereign was freely pledged
in their pennis in the sluts maschine, alonging wath a cherry-
wickerkishabrack of maryfruit under Shadow La Rose, to both
the legintimate lady performers of display unquestionable, Elsebett
and Marryetta Gunning, H₂O, by that noblesse of leechers at
his Saxontannery with motto in Wwalshe's ffrenchllatin: O'Neill
saw Queen Molly's pants: and much admired engraving, meaning
complet manly parts during alleged recent act of our chief
mergey margey magistrades, five itches above the kneecap, as
required by statues. V.I.C.5.6. If you won't release me stop to
please me up the leg of me. Now you see! Respect. S.V.P.
Your wife. Amn. Anm. Amm. Ann.
— You wish to take us, Frui Mria, by degrees, as artis litterarum-
que patrona but I am afraid, my poor woman of that same
name, what with your silvanes and your salvines, you are misled.
— Alas for livings' pledjures!
— Lordy Daw and Lady Don! Uncle Foozle and Aunty
Jack! Sure, that old humbugger was boycotted and girlcutted
in debt and doom, on hill and haven, even by the show-the-flag
flotilla, as I'm given now to understand, illscribed in all the
gratuitouses and conspued in the takeyourhandaways. Bumbty,
tumbty, Sot on a Wall, Mute art for the Million. There wasn't an
Archimandrite of Dane's Island and the townlands nor a minx
from the Isle of Woman nor a one of the four cantins nor any on
the whole wheel of his ecunemical conciliabulum nor nogent
ingen meid on allad the hold scurface of the jorth would come
next or nigh him, Mr Eelwhipper, seed and nursery man, or
his allgas bumgalowre, Auxilium Meum Solo A Domino (Amsad),
for rime or ration, from piles or faces, after that.
— All ears did wag, old Eire wake as Piers Aurell was flapper-
gangsted.
— Recount!
— I have it here to my fingall's ends. This liggy piggy wanted
to go to the jampot. And this leggy peggy spelt pea. And theese
lucky puckers played at pooping tooletom. Ma's da. Da's ma.
Madas. Sadam.
— Pater patruum cum filiabus familiarum. Or, but, now, and,
ariring out of her mirgery margery watersheads and, to change
that subjunct from the traumaturgid for once in a while and dart-
ing back to stuff, if so be you may identify yourself with the him
in you, that fluctuous neck merchamtur, bloodfadder and milk-
mudder, since then our too many of her, Abha na Lifé, and getting
on to dadaddy again, as them we're ne'er free of, was he in tea
e'er he went on the bier or didn't he ontime do something seemly
heavy in sugar? He sent out Christy Columb and he came back
with a jailbird's unbespokables in his beak and then he sent out
Le Caron Crow and the peacies are still looking for him. The
seeker from the swayed, the beesabouties from the parent swarm.
Speak to the right! Rotacist ca canny! He caun ne'er be bothered
but maun e'er be waked. If there is a future in every past that is
present Quis est qui non novit quinnigan and Qui quae quot at
Quinnigan's Quake! Stump! His producers are they not his con-
sumers? Your exagmination round his factification for incam-
ination of a warping process. Declaim!
— Arra irrara hirrara man, weren't they arriving in clansdes-
tinies for the Imbandiment of Ad Regias Agni Dapes, fogabawlers
and panhibernskers, after the crack and the lean years, scalpjaggers
and houthhunters, like the messicals of the great god, a scarlet
trainful, the Twoedged Petrard, totalling, leggats and prelaps, in
their aggregate ages two and thirty plus undecimmed centries
of them with insiders, extraomnes and tuttifrutties allcunct, from
Rathgar, Rathanga, Rountown and Rush, from America Avenue
and Asia Place and the Affrian Way and Europa Parade and be-
sogar the wallies of Noo Soch Wilds and from Vico, Mespil
Rock and Sorrento, for the lure of his weal and the fear of his
oppidumic, to his salon de espera in the keel of his kraal, like
lodes of ores flocking fast to Mount Maximagnetic, afeerd he was
a gunner but affaird to stay away, Merrionites, Dumstdumb-
drummers, Luccanicans, Ashtoumers, Batterysby Parkes and
Krumlin Boyards, Phillipsburgs, Cabraists and Finglossies,
Ballymunites, Raheniacs and the bettlers of Clontarf, for to con-
template in manifest and pay their firstrate duties before the both
of him, twelve stone a side, with their Thieve le Rouè! and their
Shvr yr Thrst! and their Uisgye ad Inferos! and their Usque ad
Ebbraios! at and in the licensed boosiness primises of his del-
hightful bazar and reunited magazine hall, by the magazine wall,
Hosty's and Co, Exports, for his five hundredth and sixtysixth
borthday, the grand old Magennis Mor, Persee and Rahli, taker
of the tributes, their Rinseky Poppakork and Piowtor the Grape,
holding Dunker's durbar, boot kings and indiarubber umpires
and shawhs from paisley and muftis in muslim and sultana
reiseines and jordan almonders and a row of jam sahibs and a
odd principeza in her pettedcoat and the queen of knight's clubs
and the claddagh ringleaders and the two salaames and the Halfa
Ham and the Hanzas Khan with two fat Maharashers and the
German selver geyser and he polished up, protemptible, tintanam-
bulating to himsilf so silfrich, and there was J. B. Dunlop, the
best tyrent of ourish times, and a swanks of French wine stuarts
and Tudor keepsakes and the Cesarevitch for the current coun-
ter Leodegarius Sant Legerleger riding lapsaddlelonglegs up the
oakses staircase on muleback like Amaxodias Isteroprotos, hind-
quarters to the fore and kick to the lift, and he handygrabbed on
to his trulley natural anthem: Horsibus, keep your tailyup, and
as much as the halle of the vacant fhroneroom, Oldloafs
Buttery, could safely accomodate of the houses of Orange and
Betters M.P, permeated by Druids D.P, Brehons B.P, and
Flawhoolags F.P, and Agiapommenites A.P, and Antepum-
melites P.P, and Ulster Kong and Munster's Herald with
Athclee Ensigning and Athlone Poursuivant and his Imperial
Catchering, his fain awan, and his gemmynosed sanctsons
in epheud and ordilawn and his diamondskulled granddaucher,
Adamantaya Liubokovskva, all murdering Irish, amok and
amak, out of their boom companions in paunchjab and dogril
and pammel and gougerotty, after plenty of his fresh stout and
his good balls of malt, not to forget his oels a'mona nor his beers
o'ryely, sopped down by his pani's annagolorum, (at Kennedy's
kiln she kned her dough, back of her bake for me, buns!) social-
izing and communicanting in the deification of his members, for
to nobble or salvage their herobit of him, the poohpooher old
bolssloose, with his arthurious clayroses, Dodderick Ogonoch
Wrack, busted to the wurld at large, on the table round, with the
floodlight switched back, as true as the Vernons have Brian's
sword, and a dozen and one by one tilly tallows round in ring-
campf, circumassembled by his daughters in the foregiftness of
his sons, lying high as he lay in all dimensions, in court dress and
ludmers chain, with a hogo, fluorescent of his swathings, round
him, like the cummulium of scents in an italian warehouse, erica's
clustered on his hayir, the spectrem of his prisent mocking the
candiedights of his dadtid, bagpuddingpodded to the deafspot,
bewept of his chilidrin and serafim, poors and personalities, ven-
turous, drones and dominators, ancients and auldancients, with
his buttend up, expositoed for sale after referee's inspection,
bulgy and blowrious, bunged to ignorious, healed cured and
embalsemate, pending a rouseruction of his bogey, most highly
astounded, as it turned up, after his life overlasting, at thus being
reduced to nothing.
— Bappy-go-gully and gaff for us all! And all his morties
calisenic, tripping a trepas, neniatwantyng: Mulo Mulelo! Homo
Humilo! Dauncy a deady O! Dood dood dood! O Bawse! O
Boese! O Muerther! O Mord! Mahmato! Moutmaro! O Smir-
tsch! O Smertz! Woh Hillill! Woe Hallall! Thou Thuoni! Thou
Thaunaton! Umartir! Udamnor! Tschitt! Mergue! Eulumu!
Huam Khuam! Malawinga! Malawunga! Ser Oh Ser! See ah
See! Hamovs! Hemoves! Mamor! Rockquiem eternuel give donal
aye in dolmeny! Bat luck's perpepperpot loosen his eyis! (Psich!).
— But there's leps of flam in Funnycoon's Wick. The keyn
has passed. Lung lift the keying!
— God save you king! Muster of the Hidden Life!
— God serf yous kingly, adipose rex! I had four in the morn-
ing and a couple of the lunch and three later on, but your saouls
to the dhaoul, do ye. Finnk. Fime. Fudd?
— Impassable tissue of improbable liyers! D'yu mean to sett
there where y'are now, coddlin your supernumerary leg, wi'that
bizar tongue in yur tolkshap, and your hindies and shindies, like a
muck in a market, Sorley boy, repeating yurself, and tell me that?
— I mean to sit here on this altknoll where you are now,
Surly guy, replete in myself, as long as I live, in my homespins,
like a sleepingtop, with all that's buried ofsins insince insensed
insidesofme. If I can't upset this pound of pressed ollaves I can
sit up zounds of sounds upon him.
— Oliver! He may be an earthpresence. Was that a groan or
did I hear the Dingle bagpipes Wasting war and? Watch!
— Tris tris a ni ma mea! Prisoner of Love! Bleating Hart!
Lowlaid Herd! Aubain Hand! Wonted Foot! Usque! Usque!
Usque! Lignum in . . .
— Rawth of Gar and Donnerbruck Fire? Is the strays world
moving mound or what static babel is this, tell us?
— Whoishe whoishe whoishe whoishe linking in? Whoishe
whoishe whoishe?
— The snare drum! Lay yer lug till the groun. The dead giant
manalive! They're playing thimbles and bodkins. Clan of the
Gael! Hop! Whu's within?
— Dovegall and finshark, they are ring to the rescune!
— Zinzin. Zinzin.
— Crum abu! Cromwell to victory!
— We'll gore them and gash them and gun them and gloat on
them.
— Zinzin.
— O, widows and orphans, it's the yeomen! Redshanks for
ever! Up Lancs!
— The cry of the roedeer it is! The white hind. Their slots,
linklink, the hound hunthorning! Send us and peace! Title! Title!
— Christ in our irish times! Christ on the airs independence!
Christ hold the freedman's chareman! Christ light the dully
expressed!
— Slog slagt and sluaghter! Rape the daughter! Choke the
pope!
— Aure! Cloudy father! Unsure! Nongood!
— Zinzin.
— Sold! I am sold! Brinabride! My ersther! My sidster!
Brinabride, goodbye! Brinabride! I sold!
— Pipette dear! Us! Us! Me! Me!
— Fort! Fort! Bayroyt! March!
— Me! I'm true. True! Isolde. Pipette. My precious!
— Zinzin.
— Brinabride, bet my price! Brinabride!
— My price, my precious?
— Zin.
— Brinabride, my price! When you sell get my price!
— Zin.
— Pipette! Pipette, my priceless one!
— O! Mother of my tears! Believe for me! Fold thy son!
— Zinzin. Zinzin.
— Now we're gettin it. Tune in and pick up the forain
counties! Hello!
— Zinzin.
— Hello! Tittit! Tell your title?
— Abride!
— Hellohello! Ballymacarett! Am I thru' Iss? Miss? True?
— Tit! What is the ti . . ?

SILENCE.

Act drop. Stand by! Blinders! Curtain up. Juice, please! Foots!
— Hello! Are you Cigar shank and Wheat?
— I gotye. Gobble Ann's Carrot Cans.
— Parfey. Now, after that justajiff siesta, just permit me a
moment. Challenger's Deep is childsplay to this but, by our
soundings in the swish channels, land is due. A truce to demobbed
swarwords. Clear the line, priority call! Sybil! Better that or
this? Sybil Head this end! Better that way? Follow the baby spot.
Yes. Very good now. We are again in the magnetic field. Do
you remember on a particular lukesummer night, following a
crying fair day? Moisten your lips for a lightning strike and begin
again. Mind the flickers and dimmers! Better?
— Well. The isles is Thymes. The ales is Penzance. Vehement
Genral. Delhi expulsed.
— Still calling of somewhave from its specific? Not more?
Lesscontinuous. There were fires on every bald hill in holy
Ireland that night. Better so?
— You may say they were, son of a cove!
— Were they bonfires? That clear?
— No other name would at all befit them unless that. Bona-
fieries! With their blue beards streaming to the heavens.
— Was it a high white night now?
— Whitest night mortal ever saw.
— Was our lord of the heights nigh our lady of the valley?
— He was hosting himself up and flosting himself around and
ghosting himself to merry her murmur like an andeanupper
balkan.
— Lewd's carol! Was there rain by any chance, mistandew?
— Plenty. If you wend farranoch.
— There fell some fall of littlewinter snow, holy-as-ivory,
I gather, jesse?
— By snaachtha clocka. The nicest at all. In hilly-and-even
zimalayars.
— Did it not blow some gales, westnass or ostscent, rather
strongly to less, allin humours out of turn, jusse as they rose and
sprungen?
— Out of all jokes it did. Pipep! Icecold. Brr na brr, ny prr!
Lieto galumphantes!
— Stll cllng! Nmr! Peace, Pacific! Do you happen to recollect
whether Muna, that highlucky nackt, was shining at all?
— Sure she was, my midday darling! And not one but a pair
of pritty geallachers.
— Quando? Quonda? Go datey!
— Latearly! Latearly! Latearly! Latearly!
— That was latterlig certainly. And was there frostwork
about and thick weather and hice, soon calid, soon frozen, cold on
warm but moistly dry, and a boatshaped blanket of bruma air-
sighs and hellstohns and flammballs and vodashouts and every-
thing to please everybody?
— Hail many fell of greats! Horey morey smother of fog!
There was, so plays your ahrtides. Absolutely boiled.
Obsoletely cowled. Julie and Lulie at their parkiest.
— The amenities, the amenities of the amenities with all their
amenities. And the firmness of the formous of the famous of the
fumous of the first fog in Maidanvale?
— Catchecatche and couchamed!
— From Miss Somer's nice dream back to Winthrop's
delugium stramens. One expects that kind of rimey feeling in the
sire season?
— One certainly does. Desire, for hire, would tire a shire,
phone, phunkel, or wire. And mares.
— Of whitecaps any?
— Foamflakes flockfuyant from Foxrock to Finglas.
— A lambskip for the marines! Paronama! The entire hori-
zon cloth! All effects in their joints caused ways. Raindrum,
windmachine, snowbox. But thundersheet?
— No here. Under the blunkets.
— This common or garden is now in stilller realithy the
starey sphere of an oleotorium for broken pottery and ancient
vegetables?
— Simply awful the dirt. An evernasty ashtray.
— I see. Now do you know the wellknown kikkinmidden
where the illassorted first couple first met with each other? The
place where Ealdermann Fanagan? The time when Junkermenn
Funagin?
— Deed then I do, W.K.
— In Fingal too they met at Littlepeace aneath the bidetree,
Yellowhouse of Snugsborough, Westreeve-Astagob and Sluts-
end with Stockins of Winning's Folly Merryfalls, all of a two,
skidoo and skephumble?
— Godamedy, you're a delville of a tolkar!
— Is it a place fairly exspoused to the four last winds?
— Well, I faithly sincerely believe so indeed if all what I hope
to charity is half true.
— This stow on the wolds, is it Woful Dane Bottom?
— It is woful in need whatever about anything or allselse
under the grianblachk sun of gan greyne Eireann.
— A tricolour ribbon that spells a caution. The old flag, the cold
flag.
— The flagstone. By tombs, deep and heavy. To the unaveiling
memory of. Peacer the grave.
— And what sigeth Woodin Warneung thereof?
— Trickspissers vill be pairsecluded.
— There used to be a tree stuck up? An overlisting eshtree?
— There used, sure enough. Beside the Annar. At the ford
of Slivenamond. Oakley Ashe's elm. With a snoodrift from one
beerchen bough. And the grawndest crowndest consecrated may-
pole in all the reignladen history of Wilds. Browne's Thesaurus
Plantarum from Nolan's, The Prittlewell Press, has nothing alike
it. For we are fed of its forest, clad in its wood, burqued by its
bark and our lecture is its leave. The cran, the cran, the king of all
crans. Squiremade and damesman of plantagenets, high and holy.
— Now, no hiding your wren under a bushle! What was it
doing there, for instance?
— Standing foreninst us.
— In Summerian sunshine?
— And in Cimmerian shudders.
— You saw it visibly from your hidingplace?
— No. From my invisibly lyingplace.
— And you then took down in stereo what took place being
tunc committed?
— I then tuk my takenplace lying down, I thunk I told you.
Solve it!
— Remounting aliftle towards the ouragan of spaces. Just
how grand in cardinal rounders is this preeminent giant, sir
Arber? Your bard's highview, avis on valley! I would like to hear
you burble to us in strict conclave, purpurando, and without
too much italiote interfairance, what you know in petto about our
sovereign beingstalk, Tonans Tomazeus. O dite!
— Corcor Andy, Udi, Udite! Your Ominence, Your Immi-
nence and delicted fraternitrees! There's tuodore queensmaids
and Idahore shopgirls and they woody babies growing upon her
and bird flamingans sweenyswinging fuglewards on the tipmast
and Orania epples playing hopptociel bommptaterre and Ty-
burn fenians snoring in his quickenbole and crossbones strewing
its holy floor and culprines of Erasmus Smith's burstall boys
with their underhand leadpencils climbing to her crotch for the
origin of spices and charlotte darlings with silk blue askmes
chattering in dissent to them, gibbonses and gobbenses, guelfing
and ghiberring proferring praydews to their anatolies and blight-
ing findblasts on their catastripes and the killmaimthem pen-
sioners chucking overthrown milestones up to her to fall her
cranberries and her pommes annettes for their unnatural refection
and handpainted hoydens plucking husbands of him and cock
robins muchmore hatching most out of his missado eggdrazzles
for him, the sun and moon pegging honeysuckle and white
heather down and timtits tapping resin there and tomahawks
watching tar elsewhere, creatures of the wold approaching him,
hollow mid ivy, for to claw and rub, hermits of the desert
barking their infernal shins over her triliteral roots and his acorns
and pinecorns shooting wide all sides out of him, plantitude
outsends of plenty to thousands, after the truants of the utmost-
fear and her downslyder in that snakedst-tu-naughsy whimmering
woman't seeleib such a fashionaping sathinous dress out of that
exquisitive creation and her leaves, my darling dearest, sinsin-
sinning since the night of time and each and all of their branches
meeting and shaking twisty hands all over again in their new
world through the germination of its gemination from Ond's
outset till Odd's end. And encircle him circuly. Evovae!
— Is it so exaltated, eximious, extraoldandairy and excels-
siorising?
— Amengst menlike trees walking or trees like angels weep-
ing nobirdy aviar soar anywing to eagle it! But rocked of agues,
cliffed for aye!
— Telleth that eke the treeth?
— Mushe, mushe of a mixness.
— A shrub of libertine, indeed! But that steyne of law indead
what stiles its neming?
— Tod, tod, too hard parted!
— I've got that now, Dr Melamanessy. Finight mens mid-
infinite true. The form masculine. The gender feminine. I see.
Now, are you derevatov of it yourself in any way? The true
tree I mean? Let's hear what science has to say, pundit-the-
next-best-king. Splanck!
— Upfellbowm.
— It reminds of the weeping of the daughters?
— And remounts to the sense arrest.
— The wittold, the frausch and the dibble! How this loose-
affair brimsts of fussforus! And was this treemanangel on his
soredbohmend because Knockout, the knickknaver, knacked
him in the knechtschaft?
— Well, he was ever himself for the presention of crudities to
animals for he had put his own nickelname on every toad, duck
and herring before the climber clomb aloft, doing the midhill of
the park, flattering his bitter hoolft with her conconundrums.
He would let us have the three barrels. Such was a bitte too thikke
for the Muster of the hoose so as he called down on the Grand
Precurser who coiled him a crawler of the dupest dye and
thundered at him to flatch down off that erection and be aslimed
of himself for the bellance of hissch leif.
— Oh Finlay's coldpalled!
— Ahday's begatem!
— Were you there, eh Hehr? Were you there when they
lagged um through the coombe?
— Wo wo! Who who! Psalmtimes it grauws on me to ramble,
ramble, ramble.
— Woe! Woe! So that was how he became the foerst of our
treefellers?
— Yesche and, in the absence of any soberiquiet, the fanest
of our truefalluses. Bapsbaps Bomslinger!
— How near do you feel to this capocapo promontory, sir?
— There do be days of dry coldness between us when he does
be like a lidging house far far astray and there do be nights of wet
windwhistling when he does be making me onions woup all kinds
of ways.
— Now you are mehrer the murk, Lansdowne Road. She's
threwed her pippin's thereabouts and they've cropped up tooth
oneydge with hates to leaven this socried isle. Now, thornyborn,
follow the spotlight, please! Concerning a boy. Are you acquainted
with a pagany, vicariously known as Toucher 'Thom' who is. I
suggest Finoglam as his habitat. Consider yourself on the stand
now and watch your words, take my advice. Let your motto be:
Inter nubila numbum.
— Never you mind about my mother or her hopitout. I con-
sider if I did, I would feel frightfully ashamed of admired vice.
— He is a man of around fifty, struck on Anna Lynsha's
Pekoe with milk and whisky, who does messuages and has more
dirt on him than an old dog has fleas, kicking stones and knocking
snow off walls. Have you ever heard of this old boy "Thom" or
"Thim" of the fishy stare who belongs to Kimmage, a crofting dis-
trict, and is not all there, and is all the more himself since he is
not so, being most of his time down at the Green Man where he
steals, pawns, belches and is a curse, drinking gaily two hours after
closing time, with the coat on him skinside out against rappari-
tions, with his socks outsewed his springsides, clapping his hands
in a feeble sort of way and systematically mixing with the public
going for groceries, slapping greats and littlegets soundly with
his cattegut belts, flapping baresides and waltzywembling about
in his accountrements always in font of the tubbernuckles, like
a longarmed lugh, when he would be finished with his tea?
— Is it that fellow? As mad as the brambles he is. Touch him.
With the lawyers sticking to his trewsershins and the swatme-
notting on the basque of his beret. He has kissed me more than
once, I am sorry to say and if I did commit gladrolleries may the
loone forgive it! O wait till I tell you!
— We are not going yet.
— And look here! Here's, my dear, what he done, as snooks
as I am saying so!
— Get out, you dirt! A strangely striking part of speech for
the hottest worked word of ur sprogue. You're not! Unhindered
and odd times? Mere thumbshow? Lately?
— How do I know? Such my billet. Buy a barrack pass. Ask
the horneys. Tell the robbers.
— You are alluding to the picking pockets in Lower O'Connell
Street?
— I am illuding to the Pekin packet but I am eluding from
Laura Connor's treat.
— Now, just wash and brush up your memoirias a little bit.
So I find, referring to the pater of the present man, an erely de-
mented brick thrower, I am wondering to myself in my mind,
qua our arc of the covenant, was Toucher, a methodist, whose
name, as others say, is not really 'Thom', was this salt son of a
century from Boaterstown, Shivering William, the sealiest old for-
ker ever hawked crannock, who is always with him at the Big Elm
and the Arch after his teeth were shaken out of their suckets by the
wrang dog, for having 5 pints 73 of none Eryen blood in him abaft
the seam level, the scatterling, wearing his cowbeamer and false
clothes of a brewer's grains pattern with back buckons with his
motto on, Yule Remember, ostensibly for that occasion only of the
twelfth day Pax and Quantum wedding, I'm wondering.
— I bet you are. Well, he was wandering, you bet, whatever
was his matter, in his mind too, give him his due, for I am sorry
to have to tell you, hullo and evoe, they were coming down from
off him.
— How culious an epiphany!
— Hodie casus esobhrakonton?
— It looked very like it.
— Needer knows necess and neither garments. Man is minded
of the Meagher, wat? Wooly? Walty?
— Ay, another good button gone wrong.
— Blondman's blaff! Like a skib leaked lintel the arbour
leidend with . . .?
— Pamelas, peggylees, pollywollies, questuants, quaint-
aquilties, quickamerries.
— Concaving now convexly to the semidemihemispheres and,
from the female angle, music minnestirring, were the subligate
sisters, P. and Q., Clopatrick's cherierapest, mutatis mutandis,
in pretty much the same pickle, the peach of all piedom, the
quest of all quicks?
— Peequeen ourselves, the prettiest pickles of unmatchemable
mute antes I ever bopeeped at, seesaw shallshee, since the town go
went gonning on Pranksome Quaine.
— Silks apeel and sulks alusty?
— Boy and giddle, gape and bore.
— I hear these two goddesses are liable to sue him?
— Well, I hope the two Collinses don't leg a bail to shoot him.
— Both were white in black arpists at cloever spilling, knickt?
— Gels bach, I, languised, liszted. Etoudies for the right hand.
— Were they now? And were they watching you as watcher
as well?
— Where do you get that wash? This representation does not
accord with my experience. They were watching the watched
watching. Vechers all.
— Good. Hold that watching brief and keep this witching
longuer. Now, retouching friend Tomsky, the enemy, did you
gather much from what he let drop? We are sitting here for that.
— I was rooshian mad, no lie. About his shapeless hat.
— I suspect you must have been.
— You are making your thunderous mistake. But I was dung
sorry for him too.
— O Schaum! Not really? Were you sorry you were mad
with him then?
— When I tell you I was rooshiamarodnimad with myself
altogether, so I was, for being sorry for him.
— So?
— Absolutely.
— Would you blame him at all stages?
— I believe in many an old stager. But what seemed sooth to
a Greek summed nooth to a giantle. Who kills the cat in Cairo
coaxes cocks in Gaul.
— I put it to you that this was solely in his sunflower state
and that his haliodraping het was why maids all sighed for him,
ventured and vied for him. Hm?
— After Putawayo, Kansas, Liburnum and New Aimstir-
dames, it wouldn't surprise me in the very least.
— That tare and this mole, your tear and our smile. 'Tis life
that lies if woman's eyes have been our old undoing. Lid efter lid.
Reform in mine size his deformation. Tiffpuff up my nostril,
would you puff the earthworm outer my ear.
— He could claud boose his eyes to the birth of his garce, he
could lump all his lot through the half of her play, but he jest
couldn't laugh through the whole of her farce becorpse he warn't
billed that way. So he outandouts his volimetangere and has a
lightning consultation and he downadowns his pantoloogions
and made a piece of first perpersonal puetry that staystale re-
mains to be. Cleaned.
— Booms of bombs and heavy rethudders?
— This aim to you!
— The tail, so mastrodantic, as you tell it nearly takes your
own mummouth's breath away. Your troppers are so unrelieved
because his troopers were in difficulties. Still let stultitiam done
in veino condone ineptias made of veritues. How many were
married on that top of all strapping mornings, after the midnight
turkay drive, my good watcher?
— Puppaps. That'd be telling. With a hoh frohim and heh
fraher. But, as regards to Tammy Thornycraft, Idefyne the lawn
mare and the laney moweress and all the prentisses of wildes to
massage him.
— Now from Gunner Shotland to Guinness Scenography.
Come to the ballay at the Tailors' Hall. We mean to be mellay on
the Mailers' Mall. And leap, rink and make follay till the Gaelers'
Gall. Awake! Come, a wake! Every old skin in the leather world,
infect the whole stock company of the old house of the Leaking
Barrel, was thomistically drunk, two by two, lairking o' tootlers
with tombours a'beggars, the blog and turfs and the brandywine
bankrompers, trou Normend fashion, I have been told down to
the bank lean clorks? Some nasty blunt clubs were being operated
after the tradition of a wellesleyan bottle riot act and a few plates
were being shied about and tumblers bearing traces of fresh
porter rolling around, independent of that, for the ehren of Fyn's
Insul, and then followed that wapping breakfast at the Heaven
and Covenant, with Rodey O'echolowing how his breadcost on
the voters would be a comeback for e'er a one, like the depre-
dations of Scandalknivery, in and on usedtowobble sloops off
cloasts, eh? Would that be a talltale too? This was the grandsire
Orther. This was his innwhite horse. Sip?
— Well, naturally he was, louties also genderymen. Being
Kerssfesstiydt. They came from all lands beyond the wave for
songs of Inishfeel. Whiskway and mortem! No puseyporcious
either, invitem kappines all round. But the right reverend priest,
Mr Hopsinbond, and the reverent bride eleft, Frizzy Fraufrau,
were sober enough. I think they were sober.
— I think you're widdershins there about the right reverence.
Magraw for the Northwhiggern cupteam was wedding beastman,
papers before us carry. You saw him hurriedly, or did you if
thatseme's not irrelevant? With Slater's hammer perhaps? Or he
was in serge?
— I horridly did. On the stroke of the dozen. I'm sure I'm
wrong but I heard the irreverend Mr Magraw, in search of a
stammer, kuckkuck kicking the bedding out of the old sexton,
red-Fox Good-man around the sacristy, till they were bullbeadle
black and bufeteer blue, while I and Flood and the other men,
jazzlike brollies and sesuos, was gickling his missus to gackles in
the hall, the divileen, (she's a lamp in her throth) with her
cygncygn leckle and her twelve pound lach.
— A loyal wifish woman cacchinic wheepingcaugh! While
she laylylaw was all their rage. But you did establish personal
contact? In epexegesis or on a point of order?
— That perkumiary pond is beyawnd my pinnigay pre-
tonsions. I am resting on a pigs of cheesus but I've a big
suggestion it was about the pint of porter.
— You are a suckersome! But this all, as airs said to oska,
was only that childbearer might blogas well sidesplit? Where
letties hereditate a dark mien swart hairy?
— Only. 'Twas womans' too woman with mans' throw man.
— Bully burley yet hardly hurley. The saloon bulkhead, did
you say, or the tweendecks?
— Between drinks, I deeply painfully repeat it.
— Was she wearing shubladey's tiroirs in humour of her
hubbishobbis, Massa's star stellar?
— Mrs Tan-Taylour? Just a floating panel, secretairslid-
ingdraws, a budge of klees on her schalter, a siderbrass sehdass
on her anulas findring and forty crocelips in her curlingthongues.
— So this was the dope that woolied the cad that kinked the
ruck that noised the rape that tried the sap that hugged the mort?
— That legged in the hoax that joke bilked.
— The jest of junk the jungular?
— Jacked up in a jock the wrapper.
— Lollgoll! You don't soye so! All upsydown her whole
creation? So there was nothing serical between you? And Dry-
salter, father of Izod, how was he now?
— To the pink, man, like an allmanox in his shirt and stickup,
brustall to the bear, the Megalomagellan of our winevatswater-
way, squeezing the life out of the liffey.
— Crestofer Carambas! Such is zodisfaction. You punk me!
He came, he kished, he conquered. Vulturuvarnar! The must of
his glancefull coaxing the beam in her eye? That musked bell of
this masked ball! Annabella, Lovabella, Pullabella, yep?
— Yup! Titentung Tollertone in S. Sabina's. Aye aye, she
was lithe and pleasable. Wilt thou the lee? Wilt thou the hee?
Wilt thou the hussif?
— The quicker the deef the safter the sapstaff, but the main
the mightier the stricker the strait. To the vast go the game! It
is the circumconversioning of antelithual paganelles by a hugger-
knut cramwell energuman, or the caecodedition of an absque-
litteris puttagonnianne to the herreraism of a cabotinesque ex-
ploser?
— I believe you. Taiptope reelly, O reely!
— Nautaey, nautaey, we're nowhere without ye! In steam of
kavos now arbatos above our hearths doth hum. And Malkos
crackles logs of fun while Anglys cheers our ingles. So lent she
him ear to burrow his manhood (or so it appierce) and borrow
his namas? Suilful eyes and sallowfoul hairweed and the sickly
sigh from her gingering mouth like a Dublin bar in the moarning.
— Primus auriforasti me.
— The park is gracer than the hole, says she, but shekleton's
my fortune?
— Eversought of being artained? You've soft a say with ye,
Flatter O'Ford, that, honey, I hurdley chew you.
— Is that answers?
— It am queery!
— The house was Toot and Come-Inn by the bridge called
Tiltass, but are you solarly salemly sure, beyond the shatter of
the canicular year? Nascitur ordo seculi numfit.
— Siriusly and selenely sure behind the shutter. Securius indicat
umbris tellurem.
— Date as? Your time of immersion? We are still in drought
of. . . ?
— Amnis Dominae, Marcus of Corrig. A laughin hunter and
Purty Sue.
— And crazyheaded Jorn, the bulweh born?
— Fluteful as his orkan. Ex ugola lenonem.
— And Jambs, of Delphin's Bourne or (as olders lay) of
Tophat?
— Dawncing the kniejinksky choreopiscopally like an easter
sun round the colander, the vice! Taranta boontoday! You
should pree him prance the polcat, you whould sniff him wops
around, you should hear his piedigrotts schraying as his skimpies
skirp a . . .
— Crashedafar Corumbas! A Czardanser indeed! Dervilish
glad too. Ortovito semi ricordo. The pantaglionic affection
through his blood like a bad influenza in a leap at bounding
point?
— Out of Prisky Poppagenua, the palsied old priamite, home
from Edwin Hamilton's Christmas pantaloonade, Oropos Roxy
and Pantharhea at the Gaiety, trippudiating round the aria, with
his fiftytwo heirs of age! They may reel at his likes but it's Noeh
Bonum's shin do.
— And whit what was Lillabil Issabil maideve, maid at?
— Trists and thranes and trinies and traines.
— A take back to the virgin page, darm it!
— Ay, graunt ye.
— The quobus quartet were there too, if I mistake not, as a
sideline but, pace the contempt of senate, well to the fore, in an
amenessy meeting, metandmorefussed to decide whereagainwhen
to meet themselves flopsome and jerksome, lubber and deliric,
drinking unsteadily through the Kerry quadrilles and Listowel
lancers and mastersinging always with that consecutive fifth of
theirs, eh? Like four wise elephants inandouting under a twelve-
podestalled table?
— They were simple scandalmongers, that familiar, and all!
Normand, Desmond, Osmund and Kenneth. Making mejical
history all over the show!
— In sum, some hum? And other marrage feats?
— All our stakes they were astumbling round the ranky roars
assumbling when Big Arthur flugged the field at Annie's courting.
— Suddenly some wellfired clay was cast out through the
schappsteckers of hoy's house?
— Schottenly there was a hellfire club kicked out through the
wasistas of Thereswhere.
— Like Heavystost's envil catacalamitumbling. Three days
three times into the Vulcuum?
— Punch!
— Or Noe et Ecclesiastes, nonne?
— Ninny, there is no hay in Eccles's hostel.
— Yet an I saw a sign of him, if you could scrape out his
acquinntence? Name or redress him and we'll call it a night!
— .i..'. .o..l .
— You are sure it was not a shuler's shakeup or a plighter's
palming or a winker's wake etcaetera etcaeterorum you were at?
— Precisely.
— Mayhap. Hora pro Nubis, Thundersday, at A Little Bit Of
Heaven Howth, the wife of Deimetuus (D'amn), Earl Adam Fitz-
adam, of a Tartar (Birtha) or Sackville-Lawry and Morland-
West, at the Auspice for the Living, Bonnybrook, by the river
and A. Briggs Carlisle, guardian of the birdsmaids and deputil-
iser for groom. Pontifical mess. Or (soddenly) Schott, furtivfired
by the riots. No flies. Agreest?
— Mayhem. Also loans through the post. With or without
security. Everywhere. Any amount. Mofsovitz, swampstakers,
purely providential.
— Flood's. The pinkman, the squeeze, the pint with the kick.
Gaa. And then the punch to Gaelicise it. Fox. The lady with the
lamp. The boy in the barleybag. The old man on his ars. Great
Scrapp! 'Tis we and you and ye and me and hymns and hurts and
heels and shields. The eirest race, the ourest nation, the airest place
that erestationed. He was culping for penance while you were
ringing his belle. Did the kickee, goodman rued fox, say anything
important? Clam or cram, spick or spat?
— No more than Richman's periwhelker.
— Nnn ttt wrd?
— Dmn ttt thg.
— A gael galled by scheme of scorn? Nock?
— Sangnifying nothing. Mock!
— Fortitudo eius rhodammum tenuit?
— Five maim! Or something very similar.
— I should like to euphonise that. It sounds an isochronism.
Secret speech Hazelton and obviously disemvowelled. But it is
good laylaw too. We may take those wellmeant kicks for free
granted, though ultra vires, void and, in fact, unnecessarily so.
Happily you were not quite so successful in the process verbal
whereby you would sublimate your blepharospasmockical sup-
pressions, it seems?
— What was that? First I heard about it.
— Were you or were you not? Ask yourself the answer, I'm
not giving you a short question. Now, not to mix up, cast your
eyes around Capel Court. I want you, witness of this epic struggle,
as yours so mine, to reconstruct for us, as briefly as you can, in-
exactly the same as a mind's eye view, how these funeral games,
which have been poring over us through homer's kerryer pid-
geons, massacreedoed as the holiname rally round took place.
— Which? Sure I told you that afoul. I was drunk all lost life.
— Well, tell it to me befair, the whole plan of campaign, in
that bamboozelem mincethrill voice of yours. Let's have it,
christie! The Dublin own, the thrice familiar.
— Ah, sure, I eyewitless foggus. 'Tis all around me bebatters-
bid hat.
— Ah, go on now, Masta Bones, a gig for a gag, with your
impendements and your perroqtriques! Blank memory of hatless
darky in blued suit. You were ever the gentle poet, dove from
Haywarden. Pitcher cup, patcher cap, pratey man? Be nice about
it, Bones Minor! Look chairful! Come, delicacy! Go to the end,
thou slackerd! Once upon a grass and a hopping high grass it
was.
— Faith, then, Meesta Cheeryman, first he come up, a gag
as a gig, badgeler's rake to the town's major from the wesz,
MacSmashall Swingy of the Cattelaxes, got up regardless, with
a cock on the Kildare side of his Tattersull, in his riddlesneek's
ragamufflers and the horrid contrivance as seen above, whisklyng
into a bone tolerably delicately, the Wearing of the Blue, and taking
off his plushkwadded bugsby in his perusual flea and loisy man-
ner, saying good mrowkas to weevilybolly and dragging his feet
in the usual course and was ever so terribly naas, really, telling
him clean his nagles and fex himself up, Miles, and so on and so
fort, and to take the coocoomb to his grizzlies and who done
that foxy freak on his bear's hairs like fire bursting out of the
Ump pyre and, half hang me, sirr, if he wasn't wanting his
calicub body back before he'd to take his life or so save his life.
Then, begor, counting as many as eleven to thritytwo seconds
with his pocket browning, like I said, wann swanns wann, this is
my awethorrorty, he kept forecursing hascupth's foul Fanden,
Cogan, for coaccoackey the key of John Dunn's field fore it was
for sent and the way Montague was robbed and wolfling to
know all what went off and who burned the hay, perchance wilt
thoult say, before he'd kill all the kanes and the price of Patsch
Purcell's faketotem, which the man, his plantagonist, up from the
bog of the depths who was raging with the thirst of the sacred
sponge and who, as a mashter of pasht, so far as him was con-
cerned, was only standing there nonplush to the corner of Turbot
Street, perplexing about a paumpshop and pupparing to spit,
wanting to know whelp the henconvention's compuss memphis
he wanted with him new nothing about.
— A sarsencruxer, like the Nap O' Farrell Patter Tandy moor
and burgess medley? In other words, was that how in the annusual
curse of things, as complement to compliment though, after a
manner of men which I must and will say seems extraordinary,
their celicolar subtler angelic warfare or photoplay finister
started?
— Truly. That I may never!
— Did one scum then in the auradrama, the deff, after some
clever play in the mud, mention to the other undesirable, a
dumm, during diverse intentional instants, that upon the resume
after the angerus, how for his deal he was a pigheaded Swede and
to wend himself to a medicis?
— To be sore he did, the huggornut! Only it was turnip-
hudded dunce, I beg your pardon, and he would jokes bowlder-
blow the betholder with his black masket off the bawling green.
— Sublime was the warning!
— The author, in fact, was mardred.
— Did he, the first spikesman, do anything to him, the last
spokesman, when, after heaving some more smutt and chaff
between them, they rolled togutter into the ditch together?
Black Pig's Dyke?
— No, he had his teeth in the back of his head.
— Did Box then try to shine his puss?
— No but Cox did to shin the punman.
— The worsted crying that if never he looked on Leaverhol-
ma's again and the bester huing that he might ever save sunlife?
— Trulytruly Asbestos he ever. And sowasso I never.
— That forte carlysle touch breaking the campdens pianoback.
— Pansh!
— Are you of my meaning that would be going on to about
half noon, click o'clock, pip emma, Grinwicker time, by your
querqcut quadrant?
— You will be asking me and I wish to higgins you wouldn't.
Would it?
— Let it be twelve thirty after a somersautch of the tardest!
— And it was eleven thirstytoo befour in soandsuch, reloy on it!
— Tick up on time. Howday you doom? That rising day
sinks rosing in a night of nine week's wonder.
— Amties, marcy buckup! The uneven day of the unleventh
month of the unevented year. At mart in mass.
— A triduum before Our Larry's own day. By which of your
chronos, my man of four watches, larboard, starboard, dog or dath?
— Dunsink, rugby, ballast and ball. You can imagine.
— Language this allsfare for the loathe of Marses ambiviolent
about it. Will you swear all the same you saw their shadows a
hundred foot later, struggling diabolically over this, that and
the other, their virtues pro and his principality con, near the
Ruins, Drogheda Street, and kicking up the devil's own dust
for the Milesian wind?
— I will. I did. They were. I swear. Like the heavenly militia.
So wreek me Ghyllygully! With my tongue through my toecap on
the headlong stone of kismet if so 'tis the will of Whose B. Dunn.
— Weepin Lorcans! They must have put in some wonderful
work, ecad, on the quiet like, during this arms' parley, meatierities
forces vegateareans. Dost thou not think so?
— Ay.
— The illegallooking range or fender, alias turfing iron, a
product of Hostages and Co, Engineers, changed feet several
times as briars revalvered during the weaponswap? Piff?
— Puff! Excuse yourself. It was an ersatz lottheringcan.
— They did not know the war was over and were only bere-
belling or bereppelling one another by chance or necessity with
sham bottles, mere and woiney, as betwinst Picturshirts and
Scutticules, like their caractacurs in an Irish Ruman to sorowbrate
the expeltsion of the Danos? What sayest thou, scusascmerul?
— That's all. For he was heavily upright man, Limba romena
in Bucclis tucsada. Farcing gutterish.
— I mean the Morgans and the Dorans, in finnish?
— I know you don't, in Feeney's.
— The mujic of the footure on the barbarihams of the bashed?
Co Canniley?
— Da Donnuley.
— Yet this war has meed peace? In voina viritas. Ab chaos lex,
neat wehr?
— O bella! O pia! O pura! Amem. Handwalled amokst us.
Thanksbeer to Balbus!
— All the same you sound it twould clang houlish like Hull
hopen for christmians?
— But twill cling hellish like engels opened to neuropeans, if
you've sensed, whole the sum. So be vigil!
— And this pattern pootsch punnermine of concoon and
proprey went on, hog and minne, a whole whake, your night after
larry's night, spittinspite on Dora O'Huggins, ormonde caught
butler, the artillery of the O'Hefferns answering the cavalry of the
MacClouds, fortey and more fortey, a thousand and one times,
according to your cock and a biddy story? Lludillongi, for years
and years perhaps?
— That's ri. This is his largos life, this is me timtomtum and
this is her two peekweeny ones. From the last finger on the
second foot of the fourth man to the first one on the last one of
the first. That's right.
— Finny. Vary vary finny!
— It may look funny but fere it is.
— This is not guid enough, Mr Brasslattin. Finging and tong-
ing and winging and ponging! And all your rally and ramp and
rant! Didget think I was asleep at the wheel? D'yu mean to tall
grand jurors of thathens of tharctic on your oath, me lad, and
ask us to believe you, for all you're enduring long terms, with
yur last foot foremouthst, that yur moon was shining on the
tors and on the cresties and winblowing night after night, for
years and years perhaps, after you swearing to it a while back
before your Corth examiner, Markwalther, that there was reen
in planty all the teem?
— Perhaps so, as you grand duly affirm, Robman Calvinic.
I never thought over it, faith. I most certainly think so about it.
I hope. Unless it is actionable. It would be a charity for me to
think about something which I must on no caste accounts omit,
if you ask to me. It was told me as an inspired statement by a
friend of myself, in reply to salute, Tarpey, after three o'clock
mass, with forty ducks indulgent, that some rain was promised
to Mrs Lyons, the invalid of Aunt Tarty Villa, with lots gulp
and sousers and likewise he told me, the recusant, after telling
mass, with two hundred genuflexions, at the split hour of
blight when bars are keeping so sly, as was what's follows. He
is doing a walk, says she, in the feelmick's park, says he, like
a tarrable Turk, says she, letting loose on his nursery and,
begalla, he meet himself with Mr Michael Clery of a Tuesday
who said Father MacGregor was desperate to the bad place about
thassbawls and ejaculating about all the stairrods and the cats-
pew swashing his earwanker and thinconvenience being locked
up for months, owing to being putrenised by stragglers abusing
the apparatus, and for Tarpey to pull himself into his soup and
fish and to push on his borrowsaloaner and to go to the tumple
like greased lining and see Father MacGregor and, be Cad, sir, he
was to pipe up and saluate that clergyman and to tell his holiness
the whole goat's throat about the three shillings in the confusional
and to say how Mrs Lyons, the cuptosser, was the infidel who
prophessised to pose three shielings Peter's pelf off her tocher
from paraguais and albs by the yard to Mr Martin Clery for
Father Mathew to put up a midnight mask saints withins of a
Thrushday for African man and to let Brown child do and to leave
he Anlone and all the nuisances committed by soldats and non-
behavers and missbelovers for N.D. de l'Ecluse to send more
heehaw hell's flutes, my prodder again! And I never brought my
cads in togs blanket! Foueh!
— Angly as arrows, but you have right, my celtslinger! Nils,
Mugn and Cannut. Should brothers be for awe then?
— So let use off be octo while oil bike the bil and wheel
whang till wabblin befoul you but mere and mire trullopes will
knaver mate a game on the bibby bobby burns of.
— Quatsch! What hill ar yu fluking about, ye lamelookond
fyats! I'll discipline ye! Will you swear or affirm the day to yur
second sight noo and recant that all yu affirmed to profetised at
first sight for his southerly accent was all paddyflaherty? Will
ye, ay or nay?
— Ay say aye. I affirmly swear to it that it rooly and cooly
boolyhooly was with my holyhagionous lips continuously poised
upon the rubricated annuals of saint ulstar.
— That's very guid of ye, R.C.! Maybe yu wouldn't mind
talling us, my labrose lad, how very much bright cabbage or
paperming comfirts d'yu draw for all yur swearin? The spanglers,
kiddy?
— Rootha prootha. There you have me! Vurry nothing, O
potators, I call it for I might as well tell yous Essexelcy, and I
am not swallowing my air, the Golden Bridge's truth. It amounts
to nada in pounds or pence. Not a glass of Lucan nor as much as
the cost price of a highlandman's trousertree or the three crowns
round your draphole (isn't it dram disgusting?) for the whole
dumb plodding thing!
— Come now, Johnny! We weren't born yesterday. Pro tanto
quid retribuamus? I ask you to say on your scotty pictail you
were promised fines times with some staggerjuice or deadhorse,
on strip or in larges, at the Raven and Sugarloaf, either Jones's
lame or Jamesy's gait, anyhow?
— Bushmillah! Do you think for a moment? Yes, by the way.
How very necessarily true! Give me fair play. When?
— At the Dove and Raven tavern, no, ah? To wit your wiz-
zend?
— Water, water, darty water! Up Jubilee sod! Beet peat wheat
treat!
— What harm wants but demands it! How would you like to
hear yur right name now, Ghazi Power, my tristy minstrel, if
yur not freckened of frank comment?
— Not afrightened of Frank Annybody's gaspower or ill-
conditioned ulcers neither.
— Your uncles!
— Your gullet!
— Will you repeat that to me outside, leinconnmuns?
— After you've shouted a few? I will when it suits me,
hulstler.
— Guid! We make fight! Three to one! Raddy?
— But no, from exemple, Emania Raffaroo! What do you
have? What mean you, august one? Fairplay for Finnians! I will
have my humours. Sure, you would not do the cowardly thing
and moll me roon? Tell Queen's road I am seilling. Farewell,
but whenever! Buy!
— Ef I chuse to put a bullet like yu through the grill for
heckling what business is that of yours, yu bullock?
— I don't know, sir. Don't ask me, your honour!
— Gently, gently Northern Ire! Love that red hand! Let me
once more. There are sordidly tales within tales, you clearly
understand that? Now my other point. Did you know, whether
by melanodactylism or purely libationally, that one of these two
Crimeans with the fender, the taller man, was accused of a cer-
tain offence or of a choice of two serious charges, as skirts were
divided on the subject, if you like it better that way? You did,
you rogue, you?
— You hear things. Besides (and serially now) bushes have
eyes, don't forget. Hah!
— Which moral turpitude would you select of the two, for
choice, if you had your way? Playing bull before shebears or the
hindlegs off a clotheshorse? Did any orangepeelers or green-
goaters appear periodically up your sylvan family tree?
— Buggered if I know! It all depends on how much family
silver you want for a nass-and-pair. Hah!
— What do you mean, sir, behind your hah! You don't hah
to do thah, you know, snapograph.
— Nothing, sir. Only a bone moving into place. Blotogaff.
Hahah!
— Whahat?
— Are you to have all the pleasure quizzing on me? I didn't
say it aloud, sir. I have something inside of me talking to myself.
— You're a nice third degree witness, faith! But this is no
laughing matter. Do you think we are tonedeafs in our noses to
boot? Can you not distinguish the sense, prain, from the sound,
bray? You have homosexual catheis of empathy between narcis-
sism of the expert and steatopygic invertedness. Get yourself
psychoanolised!
— O, begor, I want no expert nursis symaphy from yours
broons quadroons and I can psoakoonaloose myself any time I
want (the fog follow you all!) without your interferences or any
other pigeonstealer.
— Sample! Sample!
— Have you ever weflected, wepowtew, that the evil what
though it was willed might nevewtheless lead somehow on to
good towawd the genewality?
— A pwopwo of haster meets waster and talking of plebiscites
by a show of hands, whether declaratory or effective, in all
seriousness, has it become to dawn in you yet that the deponent,
the man from Saint Yves, may have been (one is reluctant to use
the passive voiced) may be been as much sinned against as sin-
ning, for if we look at it verbally perhaps there is no true noun in
active nature where every bally being — please read this mufto
— is becoming in its owntown eyeballs. Now the long form and
the strong form and reform alltogether!
— Hotchkiss Culthur's Everready, one brother to never-
reached, well over countless hands, sieur of many winners and
losers, groomed by S. Samson and son, bred by dilalahs, will
stand at Bay (Dublin) from nun till dan and vites inversion and
at Miss or Mrs's MacMannigan's Yard.
— Perhaps you can explain, sagobean? The Mod needs a
rebus.
— Pro general continuation and in particular explication to
your singular interrogation our asseveralation. Ladiegent, pals
will smile but me and Frisky Shorty, my inmate friend, as is un-
common struck on poplar poetry, and a few fleabesides round at
West Pauper Bosquet, was glad to be back again with the chaps
and just arguing friendlylike at the Doddercan Easehouse having
a wee chatty with our hosty in his comfy estably over the old
middlesex party and his moral turps, meaning flu, pock, pox
and mizzles, grip, gripe, gleet and sprue, caries, rabies, numps
and dumps. What me and Frisky in our concensus and the whole
double gigscrew of suscribers, notto say the burman, having
successfully concluded our tour of bibel, wants to know is thisa-
here. Supposing, for an ethical fict, him, which the findings
showed, to have taken his epscene licence before the norsect's
divisional respectively as regards them male privates and or
concomitantly with all common or neuter respects to them
public exess females, whereas allbeit really sweet fillies, as was
very properly held by the metropolitan in connection with this
regrettable nuisance, touching arbitrary conduct, being in strict
contravention of schedule in board of forests and works bylaws
regulationing sparkers' and succers' amusements section of our
beloved naturpark in pursuance of which police agence me and
Shorty have approached a reverend gentlman of the name of
Mr Coppinger with reference to a piece of fire fittings as was
most obliging, 'pon my sam, in this matter of his explanations
affirmative, negative and limitative, given to me and Shorty,
touching what the good book says of toooldaisymen, concerning
the merits of early bisectualism, besides him citing from approved
lectionary example given by a valued friend of the name of Mr
J. P. Cockshott, reticent of England, as owns a pretty maisonette,
Quis ut Deus, fronting on to the Soussex Bluffs as was telling us
categoric how Mr Cockshott, as he had his assignation with,
present holder by deedpoll and indenture of the swearing belt,
he tells him hypothetic, the reverend Mr Coppinger, hereckons
himself disjunctively with his windwarrd eye up to a dozen miles
of a cunifarm school of herring, passing themselves supernatently
by the Bloater Naze from twelve and them mayridinghim by the
silent hour. Butting, charging, bracing, backing, springing,
shrinking, swaying, darting, shooting, bucking and sprinkling
their dossies sodouscheock with the twinx of their taylz. And,
reverend, he says, summat problematical, by yon socialist sun,
gut me, but them errings was as gladful as Wissixy kippers could
be considering, flipping their little coppingers, pot em, the fresh
little flirties, the dirty little gillybrighteners, pickle their spratties,
the little smolty gallockers, and, reverend, says he, more asser-
titoff, zwelf me Zeus, says he, lettin olfac be the extench of the
supperfishies, lamme the curves of their scaligerance and pesk
the everurge flossity of their pectoralium, them little salty popu-
lators, says he, most apodictic, as sure as my briam eggs is on
cockshot under noose, all them little upandown dippies they was
all of a libidous pickpuckparty and raid on a wriggolo finsky
doodah in testimonials to their early bisectualism. Such, he says,
is how the reverend Coppinger, he visualises the hidebound
homelies of creed crux ethics. Watsch yourself tillicately every
morkning in your bracksullied twilette. The use of cold water,
testificates Dr Rutty, may be warmly recommended for the sug-
jugation of cungunitals loosed. Tolloll, schools!
— Tallhell and Barbados wi ye and your Errian coprulation!
Pelagiarist! Remonstrant Montgomeryite! Short lives to your
relatives! Y'are absexed, so y'are, with mackerglosia and mick-
roocyphyllicks.
— Wait now, leixlep! I scent eggoarchicism. I will take you
to task. I don't follow you that far in your otherwise accurate
account. Was it esox lucius or salmo ferax? You are taxing us
into the driven future, are you not, with this ruttymaid fishery?
— Lalia Lelia Lilia Lulia and lively lovely Lola Montez.
— Gubbernathor! That they say is a fenian on the secret.
Named Parasol Irelly. Spawning ova and fry like a marrye
monach all amanygoround his seven parish churches! And
peopling the ribald baronies with dans, oges and conals!
— Lift it now, Hosty! Hump's your mark! For a runnymede
landing! A dondhering vesh vish, Magnam Carpam, es hit neat zoo?
— There's an old psalmsobbing lax salmoner fogeyboren Herrin
Plundehowse.
Who went floundering with his boatloads of spermin spunk about.
Leaping freck after every long tom and wet lissy between Howth and
Humbermouth.
Our Human Conger Eel!
— Hep! I can see him in the fishnoo! Up wi'yer whippy!
Hold that lad! Play him, Markandeyn! Bullhead!
— Pull you, sir! Olive quill does it. Longeal of Malin, he'll
cry before he's flayed. And his tear make newisland. Did a rise?
Way, lungfush! The great fin may cumule! Three threeth o'er
the wild! Manu ware!
— He missed her mouth and stood into Dee, Romunculus
Remus, plying the rape, so as now any bompriss's bound to get
up her if he pool her leg and bunk on her butt. No, he skid like
a skate and berthed on her byrnie and never a fear but they'll
land him yet, slitheryscales on liffeybank, times and times and
halve a time with a pillow of sand to polster him.
— Do you say they will?
— I bet you they will.
— Among the shivering sedges so? Weedy waving.
— Or tulipbeds of Rush below.
— Where you take your mugs to wash after dark?
— To my lead, Toomey lout, Tommy lad.
— Besides the bubblye waters of, babblyebubblye waters of?
— Right.
— Grenadiers. And tell me now. Were these anglers or angel-
ers coexistent and compresent with or without their tertium quid?
— Three in one, one and three.
Shem and Shaun and the shame that sunders em.
Wisdom's son, folly's brother.
— God bless your ginger, wigglewaggle! That's three slots
and no burners. You're forgetting the jinnyjos for the fayboys.
What, Walker John Referent? Play us your patmost! And un-
packyoulloups!
— Naif Cruachan! Woe on woe, says Wardeb Daly. Woman
will water the wild world over. And the maid of the folley will go
where glory. Sure I thought it was larking in the trefoll of the furry
glans with two stripping baremaids, Stilla Underwood and Moth
MacGarry, he was, hand to dagger, that time and their mother, a
rawkneepudsfrowse, I was given to understand, with superflow-
vius heirs, begum. There was that one that was always mad gone
on him, her first king of cloves and the most broadcussed man
in Corrack-on-Sharon, County Rosecarmon. Sure she was near
drowned in pondest coldstreams of admiration forherself, as bad
as my Tarpeyan cousin, Vesta Tully, making faces at her bach-
spilled likeness in the brook after and cooling herself in the
element, she pleasing it, she praising it, with salices and weidow-
wehls, all tossed, as she was, the playactrix, Lough Shieling's love!
— O, add shielsome bridelittle! All of her own! Nircississies
are as the doaters of inversion. Secilas through their laughing
classes becoming poolermates in laker life.
— It seems to same with Iscappellas? Ys? Gotellus! A tickey
for tie taughts!
— Listenest, meme mearest! They were harrowd, those fin-
weeds! Come, rest in this bosom! So sorry you lost him, poor
lamb! Of course I know you are a viry vikid girl to go in the
dreemplace and at that time of the draym and it was a very wrong
thing to do, even under the dark flush of night, dare all grand-
passia! He's gone on his bombashaw. Through geesing and so
pleasing at Strip Teasy up the stairs. The boys on the corner were
talking too. And your soreful miseries first come on you. Still to
forgive it, divine my lickle wiffey, and everybody knows you do
look lovely in your invinsibles, Eulogia, a perfect apposition with
the coldcream, Assoluta, from Boileau's I always use in the wards
after I am burned a rich egg and derive the greatest benefit,
sign of the cause. My, you do! Simply adorable! Could I but
pass my hands some, my hands through, thine hair! So vicky-
vicky veritiny! O Fronces, say howdyedo, Dotty! Chic hands.
The way they curve there under nue charmeen cuffs! I am more
divine like that when I've two of everything up to boyproof
knicks. Winning in a way, only my arms are whiter, dear.
Blanchemain, idler. Fairhair, frail one. Listen, meme sweety! O
be joyfold! Mirror do justice, taper of ivory, heart of the cona-
vent, hoops of gold! My veil will save it undyeing from his ether-
nal fire! It's meemly us two, meme idoll. Of course it was down-
right verry wickred of him, reely meeting me disguised, Bortolo
mio, peerfectly appealling, D.V., with my lovebirds, my colom-
binas. Their sinsitives shrinked. Even Netta and Linda, our seeyu
tities and they've sin sumtim, tankus! My rillies were liebeneaus,
my aftscents embre. How me adores eatsother simply (Mon ishe-
beau! Ma reinebelle!), in his storm collar, as I leaned yestreen
from his muskished labs, even my little pom got excited, when I
turned his head on his same manly bust and kissed him more.
Only he might speak to a person, lord so picious, taking up my
worths ill wrong! May I introduce! This is my futuous, lips and
looks lovelast. Still me with you, you poor chilled! Will make it
up with mother Concepcion and a glorious lie between us,
sweetness, so as not a novene in all the convent loretos, not my
littlest one of all, for mercy's sake need ever know, what passed
our lips or. Yes sir, we'll will! Clothea wind! Fee o fie! Covey us
niced! Bansh the dread! Alitten's looking. Low him lovly! Make
me feel good in the moontime. It will all take bloss as oranged at
St Audiens rosan chocolate chapelry with my diamants blickfeast
after at minne owned hos for all the catclub to go cryzy and
Father Blesius Mindelsinn will be beminding hand. Kyrielle ela-
tion! Crystal elation! Kyrielle elation! Elation immanse! Sing to
us, sing to us, sing to us! Amam! So meme nearest, languished
hister, be free to me! (I'm fading!) And listen, you, you beauty,
esster, I'll be clue to who knows you, pray Magda, Marthe with
Luz and Joan, while I lie with warm lisp on the Tolka. (I'm fay!)
— Eusapia! Fais-le, tout-tait! Languishing hysteria? The clou
historique? How is this at all? Is dads the thing in such or are
tits the that? Hear we here her first poseproem of suora unto
suora? Alicious, twinstreams twinestraines, through alluring
glass or alas in jumboland? Ding dong! Where's your pal in
silks alustre? Think of a maiden, Presentacion. Double her, An-
nupciacion. Take your first thoughts away from her, Immacola-
cion. Knock and it shall appall unto you! Who shone yet shim-
mers will be e'er scheining. Cluse her, voil her, hild her hindly.
After liryc and themodius soft aglo iris of the vals. This young
barlady, what, euphemiasly? Is she having an ambidual act her-
self in apparition with herself as Consuelas to Sonias may?
— Dang! And tether, a loguy O!
— Dis and dat and dese and dose! Your crackling out of your
turn, my Moonster firefly, like always. And 2 R.N. and Long-
horns Connacht, stay off my air! You've grabbed the capital and
you've had the lion's shire since 1542 but there's all the difference
in Ireland between your borderation, my chatty cove, and me. The
leinstrel boy to the wall is gone and there's moreen astoreen for
Monn and Conn. With the tyke's named moke. Doggymens'
nimmer win! You last led the first when we last but we'll first
trump your last with a lasting. Jump the railchairs or take them,
as you please, but and, sir, my queskins first, foxyjack! Ye've as
much skullabogue cheek on you now as would boil a caldron of
kalebrose. Did the market missioners Hayden Wombwell, when
given the raspberry, fine more than sandsteen per cent of chalk
in the purity, promptitude and perfection flour of this raw
materialist and less than a seventh pro mile in his meal? We
bright young chaps of the brandnew braintrust are briefed here
and with maternal sanction compellably empanelled at quarter
sessions under the six disqualifications for the uniformication of
young persons (Nodding Neutrals) removal act by Committal-
man Number Underfifteen to know had the peeress of generals,
who have been getting nose money cheap and stirring up the
public opinion about private balls with their legs, Misses Mirtha
and Merry, the two dreeper's assistents, had they their service
books in order and duly signed J. H. North and Company when
discharged from their last situations? Will ye gup and tell the
board in the anterim how, in the name of the three tailors on
Tooley Street, did O'Bejorumsen or Mockmacmahonitch, ex of
Butt and Hocksett's, violating the bushel standard, come into
awful position of the barrel of bellywash? And why, is it any harm
to ask, was this hackney man in the coombe, a papersalor with
a whiteluke to him, Fauxfitzhuorson, collected from Manofisle,
carrying his ark, of eggshaped fuselage and made in Fredborg
into the bullgine, across his back when he might have been
setting on his jonass inside like a Glassthure cabman? Where
were the doughboys, three by nombres, won in ziel, cavehill
exers or hearts of steel, Hansen, Morfydd and O'Dyar, V.D.,
with their glenagearries directing their steps according to the
R.U.C's liaison officer, with their trench ulcers open and
their hands in their pockets, contrary to military rules, when
confronted with his lifesize obstruction? When did he live off
rooking the pooro and how did start pfuffpfaffing at his Paterson
and Hellicott's? Is it a factual fact, proved up to scabsteethshilt,
that this fancydress nordic in shaved lamb breeches, child's kilts,
bibby buntings and wellingtons, with club, torc and headdress,
preholder of the Bar Ptolomei, is coowner of a hengster's circus
near North Great Denmark Street (incidentally, it's the most
unjoyable show going the province and I'm taking the youngsters
there Saturday first when it's halfprice naturals night to see the
fallensickners aping the buckleybackers and the blind to two
worlds taking off the deffydowndummies) and the shamshem-
showman has been complaining to the police barracks and
applying for an order of certiorari and crying out something vile
about him being molested, after him having triplets, by offers of
vacancies from females in this city, neighing after the man and his
outstanding attraction ever since they seen his X ray picture turned
out in wealthy red in the sabbath sheets? Was it him that suborned
that surdumutual son of his, a litterydistributer in Saint Patrick's
Lavatory, to turn a Roman and leave the chayr and gout in his
bare balbriggans, the sweep, and buy the usual jar of porter at
the Morgue and Cruses and set it down before the wife with her
fireman's halmet on her, bidding her mine the hoose, the strum-
pet, while him and his lagenloves were rampaging the roads in
all their paroply under the noses of the Heliopolitan constabu-
lary? Can you beat it? Prepare the way! Where's that gendarm
auxiliar, arianautic sappertillery, that reported on the whole hood-
lum, relying on his morse-erse wordybook and the trunchein up
his tail? Roof Seckesign van der Deckel and get her story from
him! Recall Sickerson, the lizzyboy! Seckersen, magnon of Errick.
Sackerson! Hookup!
— Day shirker four vanfloats he verdants market.
High liquor made lust torpid dough hunt her orchid.
— Hunt her orchid! Gob and he found it on her right enough!
With her shoes upon his shoulders, 'twas most trying to be-
holders when he upped their frullatullepleats with our warning.
A disgrace to the homely protestant religion! Bloody old pre-
adamite with his twohandled umberella! Trust me to spy on me
own spew!
— Wallpurgies! And it's this's your deified city? Norganson?
And it's we's to pray for Bigmesser's conversions? Call Kitty the
Beads, the Mandame of Tipknock Castle! Let succuba succumb, the
improvable his wealth made possible! He's cookinghagar that rost
her prayer to him upon the top of the stairs. She's deep, that one.
— A farternoiser for his tuckish armenities. Ouhr Former
who erred in having down to gibbous disdag our darling breed.
And then the confisieur for the boob's indulligence. As sunctioned
for his salmenbog by the Councillors-om-Trent. Pave Pannem
at his gaiter's bronze! Nummer half dreads Log Laughty. Mas-
ter's gunne he warrs the bedst. I messaged his dilltoyds sause-
pander mussels on the kisschen table. With my ironing duck
through his rollpins of gansyfett, do dodo doughdy dough, till
he was braising red in the toastface with lovensoft eyebulbs and
his kiddledrum steeming and rattling like the roasties in my
mockamill. I awed to have scourched his Abarm's brack for him.
For the loaf of Obadiah, take your pastryart's noas out of me
flouer bouckuet! Of the strainger scene you given squeezers to
me skillet! As cream of the hearth thou reinethst alhome. His
lapper and libbers was glue goulewed as he sizzled there watch-
ing me lautterick's pitcher by Wexford-Atelier as Katty and
Lanner, the refined souprette, with my bust alla brooche and the
padbun under my matelote, showing my jigotty sleeves and all
my new toulong touloosies. Whisk! There's me shims and here's
me hams and this is me juppettes, gause be the meter! Whisk!
What's this? Whisk! And that? He never cotched finer, balay
me, at Romiolo Frullini's flea pantamine out of Griddle-the-Sink
or Shusies-with-her-Soles-Up or La Sauzerelly, the pucieboots,
when I started so hobmop ladlelike, highty tighty, to kick the
time off the cluckclock lucklock quamquam camcam potapot
panapan kickakickkack. Hairhorehounds, shake up pfortner.
Fuddling fun for Fullacan's sake!
— All halt! Sponsor programme and close down. That's
enough, genral, of finicking about Finnegan and fiddling with
his faddles. A final ballot, guvnor, to remove all doubt. By sylph
and salamander and all the trolls and tritons, I mean to top her
drive and to tip the tap of this, at last. His thoughts that wouldbe
words, his livings that havebeen deeds. And will too, by the holy
child of Coole, primapatriock of the archsee, if I have at first
to down every mask in Trancenania from Terreterry's Hole to
Stutterers' Corner to find that Yokeoff his letter, this Yokan his
dahet. Pass the jousters of the king, the Kovnor-Journal and
eirenarch's custos himself no less, the meg of megs, with the Carri-
son old gang! Off with your persians! Search ye the Finn! The
sinder's under shriving sheet. Fa Fe Fi Fo Fum! Ho, croak,
evildoer! Arise, sir ghostus! As long as you've lived there'll be no
other. Doff!
— Amtsadam, sir, to you! Eternest cittas, heil! Here we are
again! I am bubub brought up under a camel act of dynasties long
out of print, the first of Shitric Shilkanbeard (or is it Owllaugh
MacAuscullpth the Thord?), but, in pontofacts massimust, I am
known throughout the world wherever my good Allenglisches
Angleslachsen is spoken by Sall and Will from Augustanus to
Ergastulus, as this is, whether in Farnum's rath or Condra's
ridge or the meadows of Dalkin or Monkish tunshep, by saints
and sinners eyeeye alike as a cleanliving man and, as a matter of
fict, by my halfwife, I think how our public at large appreciates
it most highly from me that I am as cleanliving as could be and
that my game was a fair average since I perpetually kept my
ouija ouija wicket up. On my verawife I never was nor can afford
to be guilty of crim crig con of malfeasance trespass against par-
son with the person of a youthful gigirl frifrif friend chirped
Apples, acted by Miss Dashe, and with Any of my cousines in
Kissilov's Slutsgartern or Gigglotte's Hill, when I would touch
to her dot and feel most greenily of her unripe ones as it should
prove most anniece and far too bahad, nieceless to say, to my
reputation on Babbyl Malket for daughters-in-trade being lightly
clad. Yet, as my acquainters do me the complaisance of apprising
me, I should her have awristed under my duskguise of whippers
through toombs and deempeys, lagmen, was she but tinkling of
such a tink. And, as a mere matter of ficfect, I tell of myself how
I popo possess the ripest littlums wifukie around the globelettes
globes upon which she was romping off on Floss Mundai out of
haram's way round Skinner's circusalley first with her consola-
tion prize in my serial dreams of faire women, Mannequins Passe,
with awards in figure and smile subsections, handicapped by two
breasts in operatops, a remarkable little endowment garment.
Fastened at various places. What spurt! I kickkick keenly love
such, particularly while savouring of their flavours at their most
perfect best when served with heliotrope ayelips, as this is, where
I do drench my jolly soul on the pu pure beauty of hers past.
She is my bestpreserved wholewife, sowell her as herafter, in
Evans's eye, with incompatibly the smallest shoenumber outside
chinatins. They are jolly dainty, spekin tluly. May we not recom-
mend them? It was my proofpiece from my prenticeserving.
And, alas, our private chaplain of Lambeyth and Dolekey, bishop-
regionary, an always sadfaced man, in his lutestring pewcape with
tabinet band, who has visited our various hard hearts and reins
by imposition of fufuf fingers, olso haddock's fumb, in that
Upper Room can speak loud to you some quite complimentary
things about my clean charactering, even when detected in the
dark, distressful though such recital prove to me, as this is, when
I introduced her (Frankfurters, numborines, why drive fear?) to
our fourposter tunies chantreying under Castrucci Sinior and De
Mellos, those whapping oldsteirs, with sycamode euphonium in
either notation in our altogether cagehaused duckyheim on
Goosna Greene, that cabinteeny homesweetened through affec-
tion's hoardpayns (First Murkiss, or so they sankeyed. Dodo! O
Clearly! And Gregorio at front with Johannes far in back. Aw,
aw!), gleeglom there's gnome sweepplaces like theresweep No-
whergs. By whom, as my Kerk Findlater's, ye litel chuch rond
ye coner, and K. K. Katakasm enjoineth in the Belief and, as you
all know, of a child, dear Humans, one of my life's ambitions of
my youngend from an early peepee period while still to hedje-
skool, intended for broadchurch, I, being fully alive to it, was
parruchially confirmed in Caulofat's bed by our bujibuji beloved
curate-author. Michael Engels is your man. Let Michael relay
Sutton and tell you people here who have the phoney habit (it
was remarketable) in his clairaudience, as this is, as only our own
Michael can, when reicherout at superstation, to bring ruptures
to our roars how I am amp amp amplify. Hiemlancollin. Pim-
pim's Ornery forninehalf. Shaun Shemsen saywhen saywhen.
Holmstock unsteaden. Livpoomark lloyrge hoggs one four tupps
noying. Big Butter Boost! Sorry! Thnkyou! Thatll beall for-
tody. Cal it off. Godnotch, vryboily. End a muddy crushmess!
Abbreciades anew York gustoms. Kyow! Tak.
— Tiktak. Tikkak.
— Awind abuzz awater falling.
— Poor a cowe his jew placator.
— It's the damp damp damp.
— Calm has entered. Big big Calm, announcer. It is most
ernst terooly a moresome intartenment. Colt's tooth! I will give
tandsel to it. I protest there is luttrelly not one teaspoonspill of
evidence at bottomlie to my babad, as you shall see, as this is.
Keemun Lapsang of first pickings. And I contango can take off
my dudud dirtynine articles of quoting here in Pynix Park be-
fore those in heaven to provost myself, by gramercy of justness,
I mean veryman and moremon, stiff and staunch for ever, and
enter under the advicies from Misrs Norris, Southby, Yates and
Weston, Inc, to their favoured client, into my preprotestant caveat
against the pupup publication of libel by any tixtim tipsyloon or
tobtomtowley of Keisserse Lean (a bloweyed lanejoymt, waring
lowbelt suit, with knockbrecky kenees and bullfist rings round
him and a fallse roude axehand (he is cunvesser to Saunter's
Nocelettres and the Poe's Toffee's Directory in his pisness), the
best begrudged man in Belgradia who doth not belease to our
paviour) to my nonesuch, that highest personage at moments
holding down the throne. So to speak of beauty scouts in elegant
pursuit of flowers, searchers for tabernacles and the celluloid art!
Happen seen sore eynes belived? The caca cad! He walked by
North Strand with his Thom's towel in hand. Snakeeye! Strangler
of soffiacated green parrots! I protest it that he is, by my
wipehalf. He was leaving out of my double inns while he was all
teppling over my single ixits. So was keshaned on for his recent
behaviour. Sherlook is lorking for him. Allare beltspanners.
Get your air curt! Shame upon Private M! Shames on his ful-
someness! Shamus on his atkinscum's lulul lying suulen for an
outcast mastiff littered in blood currish! Eristocras till Hanging
Tower! Steck a javelin through his advowtried heart! Instaun-
ton! Flap, my Larrybird! Dangle, my highflyer! Jiggety jig my
jackadandyline! Let me never see his waddphez again! And mine
it was, Barktholed von Hunarig, Soesown of Furrows (hour-
springlike his joussture, immitiate my chry! as urs now, so yous
then!), when to our lot it fell on my poplar Sexsex, my Sexen-
centaurnary, whenby Gate of Hal, before his hostel of the Wodin
Man, I hestened to freeholdit op to his Mam his Maman, Majus-
cules, His Magnus Maggerstick, first city's leasekuays of this
Nova Tara, our most noble, when hrossbucked on his pricelist
charger, Pferdinamd Allibuster (yeddonot need light oar till
Noreway for you fanned one o'er every doorway) with my all-
bum's greethims through this whole of my promises, handshakey
congrandyoulikethems, ecclesency.
Whosaw the jackery dares at handgripper thisa breast? Dose
makkers ginger. Some one we was with us all fours. Adversarian!
The spiking Duyvil! First liar in Londsend! Wulv! See you scar-
gore on that skeepsbrow! And those meisies! Sulken taarts! Man
sicker at I ere bluffet konservative? Shucks! Such ratshause bugs-
mess so I cannot barely conceive of! Lowest basemeant in hystry!
Ibscenest nansence! Noksagt! Per Peeler and Pawr! The broker-
heartened shugon! Hole affair is rotten muckswinish porcupig's
draff. Enouch!
— Is that yu, Whitehed?
— Have you headnoise now?
— Give us your mespilt reception, will yous?
— Pass the fish for Christ's sake!
— Old Whitehowth he is speaking again. Ope Eustace tube!
Pity poor whiteoath! Dear gone mummeries, goby! Tell the
woyld I have lived true thousand hells. Pity, please, lady, for
poor O.W. in this profundust snobbing I have caught. Nine dirty
years mine age, hairs hoar, mummery failend, snowdrift to my
ellpow, deff as Adder. I askt you, dear lady, to judge on my tree
by our fruits. I gave you of the tree. I gave two smells, three eats.
My freeandies, my celeberrimates: my happy bossoms, my all-
falling fruits of my boom. Pity poor Haveth Childers Every-
where with Mudder!
That was Communicator, a former colonel. A disincarnated
spirit, called Sebastion, from the Rivera in Januero, (he is not
all hear) may fernspreak shortly with messuages from my dead-
ported. Let us cheer him up a little and make an appunkment for
a future date. Hello, Commudicate! How's the buttes? Ever-
scepistic! He does not believe in our psychous of the Real Ab-
sence, neither miracle wheat nor soulsurgery of P. P. Quemby.
He has had some indiejestings, poor thing, for quite a little while,
confused by his tonguer of baubble. A way with him! Poor Felix
Culapert! Ring his mind, ye staples, (bonze!) in my ould reeke-
ries' ballyheart and in my krumlin and in aroundisements and
stremmis! Sacks eleathury! Sacks eleathury! Bam! I deplore over
him ruely. Mongrieff! O Hone! Guestermed with the nobelities,
to die bronxitic in achershous! So enjoying of old thick whiles,
in haute white toff's hoyt of our formed reflections, with stock
of eisen all his prop, so buckely hosiered from the Royal Leg,
and his puertos mugnum, he would puffout a dhymful bock.
And the how he would husband her that verikerfully, his cigare
divane! (He would redden her with his vestas, but 'tis naught.)
With us his nephos and his neberls, mest incensed and befogged
by him and his smoke thereof. But he shall have his glad stein of
our zober beerbest in Oscarshal's winetavern. Buen retiro! The
boyce voyce is still flautish and his mounth still wears that
soldier's scarlet though the flaxafloyeds are peppered with salse-
dine. It is bycause of what he was ascend into his prisonce on
account off. I whit it wel. Hence his deepraised words. Some day
I may tell of his second storey. Mood! Mood! It looks like some-
one other bearing my burdens. I cannot let it. Kanes nought.
Well, yeamen, I have bared my whole past, I flatter myself,
on both sides. Give me even two months by laxlaw in second
division and my first broadcloth is business will be to protest to
Recorder at Thing of all Things, or court of Skivinis, with mar-
chants grey, antient and credibel, Zerobubble Barrentone, Jonah
Whalley, Determined Codde or Cucumber Upright, my jurats,
if it does not occur again. O rhyme us! Haar Faagher, wild heart
in Homelan; Harrod's be the naun. Mine kinder come, mine
wohl be won. There is nothing like leuther. O Shee! And nosty
mens in gladshouses they shad not peggot stones. The elephant's
house is his castle. I am here to tell you, indeed to goodness, that,
allbe I discountenanced beallpersuasions, in rinunciniation of
pomps of heretofore, with a wax too held in hand, I am thorgt-
fulldt to do dope me of her miscisprinks and by virchow of those
filthered Ovocnas presently like Browne umbracing Christina
Anya, after the Irishers, to convert me into a selt (but first I must
proxy babetise my old antenaughties), when, as Sigismond Stol-
terforth, with Rabbin Robroost for my auspicer and Leecher
Rutty for my lifearst and Lorencz Pattorn (Ehren til viktrae!),
when I will westerneyes those poor sunuppers and outbreighten
their land's eng. A man should stump up and I will pay my
pretty decent trade price for my glueglue gluecose, peebles,
were it even, as this is, the legal eric for infelicitous conduict (here
incloths placefined my pocketanchoredcheck) and, as a matter of
fact, I undertake to discontinue entyrely all practices and I deny
wholeswiping in toto at my own request in all stoytness to have
confermentated and confoederated and agreed in times prebellic,
when here were waders for the trainsfolk, as it is now nuggently
laid to me, with a friend from mine, Mr Billups, pulleter, my
quarterbrother, who sometimes he is doing my locum for me
on a grubstake and whom I have cleped constoutuent, for so it
was felt by me, at goodbuy cootcoops byusucapiture a mouth-
less niggeress, Blanchette Brewster from Cherna Djamja, Blaw-
lawnd-via-Brigstow, or to illsell my fourth part in her, which al-
though allowed of in Deuterogamy as in several places of Scrip-
ture (copyright) and excluded books (they should quite rightly
verbanned be), would seem eggseggs excessively haroween to
my feelimbs for two punt scotch, one pollard and a crockard or
three pipples on the bitch. Thou, Frick's Flame, Uden Sulfer,
who strikest only on the marryd bokks, enquick me if so be I
did cophetuise milady's maid! In spect of her beavers she is a
womanly and sacret. Such wear a frillick for my comic strip,
Mons Meg's Monthly, comes out aich Fanagan's Weck, to bray
at by clownsillies in Donkeybrook Fair. It would lackin mackin
Hodder's and Cocker's erithmatic. The unpurdonable preemp-
son of all of her of yourn, by Juno Moneta! If she, irished Marry-
onn Teheresiann, has been disposed of for her consideration, I,
Ledwidge Salvatorious, am tradefully unintiristid. And if she is
still further talc slopping over her cocoa contours, I hwat mick
angars, am strongly of opinion why I should not be. Inprobable!
I do not credit one word of it from such and suchess mistra-
versers. Just feathers! Nanenities! Or to have ochtroyed to
resolde or borrough by exchange same super melkkaart, means
help; best Brixton high yellow, no outings: cent for cent on
Auction's Bridge. 'Twere a honnibel crudelty wert so tente-
ment to their naktlives and scatab orgias we devour about in
the mightyevil roohms of encient cartage. Utterly improperable!
Not for old Crusos or white soul of gold! A pipple on the
panis, two claps on the cansill, or three pock pocks cassey
knocked on the postern! Not for one testey tickey culprik's
coynds ore for all ecus in cunziehowffse! So hemp me Cash!
I meanit.
My herrings! The surdity of it! Amean to say. Her bare
idears, it is choochoo chucklesome. Absurd bargain, mum, will
call. One line with! One line, with with! Will ate everadayde sau-
mone like a boyne alive O. The tew cherripickers, with their
Catheringnettes, Lizzy and Lissy Mycock, from Street Flesh-
shambles, were they moon at aube with hespermun and I their
covin guardient, I would not know to contact such gretched
youngsteys in my ways from Haddem or any suistersees or
heiresses of theirn, claiming by, through, or under them. Ous of
their freiung pfann into myne foyer. Her is one which rassembled
to mein enormally. The man what shocked his shanks at contey
Carlow's. He is Deucollion. Each habe goheerd, uptaking you
are innersence, but we sen you meet sose infance. Deucollion!
Odor. Evilling chimbes is smutsick rivulverblott but thee hard
casted thereass pigstenes upann Congan's shootsmen in Schot-
tenhof, ekeascent? Igen Deucollion! I liked his Gothamm chic!
Stuttertub! What a shrubbery trick to play! I will put my oath-
head unner my whitepot for ransom of beeves and will stand
me where I stood mine in all free heat between Pelagios and little
Chistayas by Roderick's our mostmonolith, after my both ears-
toear and brebreeches buybibles and, minhatton, testify to my
unclothed virtue by the longstone erectheion of our allfirst man-
here. I should tell you that honestly, on my honour of a Near-
wicked, I always think in a wordworth's of that primed favou-
rite continental poet, Daunty, Gouty and Shopkeeper, A. G.,
whom the generality admoyers in this that is and that this is to
come. Like as my palmer's past policy I have had my best mas-
ter's lessons, as the public he knows, and do you know, home-
sters, I honestly think, if I have failed lamentably by accident
benefits though shintoed, spitefired, perplagued and cram-
krieged, I am doing my dids bits and have made of my prudentials
good. I have been told I own stolemines or something of that
sorth in the sooth of Spainien. Hohohoho! Have I said ogso how
I abhor myself vastly (truth to tell) and do repent to my nether-
heart of suntry clothing? The amusin part is, I will say, hotel-
men, that since I, over the deep drowner Athacleeath to seek
again Irrlanding, shamed in mind, with three plunges of my
ruddertail, yet not a bottlenim, vanced imperial standard by
weaponright and platzed mine residenze, taking bourd and
burgage under starrymisty and ran and operated my brixtol selec-
tion here at thollstall, for mean straits male with evorage fimmel,
in commune soccage among strange and enemy, among these
plotlets, in Poplinstown, alore Fort Dunlip, then-on-sea, hole
of Serbonian bog, now city of magnificent distances, good-
walldabout, with talus and counterscarp and pale of palisades,
upon martiell siegewin, with Abbot Warre to blesse, on yon
slauchterday of cleantarriffs, in that year which I have called
myriabellous, and overdrave these marken (the soord on Whence-
hislaws was mine and mine the prusshing stock of Allbrecht
the Bearn), under patroonshaap of our good kingsinnturns,
T. R. H. Urban First and Champaign Chollyman and Hungry
the Loaved and Hangry the Hathed, here where my tenenure of
office and my toils of domestication first began, with weight of
woman my skat and skuld but Flukie of the Ravens as my sure
piloter, famine with Englisch sweat and oppedemics, the two-
toothed dragon worms with allsort serpents, has compolitely
seceded from this landleague of many nations and open and
notorious naughty livers are found not on our rolls. This seat of
our city it is of all sides pleasant, comfortable and wholesome.
If you would traverse hills, they are not far off. If champain land,
it lieth of all parts. If you would be delited with fresh water, the
famous river, called of Ptolemy the Libnia Labia, runneth fast
by. If you will take the view of the sea, it is at hand. Give heed!
— Do Drumcollogher whatever you do!
— Visitez Drumcollogher-la-Belle!
— Be suke ad sie so ersed Drumcollogher!
— Vedi Drumcollogher e poi Moonis.
— Things are not as they were. Let me briefly survey. Pro clam
a shun! Pip! Peep! Pipitch! Ubipop jay piped, ibipep goes the
whistle. Here Tyeburn throttled, massed murmars march: where
the bus stops there shop I: here which ye see, yea reste. On me,
your sleeping giant. Estoesto! Estote sunto! From the hold of
my capt in altitude till the mortification that's my fate. The end
of aldest mosest ist the beginning of all thisorder so the last of
their hansbailis shall the first in our sheriffsby. New highs for
all! Redu Negru may be black in tawn but under them lintels
are staying my horneymen meet each his mansiemagd. For peers
and gints, quaysirs and galleyliers, fresk letties from the say and
stale headygabblers, gaingangers and dudder wagoners, pullars
off societies and pushers on rothmere's homes. Obeyance from
the townsmen spills felixity by the toun. Our bourse and politico-
ecomedy are in safe with good Jock Shepherd, our lives are on
sure in sorting with Jonathans, wild and great. Been so free!
Thank you, besters! Hattentats have mindered. Blaublaze devil-
bobs have gone from the mode and hairtrigger nicks are quite
out of time now. Thuggeries are reere as glovars' metins, lepers
lack, ignerants show beneath suspicion like the bitterhalves of
esculapuloids. In midday's mallsight let Miledd discurverself.
Me ludd in her hide park seek Minuinette. All is waldy bonums.
Blownose aerios we luft to you! Firebugs, good blazes! Lubbers,
kepp your poudies drier! Seamen, we segn your skivs and wives!
Seven ills so barely as centripunts havd I habt, seaventy seavens
for circumference inkeptive are your hill prospect. Braid Black-
fordrock, the Calton, the Liberton, Craig and Lockhart's, A.
Costofino, R. Thursitt. The chort of Nicholas Within was my
guide and I raised a dome on the wherewithouts of Michan: by
awful tors my wellworth building sprang sky spearing spires,
cloud cupoled campaniles: further this. By fineounce and im-
posts I got and grew and by grossscruple gat I grown outreaches-
ly: murage and lestage were my mains for Ouerlord's tithing
and my drains for render and prender the doles and the tribute:
I was merely out of my mint with all the percussors on my
braincap till I struck for myself and muched morely by token: to
Sirrherr of Gambleden ruddy money, to Madame of Pitymount
I loue yous. Paybads floriners moved in hugheknots against us and
I matt them, pepst to papst, barthelemew: milreys (mark!) on-
fell, and (Luc!) I arose Daniel in Leonden. Bulafests onvied me,
Corkcuttas graatched. Atabey! I braved Brien Berueme to berow
him against the Loughlins, all her tolkies shraking: Fugabollags!
Lusqu'au bout! If they had ire back of eyeball they got danage
on front tooth: theres were revelries at ridottos, here was rivalry
in redoubt: I wegschicked Duke Wellinghof to reshockle Roy
Shackleton: Walhalloo, Walhalloo, Walhalloo, mourn in plein!
Under law's marshall and warschouw did I thole till lead's
plumbate, ping on pang, reliefed me. I made praharfeast upon
acorpolous and fastbroke down in Neederthorpe. I let faireviews
in on slobodens but ranked rothgardes round wrathmindsers: I
bathandbaddend on mendicity and I corocured off the unoculated.
Who can tell their tale whom I filled ad liptum on the plain of
Soulsbury? With three hunkered peepers and twa and twas!
For sleeking beauties I spinned their nightinveils, to slumbred
beast I tummed the thief air. Round the musky moved a mur-
mel but mewses whinninaird and belluas zoomed: tendulcis
tunes like water parted fluted up from the westinders while from
gorges in the east came the strife of ourangoontangues. All in
my thicville Escuterre ofen was thorough fear but in the meck-
ling of my burgh Belvaros was the site forbed: tuberclerosies I
reized spudfully from the murphyplantz Hawkinsonia and berri-
berries from the pletoras of the Irish shou. I heard my liberti-
lands making free through their curraghcoombs, my trueblues
hurusalaming before Wailingtone's Wall: I richmounded the
rainelag in my bathtub of roundwood and conveyed it with
cheers and cables, roaring mighty shouts, through my longer-
tubes of elm: out of fundness for the outozone I carried them
amd curried them in my Putzemdown cars to my Kommeandine
hotels: I made sprouts fontaneously from Philuppe Sobriety in
the coupe that's cheyned for noon inebriates: when they weaned
weary of that bibbing I made infusion more infused: sowerpacers
of the vinegarth, obtemperate unto me! When you think me in
my coppeecuffs look in ware would you meckamockame, as you
pay in caabman's sheltar tot the ites like you corss the tees.
Wherefore watch ye well! For, while I oplooked the first of
Janus's straight, I downsaw the last of Christmas steps: syndic
podestril and on the rates, I for indigent and intendente: in
Forum Foster I demosthrenated my folksfiendship, enmy pupuls
felt my burk was no worse than their brite: Sapphrageta and
Consciencia were undecidedly attached to me but the maugher
machrees and the auntieparthenopes my schwalby words with
litted spongelets set their soakye pokeys and botchbons afume:
Fletcher-Flemmings, elisaboth, how interquackeringly they ro-
gated me, their golden one, I inhesitant made replique: Mesde-
memdes to leursieuresponsor: and who in hillsaide, don't you
let flyfire till you see their whites of the bunkers' eyes! Mr An-
swers: Brimgem young, bringem young, bringem young!: in
my bethel of Solyman's I accouched their rotundaties and I turn-
keyed most insultantly over raped lutetias in the lock: I gave bax
of biscums to the jacobeaters and pottage bakes to the esausted;
I dehlivered them with freakandesias by the constant droppings
from my smalls instalmonths while I titfortotalled up their
farinadays for them on my slataper's slate with my chandner's
chauk: I jaunted on my jingelbrett rapt in neckloth and sashes,
and I beggered about the amnibushes like belly in a bowle. In
the humanity of my heart I sent out heyweywomen to refresh
the ballwearied and then, doubling megalopolitan poleetness,
my great great greatest of these charities, devaleurised the base
fellows for the curtailment of their lower man: with a slog to
square leg I sent my boundary to Botany Bay and I ran up a
score and four of mes while the Yanks were huckling the Em-
pire: I have been reciping om omominous letters and widely-
signed petitions full of pieces of pottery about my monumental-
ness as a thingabolls and I have been inchanting causeries to the
feshest cheoilboys so that they are allcalling on me for the song
of a birtch: the more secretely bi built, the more openly palas-
tered. Attent! Couch hear! I have becket my vonderbilt hutch
in sunsmidnought and at morningrise was encampassed of
mushroofs. Rest and bethinkful, with licence, thanks. I con-
sidered the lilies on the veldt and unto Balkis did I disclothe
mine glory. And this. This missy, my taughters, and these man,
my son, from my fief of the villa of the Ostmanorum to Thor-
stan's, recte Thomars Sraid, and from Huggin Pleaze to William
Inglis his house, that man de Loundres, in all their barony of
Saltus, bonders and foeburghers, helots and zelots, strutting oges
and swaggering macks, the darsy jeamses, the drury joneses,
redmaids and bleucotts, in hommage all and felony, all who have
received tickets, fair home overcrowded, tidy but very little
furniture, respectable, whole family attends daily mass and is
dead sick of bread and butter, sometime in the militia, mentally
strained from reading work on German physics, shares closet
with eight other dwellings, more than respectable, getting com-
fortable parish relief, wageearner freshly shaven from prison,
highly respectable, planning new departure in Mountgomery
cyclefinishing, eldest son will not serve but peruses Big-man-up-
in-the-Sky scraps, anoopanadoon lacking backway, quasi respec-
table, pays ragman in bones for faded windowcurtains, staircase
continually lit up with guests, particularly respectable, house
lost in dirt and blocked with refuse, getting on like Roe's dis-
tillery on fire, slovenly wife active with the jug, in business for
himself, has a tenth illegitimate coming, partly respectable,
following correspondence courses, chucked work over row, both
cheeks kissed at levee by late marquess of Zetland, sharing closet
which is profusely written over with eleven other subscribers,
once respectable, open hallway pungent of Baltic dishes, bangs
kept woman's head against wall thereby disturbing neighbours,
private chapel occupies return landing, removal every other
quarter day, case one of peculiar hopelessness, most respectable,
nightsoil has to be removed through snoring household, eccen-
tric naval officer not quite steady enjoys weekly churchwarden
and laugh while reading foreign pictorials on clump stump before
door, known as the trap, widow rheumatic and chars, haunted,
condemned and execrated, of dubious respectability, tools too
costly pledged or uninsured, reformed philanthropist whenever
feasible takes advantage of unfortunates against dilapidating
ashpits, serious student is eating his last dinners, floor dangerous
for unaccompanied old clergymen, thoroughly respectable, many
uncut pious books in evidence, nearest watertap two hundred
yards' run away, fowl and bottled gooseberry frequently on
table, man has not had boots off for twelve months, infant being
taught to hammer flat piano, outwardly respectable, sometimes
hears from titled connection, one foot of dust between banister
and cracked wall, wife cleans stools, eminently respectable, otta-
wark and regular loafer, should be operated would she consent,
deplorable rent in roof, claret cellar cobwebbed since the ponti-
ficate of Leo, wears drill trousers and collects rare buddhas,
underages very treacly and verminous have to be separated, sits
up with fevercases for one and threepence, owns two terraces
(back to back breeze), respectable in every way, harmless im-
becile supposingly weakminded, a sausage every Sunday, has a
staff of eight servants, outlook marred by ne'er-do-wells using
the laneway, lieabed sons go out with sisters immediately after
dark, has never seen the sea, travels always with her eleven
trunks of clothing, starving cat left in disgust, the pink of re-
spectability, resting after colonial service, labours at plant, the
despair of his many benefactresses, calories exclusively from
Rowntrees and dumplings, one bar of sunlight does them all
january and half february, the V. de V's (animal diet) live in five-
storied semidetached but rarely pay tradesmen, went security
for friend who absconded, shares same closet with fourteen simi-
lar cottages and an illfamed lodginghouse, more respectable than
some, teawidow pension but held to purchase, inherited silk hat
from father-in-law, head of domestic economy never mentioned,
queery how they live, reputed to procure, last four occupants
carried out, mental companionship with mates only, respecta-
bility unsuccessfully aimed at, copious holes emitting mice, de-
coration from Uganda chief in locked ivory casket, grandmother
has advanced alcoholic amblyopia, the terror of Goodmen's
Field, and respected and respectable, as respectable as respec-
table can respectably be, though their orable amission were the
herrors I could have expected, all, let them all come, they are my
villeins, with chartularies I have talledged them. Wherfor I will and
firmly command, as I willed and firmly commanded, upon my
royal word and cause the great seal now to be affixed, that from
the farthest of the farther of their fathers to their children's chil-
dren's children they do inhabit it and hold it for me unencum-
bered and my heirs, firmly and quietly, amply and honestly,
and with all the liberties and free customs which the men of Tol-
bris, a city of Tolbris, have at Tolbris, in the county of their city
and through whole my land. Hereto my vouchers, knive and
snuffbuchs. Fee for farm. Enwreak us wrecks.
Struggling forlongs I have livramentoed, milles on milles of
mancipelles. Lo, I have looked upon my pumpadears in their
easancies and my drummers have tattled tall tales of me in the land:
in morgenattics litt I hope, in seralcellars louched I bleakmealers:
on my siege of my mighty I was parciful of my subject but in street
wauks that are darkest I debelledem superb: I deemed the drugtails
in my pettycourts and domstered dustyfeets in my husinclose: at
Guy's they were swathed, at Foulke's slashed, the game for a
Gomez, the loy for a lynch: if I was magmonimoss as staidy lavgiver
I revolucanized by my eructions: the hye and bye wayseeds I
scattered em, in my graben fields sew sowage I gathered em: in
Sheridan's Circle my wits repose, in black pitts of the pestered
Lenfant he is dummed. (Hearts of Oak, may ye root to piece!
Rechabites obstain! Clayed sheets, pineshrouded, wake not, walk
not! Sigh lento, Morgh!) Quo warranto has his greats my soliven
and puissant lord V. king regards for me and he has given to me
my necknamesh (flister it!) which is second fiddler to nomen.
These be my genteelician arms. At the crest, two young frish,
etoiled, flappant, devoiled of their habiliments, vested sable, with-
drewers argent. For the boss a coleopter, pondant, partifesswise,
blazoned sinister, at the slough, proper. In the lower field a terce
of lanciers, shaking unsheathed shafts, their arms crossed in sal-
tire, embusked, sinople. Motto, in letters portent: Hery Crass
Evohodie. Idle were it, repassing from elserground to the elder
disposition, to inquire whether I, draggedasunder, be the forced
generation of group marriage, holocryptogam, of my essenes, or
carried of cloud from land of locust, in ouzel galley borne, I,
huddled til summone be the massproduct of teamwork, three
surtouts wripped up in itchother's, two twin pritticoaxes lived as
one, troubled in trine or dubildin too, for abram nude be I or
roberoyed with the faineans, of Feejeean grafted ape on merfish,
surrounded by obscurity, by my virtus of creation and by boon
of promise, by my natural born freeman's journeymanright and
my otherchurch's inher light, in so and such a manner as me it
so besitteth, most surely I pretend and reclam to opt for simul-
taneous. Till daybowbreak and showshadows flee. Thus be hek.
Verily! Verily! Time, place!
— What is your numb? Bun!
— Who gave you that numb? Poo!
— Have you put in all your sparepennies? I'm listening. Sree!
— Keep clear of propennies! Fore!
— Mr Televox, Mrs Taubiestimm and invisible friends! I may-
may mean to say. Annoyin part of it was, had faithful Fulvia,
following the wiening courses of this world, turned her back on
her ways to gon on uphills upon search of louvers, brunette men of
Earalend, Chief North Paw and Chief Goes in Black Water and
Chief Brown Pool and Chief Night Cloud by the Deeps, or again
had Fluvia, amber whitch she was, left her chivily crookcrook
crocus bed at the bare suggestions of some prolling bywaymen
from Moabit who could have abused of her, the foxrogues, there
might accrue advantage to ask wher in pellmell her deceivers
sinned. Yet know it was vastly otherwise which I have heard it
by mmummy goods waif, as I, chiefly endmost hartyly aver, for
Fulvia Fluvia, iddle woman to the plusneeborn, ever did ensue
tillstead the things that pertained unto fairnesse, this wharom I
am fawned on, that which was loost. Even so, for I waged love
on her: and spoiled her undines. And she wept: O my lors!
— Till we meet!
— Ere we part!
— Tollollall!
— This time a hundred years!
— But I was firm with her. And I did take the reached of my
delights, my jealousy, ymashkt, beyashmakt, earswathed, snout-
snooded, and did raft her flumingworthily and did leftlead her
overland the pace, from lacksleap up to liffsloup, tiding down, as
portreeve should, whimpering by Kevin's creek and Hurdlesford
and Gardener's Mall, long rivierside drive, embankment large,
to Ringsend Flott and Ferry, where she began to bump a little
bit, my dart to throw: and there, by wavebrink, on strond of
south, with mace to masthigh, taillas Cowhowling, quailless
Highjakes, did I upreized my magicianer's puntpole, the tridont
sired a tritan stock, farruler, and I bade those polyfizzyboisterous
seas to retire with hemselves from os (rookwards, thou seasea
stamoror!) and I abridged with domfine norsemanship till I had
done abate her maidan race, my baresark bride, and knew her
fleshly when with all my bawdy did I her whorship, min
bryllupswibe: Heaven, he hallthundered; Heydays, he flung
blissforhers. And I cast my tenspan joys on her, arsched over-
tupped, from bank of call to echobank, by dint of strongbow
(Galata! Galata!) so streng we were in one, malestream in
shegulf: and to ringstresse I thumbed her with iern of Erin
and tradesmanmarked her lieflang mine for all and singular, iday,
igone, imorgans, and for ervigheds: base your peak, you! you,
strike your flag!: (what screech of shippings! what low of dampf-
bulls!): from Livland, hoks zivios, from Lettland, skall vives!
With Impress of Asias and Queen Columbia for her pairanymphs
and the singing sands for herbrides' music: goosegaze annoynted
uns, canailles canzoned and me to she her shyblumes lifted: and
I pudd a name and wedlock boltoned round her the which to
carry till her grave, my durdin dearly, Appia Lippia Pluviabilla,
whiles I herr lifer amstell and been: I chained her chastemate to
grippe fiuming snugglers, her chambrett I bestank so to spunish
furiosos: I was her hochsized, her cleavunto, her everest, she was
my annie, my lauralad, my pisoved: who cut her ribbons when
nought my prowes? who expoused that havenliness to beacha-
lured ankerrides when not I, freipforter?: in trinity huts they
met my dame, pick of their poke for me: when I foregather 'twas
my sumbad, if I farseeker itch my list: had I not workit in my
cattagut with dogshunds' crotts to clene and had I not gifted
of my coataways, constantonoble's aim: and, fortiffed by my
right as man of capitol, I did umgyrdle her about, my vermin-
celly vinagerette, with all loving kindness as far as in man's
might it lay and enfranchised her to liberties of fringes: and I
gave until my lilienyounger turkeythighs soft goods and hard-
ware (catalogue, passim) and ladderproof hosiery lines (see
stockinger's raiment), cocquette coiffs (see Agnes' hats) and
peningsworths of the best taste of knaggs of jets and silvered
waterroses and geegaws of my pretty novelties and wispywaspy
frocks of redferns and lauralworths, trancepearances such as
women cattle bare and peltries piled, the peak of Pim's and
Slyne's and Sparrow's, loomends day lumineused luxories on
looks, La Primamère, Pyrrha Pyrrhine, Or de Reinebeau, Sourire
d'Hiver and a crinoline, wide a shire, and pattens for her trilibies
that know she might the tortuours of the boots and bedes of
wampun with to toy and a murcery glaze of shard to mirrow, for
all daintiness by me and theetime, the cupandnaggin hour: and
I wound around my swanchen's neckplace a school of shells of
moyles marine to swing their saysangs in her silents: and, upping
her at king's count, her aldritch cry oloss unheading, what
though exceeding bitter, I pierced her beak with order of the
Danabrog (Cunnig's great! Soll leve! Soll leve!): with mare's
greese cressets at Leonard's and Dunphy's and Madonna lan-
thorns before quintacasas and tallonkindles spearhead syngeing
nickendbookers and mhutton lightburnes dipdippingdownes in
blackholes, the tapers of the topers and his buntingpall at hoist:
for days there was no night for nights were days and our folk had
rest from Blackheathen and the pagans from the prince of pacis:
what was trembling sod quaked no more, what were frozen loins
were stirred and lived: gone the septuor, dark deadly dismal dole-
ful desolate dreadful desperate, no more the tolvmaans, bloody
gloomy hideous fearful furious alarming terrible mournful
sorrowful frightful appalling: peace, perfect peace: and I hung up
at Yule my duindleeng lunas, helphelped of Kettil Flashnose, for
the souperhore of my frigid one, coloumba mea, frimosa mea, in
Wastewindy tarred strate and Elgin's marble halles lamping
limp from black to block, through all Livania's volted ampire,
from anodes to cathodes and from the topazolites of Mourne,
Wykinloeflare, by Arklow's sapphire siomen's lure and Wexter-
ford's hook and crook lights to the polders of Hy Kinsella:
avenyue ceen my peurls ahumming, the crown to my estuarine
munipicence?: three firths of the sea I swept with draughtness
and all ennempties I bottled em up in bellomport: when I stab-
marooned jack and maturin I was a bad boy's bogey but it was
when I went on to sankt piotersbarq that they gave my devil his
dues: what is seizer can hack in the old wold a sawyer may hew
in the green: on the island of Breasil the wildth of me perished
and I took my plowshure sadly, feeling pity for me sored: where
bold O'Connee weds on Alta Mahar, the tawny sprawling beside
that silver burn, I sate me and settled with the little crither of my
hearth: her intellects I charmed with I calle them utile thoughts,
her turlyhyde I plumped with potatums for amiens pease in
plenty: my biblous beadells shewed her triumphs of craftygild
pageantries, loftust Adam, duffed our cousterclother, Conn and
Owel with cortoppled baskib, Sire Noeh Guinnass, exposant of
his bargeness and Lord Joe Starr to hump the body of the camell:
I screwed the Emperor down with ninepins gaelic with sixpenny-
hapennies for his hanger on: my worthies were bissed and trissed
from Joshua to Godfrey but my processus prophetarum they would
have plauded to perpetuation. Moral: book to besure, see press.
— He's not all buum and bully.
— But his members handly food him.
— Steving's grain for's greet collegtium.
— The S. S. Paudraic's in the harbour.
— And after these things, I fed her, my carlen, my barelean lin-
steer, upon spiceries for her garbage breath, italics of knobby
lauch and the rich morsel of the marrolebone and shains of gar-
leeks and swinespepper and gothakrauts and pinkee dillisks,
primes of meshallehs and subleties in jellywork, come the feast
of Saint Pancreas, and shortcake nutrients for Paas and Pingster's
pudding, bready and nutalled and potted fleshmeats from store
dampkookin, and the drugs of Kafa and Jelupa and shallots out
of Ascalon, feeding her food convenient herfor, to pass them into
earth: and to my saffronbreathing mongoloid, the skinsyg, I gave
Biorwik's powlver and Uliv's oils, unguents of cuticure, for the
swarthy searchall's face on her, with handewers and groinscrubbers
and a carrycam to teaze her tussy out, the brown but combly,
a mopsa's broom to duist her sate, and clubmoss and wolves-
foot for her more moister wards (amazing efficiencies!): and, my
shopsoiled doveling, when weeks of kindness kinly civicised, in
our saloons esquirial, with fineglas bowbays, draped embrasures
and giltedged librariums, I did devise my telltale sports at even-
bread to wring her withers limberly, wheatears, slapbang,
drapier-cut-dean, bray, nap, spinado and ranter-go-round: we
had our lewd mayers and our lairdie meiresses kiotowing and
smuling fullface on us out of their framous latenesses, oilclothed
over for cohabitation and allpointed by Hind: Tamlane the Cus-
sacke, Dirk Wettingstone, Pieter Stuyvesant, Outlawrie O'Niell,
Mrs Currens, Mrs Reyson-Figgis, Mrs Dattery, and Mrs Pruny-
Quetch: in hym we trust, footwash and sects principles, apply to
overseer, Amos five six: she had dabblingtime for exhibiting her
grace of aljambras and duncingk the bloodanoobs in her vaux-
halls while I, dizzed and dazed by the lumpty thumpty of our
interloopings, fell clocksure off my ballast: in our windtor palast
it vampared for elenders, we lubded Sur Gudd for the sleep and
the ghoasts: she chauffed her fuesies at my Wigan's jewels while
she skalded her mermeries on my Snorryson's Sagos: in pay-
cook's thronsaale she domineered, lecking icies off the dormer
panes all admired her in camises: on Rideau Row Duanna dwells,
you merk well what you see: let wellth were I our pantocreator
would theirs be tights for the gods: in littleritt reddinghats and
cindery yellows and tinsel and glitter and bibs under hoods: I
made nusance of many well pressed champdamors and peddled
freely in the scrub: I foredreamed for thee and more than full-
maked: I prevened for thee in the haunts that joybelled frail light-
a-leaves for sturdy traemen: pelves ad hombres sumus: I said to
the shiftless prostitute; let me be your fodder; and to rodies and
prater brothers; Chau, Camerade!: evangel of good tidings, om-
nient as the Healer's word, for the lost, loathsome and whomso-
ever will: who, in regimentation through liberal donation in co-
ordination for organisation of their installation and augmenta-
tion plus some annexation and amplification without precipita-
tion towards the culmination in latification of what was formerly
their utter privation, competence, cheerfulness, usefulness and
the meed, shall, in their second adams, all be made alive: my tow
tugs steered down canal grand, my lighters lay longside on
Regalia Water. And I built in Urbs in Rure, for minne elskede,
my shiny brows, under astrolobe from my upservatory, an erd-
closet with showne ejector wherewithin to be squatquit in most
covenience from her sabbath needs, when open noise should
stilled be: did not I festfix with mortarboard my unniversiries,
wholly rational and gottalike, sophister agen sorefister, life sizars
all?: was I not rosetted on two stellas of little egypt? had not I
rockcut readers, hieros, gregos and democriticos?: triscastellated,
bimedallised: and by my sevendialled changing charties Hiberns-
ka Ulitzas made not I to pass through twelve Threadneedles and
Newgade and Vicus Veneris to cooinsight?: my camels' walk,
kolossa kolossa! no porte sublimer benared my ghates: Oi polled
ye many but my fews were chousen (Voter, voter, early voter,
he was never too oft for old Sarum): terminals four my staties
were, the Geenar, the Greasouwea, the Debwickweck, the Mif-
greawis. And I sept up twinminsters, the pro and the con, my
stavekirks wove so norcely of peeled wands and attachatouchy
floodmud, now all loosebrick and stonefest, freely masoned
arked for covennanters and shinners' rifuge: descent from above
on us, Hagiasofia of Astralia, our orisons thy nave and absedes,
our aeone tone aeones thy studvaast vault; Hams, circuitise!
Shemites, retrace!: horns, hush! no barkeys! hereround is't
holied!: all truanttrulls made I comepull, all rubbeling gnomes
I pushed, gowgow: Cassels, Redmond, Gandon, Deane, Shep-
perd, Smyth, Neville, Heaton, Stoney, Foley, Farrell, Vnost with
Thorneycroft and Hogan too: sprids serve me! gobelins guard!:
tect my tileries (O tribes! O gentes!), keep my keep, the peace
of my four great ways: oathiose infernals to Booth Salvation,
arcane celestials to Sweatenburgs Welhell! My seven wynds I
trailed to maze her and ever a wynd had saving closes and all these
closes flagged with the gust, hoops for her, hatsoff for him and
ruffles through Neeblow's garding: and that was why Blabus was
razing his wall and eltering the suzannes of his nighboors: and
thirdly, for ewigs, I did reform and restore for my smuggy
piggiesknees, my sweet coolocked, my auburn coyquailing one,
her paddypalace on the crossknoll with massgo bell, sixton
clashcloshant, duominous and muezzatinties to commind the fit-
ful: doom adimdim adoom adimadim: and the oragel of the lauds
to tellforth's glory: and added thereunto a shallow laver to slub
out her hellfire and posied windows for her oriel house: gospelly
pewmillieu, christous pewmillieu: zackbutts babazounded, ollguns
tararulled: and she sass her nach, chillybombom and forty bon-
nets, upon the altarstane. May all have mossyhonours!
— Hoke!
— Hoke!
— Hoke!
— Hoke!
— And wholehail, snaeffell, dreardrizzle or sleetshowers of bless-
ing, where it froze in chalix eller swum in the vestry, with fairskin
book and ruling rod, vein of my vergin page, her chastener ever
I did learn my little ana countrymouse in alphabeater cameltem-
per, from alderbirk to tannenyou, with myraw rattan atter dun-
drum; ooah, oyir, oyir, oyir: and I did spread before my Livvy,
where Lord street lolls and ladies linger and Cammomile Pass
cuts Primrose Rise and Coney Bend bounds Mulbreys Island but
never a blid had bledded or bludded since long agore when the
whole blighty acre was bladey well pessovered, my selvage mats
of lecheworked lawn, my carpet gardens of Guerdon City, with
chopes pyramidous and mousselimes and beaconphires and colos-
sets and pensilled turisses for the busspleaches of the summira-
mies and esplanadas and statuesques and templeogues, the Par-
donell of Maynooth, Fra Teobaldo, Nielsen, rare admirable, Jean
de Porteleau, Conall Gretecloke, Guglielmus Caulis and the eiligh
ediculous Passivucant (glorietta's inexcellsiored!): for irkdays
and for folliedays till the comple anniums of calendarias, gregoro-
maios ant gypsyjuliennes as such are pleased of theirs to walk:
and I planted for my own hot lisbing lass a quickset vineyard and
I fenced it about with huge Chesterfield elms and Kentish hops
and rigs of barlow and bowery nooks and greenwished villas
and pampos animos and (N.I.) necessitades iglesias and pons for
aguaducks: a hawthorndene, a feyrieglenn, the hallaw vall, the
dyrchace, Finmark's Howe, against lickybudmonth and gleaner-
month with a magicscene wall (rimrim! rimrim!) for a Queen's
garden of her phoenix: and (hush! hush!) I brewed for my alpine
plurabelle, wigwarming wench, (speakeasy!) my granvilled brand-
old Dublin lindub, the free, the froh, the frothy freshener, puss,
puss, pussyfoot, to split the spleen of her maw: and I laid down
before the trotters to my eblanite my stony battered waggon-
ways, my nordsoud circulums, my eastmoreland and westland-
more, running boullowards and syddenly parading, (hearsemen,
opslo! nuptiallers, get storting!): whereon, in mantram of true-
men like yahoomen (expect till dutc cundoctor summoneth him
all fahrts to pay, velkommen all hankinhunkn in this vongn of
Hoseyeh!), claudesdales withe arabin streeds, Roamer Reich's
rickyshaws with Hispain's King's trompateers, madridden mus-
tangs, buckarestive bronchos, poster shays and turnintaxis, and
tall tall tilburys and nod nod noddies, others gigging gaily, some
sedated in sedans: my priccoping gents, aroger, aroger, my dam-
sells softsidesaddled, covertly, covertly, and Lawdy Dawe a perch
behind: the mule and the hinny and the jennet and the mustard
nag and piebald shjelties and skewbald awknees steppit lively
(lift ye the left and rink ye the right!) for her pleashadure: and
she lalaughed in her diddydid domino to the switcheries of the
whip. Down with them! Kick! Playup!
Mattahah! Marahah! Luahah! Joahanahanahana!

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